The thing that worries me about you
is that you know what Iron Maiden's Dave Murray looked like in his younger years.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:11, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Well, I am the most biblical-scale bender you know, surely?

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:12, Reply)

You really need to sort that out.
Try having sex with a woman. It might cure you.
( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:13, Reply)

It's the unlikelihood of finding a woman
with low-enough self-esteem that they'd agree to wearing a 'Freddie Mercury' mask during coitus, that makes your suggestion so difficult to arrange.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:15, Reply)

Ahem!
*takes a step forward*
( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:17, Reply)

Actually I was thinking Freddie might a little too dominant a personality
Think you could get a mask like the above?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Dave Murray?
Pfft! you can anything on the internet if you look hard enough.
( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:26, Reply)

As long as I'm 'hard enough' then hopefully it won't be an issue

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Well if I hum, 'Can I play with madness', while we get it on, that should help.

( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Crow calls his dick "Madness"?
Oh dear.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:32, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Actually, I call it 'Victory'
That way, I always know that 'Victory is mine!'
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Guess what's just happened?
My mum's in hospital. She's fallen over. AGAIN.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:37, Reply)

Oh dear. She alright?
Has she always been this clumsy?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Possible broken little finger.
Thankfully this time on her right hand. No, she'd never broken a bone before the wrist- it's usually my dad who does stupid things like breaking his back and shattering his ankle in a foreign country with a 7-month pregnant wife.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Well, at least she's not gone and fallen off a mountain or something.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Down a mountain.
It was my dad who fell off a mountain.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:51, Reply)

They've got quite a good track record, haven't they?
I remember taking my old housemate to hospital. When I 'phoned his mother to tell her the news, her reaction wasn't one of concern, or panic. No, it was simply a resigned sigh of
"What's he done now?"
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:53, Reply)

It's my dad, and his rock-climbing pedigree
My sister ran into a fence and gouged her forehead open- all I've done is almost slit a tendon in the palm of my hand after falling over in a stream. Oh, and I hated life so much when I was born I refused to breathe.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Ah, yes, reportedly I managed that
Though I maintain it was the fault of our umbilical cord for suggesting 'it's cold out there, you'll want a scarf...'
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:59, Reply)

You were almost choked to death as a baby?
No wonder you love auto-erotic asphyxiation.

It wasn't like that for me- I literally refused to breathe on my own so they strapped me to an oxygen tank.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 17:00, Reply)

...and already I appear to have established a veritable wigwam

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:33, Reply)

*get's ready for a pow wow*

( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Oh, you're in for a right old Wigwam-Bam...

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Isn't that a song by Bay City Rollers?

( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:38, Reply)

I thought it was The Sweet.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:38, Reply)

You are correct.
Now have sex with me.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:39, Reply)

You're gonna make me your man?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Less 'man' than 'next ill-fated victim,' but yeah, more or less.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:41, Reply)

You don't want me.
I'm not the droid you're looking for.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:42, Reply)

I'll leave you two alone then : (
*goes for a bath*
( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:42, Reply)

I've declined Crow's kind offer.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:42, Reply)

I'm not being second best again.

( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:43, Reply)

When have you ever been second best?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Every bloody time mate.

( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:58, Reply)

well it isn't a race!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 17:00, Reply)

He doesn't look very hard at all, though, does he?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Depends if you find Sheridan Smith intimidating, I guess...

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:29, Reply)

let's be honest if he's after girls with low self esteem he's in the right place.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:17, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:19, Reply)

hi!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:22, Reply)

I really should try having sex with a woman.
I hear good things about it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:17, Reply)

Tiny cocks, I've heard.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:18, Reply)

i bet
nobody has ever said that to you!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:21, Reply)

ffs have a cold shower
it's getting pathetic
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Really? Well if I can walk normally the following morning, then even better!

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 29 Dec 2010, 16:21, Reply)