I guess
I sent some amusing texts, mainly consisting of 4chan memes, to an old friend. And some generally bad ones. I might give up drinking.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 14:55, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

When I got drunk
I called someone a Joey :( when asked to explain the joke I realised just exactly how it sounds off the internet
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Hahahahah oh dear
Internet invading real life is the worst. The dress I was wearing last night is very cleavagey, and it's hard to accurately explain why saying "I like breasts" after anyone mentions breasts is funny.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 15:06, Reply)

It really is!
Dress look good?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 15:07, Reply)

I'm lying on my back with my shoulders up
my tits are under my chin. It's awesome.

the purple one
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

That's rather a nice dress
Got much sleep?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 15:12, Reply)

It is isn't it.
Paid £22 for it, though, but not too bothered at all. A fair amount, I feel ok. Just a bit queasy and delicate. I have donuts as my swan song to fattydom, and low fat yogurts in the fridge, ready for tomorrow.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Low fat yogurts are loaded with sugar

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

I was going to get one
but they have none left. For the best probably, florals don't look good on me.

Haha I have more than just one. I have crisps, duck spring rolls etc
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 15:50, Reply)

I'm a bit excited for my roast chicken-effect slices
I got laughed at for announcing my wariness of eating chicken last night. I definitely prefer red meat, which is a shame, as chicken's quite a good source of protein, isn't it?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Mmm roast-chicken
chicken is good, but in all-honesty red meat is hardly the worst thing to eat :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 16:05, Reply)

Oh it's not real roast chicken, it's mycoprotein or whatever the fuck that shit is.
I dunno how to cook meat, really.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 16:07, Reply)

You know I can't actually cook?
Well I want to cook this fxcuisine.com/default.asp?language=2&Display=141&resolution=high&page=1

or this www.channel4.com/4food/recipes/tv-show/come-dine-with-me-recipes/series-11/slow-cooked-blade-of-beef-with-potato-gratin-recipe
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 16:10, Reply)

The first looks delicious
Second not quite sure what's going on.
What the fuck is a blade of beef?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 16:19, Reply)

it's off the shoulder
apparantly it holds together better in slow-cooking

/pretend knowledge
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 16:20, Reply)

Ah I see.
I like the clarification that you get a cheap cut so it stays together. Sets off the expense of the wine I guess
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Mmm wine
I'm supposed to put it in the food?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 16:33, Reply)

Champagne is amazing and I love it and Bombay Sapphire too.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 16:38, Reply)

I nearly vommed when I looked at my sent messages this morning
I keep remembering bits of last night. I have a new rule. If, at any point during a night, I start speaking Latvian, I have to stop drinking and go to bed. I only ever speak Latvian when spanged off my face :(
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 1 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Oh dear.
I'm going to look at a selection of them. It appears I told someone to use my arsehole as a cunt. What did you say?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Let's just say working with my mate Tom is going to be awkward tonight
I told him exactly what I thought of him trying to cheat on his missus with me. I told him that if he sent me another picture of his cock I'd rip it off and shove it down his throat.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 1 Jan 2011, 15:35, Reply)

-applause-
Good work. You have an excellent point and while the delivery might have required some work I admire the sentiment.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 15:36, Reply)

Oh, the others are much, much worse
I'm trying to block the sight of them from my memory. I will never admit to them.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 1 Jan 2011, 15:55, Reply)

Oh dear oh dear.
Phones are such evil things!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 15:57, Reply)

I really need to learn to hide it from myself :(

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 1 Jan 2011, 16:09, Reply)