What have you got to lose?
just ask him for a drink.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:06, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

This^

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:08, Reply)

He's properly out of my league
and I share the occasional class with him as well!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:09, Reply)

Well there is no reason why you can't suggest a group social
And see if there is any spark there, is there?

You might well be his type, you just don't know.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:11, Reply)

If his "type" involves breasts
then she's his type.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:15, Reply)

No his type is pretty, posh blonde girls

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:30, Reply)

So...
how are you not his type, exactly?
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:34, Reply)

I will modify my above answer
REALLY pretty, REALLY blond, REALLY posh girls.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:37, Reply)

True I spose
You're only slightly posh.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:38, Reply)

I'm none of the above
I bloody well hope London is different
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:58, Reply)

Your league
is probably considerably greater and higher than you believe it is. But you could always leave it until easter, and after that you won't really have any classes, so if he knocks you back you won't really ever have to see him again..
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:12, Reply)

That's so spineless
Right, lets lay it out here, no man is ever upset or embarrassed when a pretty girl asks him out for a drink. He'll either give it a go to see what happens, or he'll politely decline, but he won't hold it against you.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:15, Reply)

the problem is college
we're the gossipiest college in Oxford and I don't think I could put up with the constant gloating/gossip if he knocked me back
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:20, Reply)

Depends how you ask though.
You could be sneeky.

If, one a group social he happens to mention he is going to a rugby/football/hockey game, pipe up with, 'I've always fancied going to that, but I've never known anyone who fancied going' - and leave it at that, see if he suggests something.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:22, Reply)

This is not entirely true
some men are real cunts and will laugh you out of a room. I know, as this has happened to not only me but a number of people I know.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:20, Reply)

Not all men are cunts.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:22, Reply)

And even amongst them, very few are likely to burst into tears, phone the police and try and get you arrested on a charge of assault.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:25, Reply)

No, I know they're not
I seem to have encountered a few in my time is all.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:26, Reply)

as have we all

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:27, Reply)

Not I
But then I've never had a girl laugh in my face due to my advances.
Mainly because I never make any because I'm paranoid and crippled with fear of rejection
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:33, Reply)

What, never?
Surely not. (to the latter rather than the former)
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:39, Reply)

Ok, not never
Once, and it started my first long term relationship. I was a bit more confident back then. Nowadays (last 3 years or so) I just have never been able to pluck up the courage to just ask.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:43, Reply)

Dude
you're nearly 30. MTFU and ask! What's changed between then and now that you have less confidence?
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:45, Reply)

Some personal stuff mixed in with putting on weight
I was skinny back in uni days. And thanks for reminding me about my age :p
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:47, Reply)

God, you're as bad as swipe and Amberl
you're NOT FAT.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:49, Reply)

I hide it well, srsly
Cider has been a cruel mistress to me, love handles (or as my ex called them, 'door frames') suck.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:52, Reply)

I'm sure this is a monumental load of bollocks
you're not fat.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:03, Reply)

I want to lose some off my belly/hips
And build some strength up. Then I might be more comfortable in myself.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:06, Reply)

And did you cycle in to work today? :P

(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:08, Reply)

I did actually
It was a fair shock to the system!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:11, Reply)

Good for you!
how far is it?
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:17, Reply)

No more than a mile
But with traffic and a steep hill...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:20, Reply)

Well, it's a start
*not judging you at all with a 6 mile round trip and two steep hills..
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:23, Reply)

Nice going!
What I used to do, and plan to start again, is after I get home from work staying on the bike and continuing past my house to the country walk/cycle path, go for 3 miles down there then head back.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:27, Reply)

Ugh, that's noble
I don't think I could be arsed after work, but fair play to you. Sometimes I stay at work til 6pm or later simply because I can't be arsed to cycle home!
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:32, Reply)

You've got a longer trip though
Sometimes by the time I get home I've just found my stride, so want to go another 20 minutes.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:35, Reply)

NEARLY 30?
Pfft.

I've got to the age now when I only judge women on how many kids I'm expected to take on!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:49, Reply)

You're not old
and he's not fat. What is it with everyone on here?!
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:51, Reply)

We're all lacking in selfconfidence

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:54, Reply)

Nail... head.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:56, Reply)

I'm starting to feel old though berk.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:57, Reply)

Better than feeling yourself
In public at least.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:57, Reply)

You're as old as the woman you feel
mind you, in dog years...
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:04, Reply)

You're mean to me.
*Sulks*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:06, Reply)

Not even a smirk?
I thought that was quite amusing.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:07, Reply)

Yeah, but I can't tell you I smiled, can I? I'm not losing my positions as the night time pun slinger!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:11, Reply)

I don't think you're in any danger of that, midear

(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:16, Reply)

*BEAMS*
That was a compliment, yes?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:23, Reply)

Yes dear

(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:31, Reply)

heh heh heh

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:35, Reply)

What Jeff said
I've never known any man be a cunt like that, and if I ever saw a mate do it I'd give him a piece of my mind!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:24, Reply)

Wow.
*Sobs a bit*

Someone on the Internet agrees with me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:25, Reply)

Are you going to print it out and get your mum to put it on the fridge?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:26, Reply)

Why don't you tell her for me, when you next see her?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:28, Reply)

You know?
Aww man, look, Jeff, I was trying to keep it a secret, y'know? It's just... I know you can be busy, so I thought I'd be the one to help your Mum with the Times crossword. We cool?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:31, Reply)

DADDY!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:35, Reply)

There's no way he's out of your league
So just ask him if he fancies a drink some time.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:25, Reply)

This man is model-hot
though I genuinely don't just like him for his looks
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:26, Reply)

Is he on your facebook?
*moseys over for a browse*
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:28, Reply)

he is on facebook yeah
but his privacy settings are high
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:32, Reply)

No casual perving then?
Shame. You'll have to point him out when I come down next month. I promise I won't embarrass you...
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:33, Reply)

"Oi! OIIII!!! You!! No, not you, YOU! You with the hair!"
"My mate fancies you! She wants to get off with you an' everyfing! Teehee!"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:35, Reply)

I'm going cold all over
just thinking about it!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:36, Reply)

She won't even be drunk when she does it
And she'll be yelling it at random strangers.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:38, Reply)

I would never be so cruel
I've had people do that to me and I genuinely wanted to stomp their face in to mush.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:38, Reply)

Last time a girl said that to me I was 14
She said "My mate wants to snog you". I didn't think her mate was that good looking, so I said "Erm, no thank you". She demanded a reason, so I lied and said I had a girlfriend. She then said "No you don't, look at you!", which I think was harsh considering I was trying not to hurt her poor mate.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:41, Reply)

Ugh, teenagers are horrible creatures
to be fair, I don't think I've made a total arse of myself since hitting 20, although I've always been quite shy about asking people out. That was mainly due to body issues though, and now I don't have any I do kind of wonder if the asking-someone-for-a-drink process would still turn me in to a blushing, stuttering fool.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:44, Reply)

woo! Grats on not having body issues any more!
I still do, but getting better. I imagine I'll still fumble over my tongue and accidentally call the girl a cunt when trying to ask her out...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:45, Reply)

'I'm in lesbians with you'?
and yeah, losing 30% of your body weight will do that to you. Of course I still have a few (flatchested, woo yay!) but on the whole I am gazillions better than I was.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:47, Reply)

Haha!
Mind you, if she then says "Eugh, lesbians are evil!" then I've saved myself paying for a wasted dinner.
Hmm, i know my face and general appearance acts as a screening process for finding suitable ladies, maybe I should run through some quickfire questions as well?
1. Are you offended by any of the following: homosexuality, other races or religions, porn, sickipedia or video games?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:50, Reply)

Most women I know
with a very few but rather notable exceptions are not in to porn at all. Or particularly bothered about video games, with the exception of Rock Band.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:53, Reply)

They don't have to be in to it
Just don't like people who rant about it being disgusting. It might not be everyone's cup of tea, and I'm not evangelising it, just I don't think (caveat: normal porn!) it warrants hate-fueled rants.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:56, Reply)

Certainly not whilst you're having a wank, anyway.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:58, Reply)

Exactly!
Besides, it's my laptop and I paid for the flights...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:01, Reply)

Meh. Normal sex is normal
just watching other people do it does nothing for me, and I find it slightly distasteful, but I don't hate it. There is an awful lot of fucking weird and nasty porn out there though, and I don't like that at all.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:06, Reply)

To the first point, that's a perfectly acceptable attitude
To the second, I'm desensitised to a LOT of the various kinks out there, but there are still some that are just nasty even if they do fall into my "it's all fine so long as it's between consenting adults" remit.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:10, Reply)

No, but they help
Get making small talk with him and see if he fancies a drink. If he politely declines, you've not lost anything. If he's a cunt and laughs or gossips, get the OT White Knight Brigade on the case!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:30, Reply)

Achem.
Sorry to wade in, but having read this, it seems like you're having a wibbler over nothing. The solution is simple. Get drunk, try pulling him, if it doesn't work, blame the booze.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:31, Reply)

It's only because I'm a bit tipsy
that I'm even thinking about it. And I can't do the drunk thing because last time I did that (it went horribly wrong) he was present!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:35, Reply)

Thinks....
got it!

Drugs. Go on a drugs bender, and THEN try and pull him.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:41, Reply)

Or go for the Chompy route
aka 'Plink Plink Fizzzzz'
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:44, Reply)

That is quite possibly the sweetest way I've ever heard date rape mentioned.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:45, Reply)

I like to think I have a way with words

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:46, Reply)

You have.
Quite rapey would be my assessment!

*Ignore my sig*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:50, Reply)

Yeah, but sweet-rapey
He'd cuddle you afterwards
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:51, Reply)

I'm so awesome it could never be rape

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:53, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1046178
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:57, Reply)

Aww
you're so mean Amberl.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:58, Reply)

Yep, I'm a contradiction
Or contra-dick-shun.
I don't think I'm that awesome, it's just false internet bravado for comedic purpose, I do lack self-confidence.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:59, Reply)

now I feel mean
you were pretty cool when I met you :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:03, Reply)

I'm all good in that kind of pub b3ta social situation once I relax
It's more I have no self-confidence in approaching complete strangers.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:07, Reply)

But they;re complete strangers
whom you will never see again if it all goes wrong.

NB, I have yet to take my own advice on this
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:12, Reply)

You may have noticed I was giving the same advice to Amberl
Do as I say, not as I do (or don't, in this case).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:14, Reply)

Join the rest of b3ta in that
We'd never flirt with a total stranger make a real move on someone we liked
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:17, Reply)

Does this mean I'm not allowed on b3ta anymore?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:19, Reply)

Sorry Bella
if you have confidence in real life and are attractive and outgoing you're part of a very niche (but not unknown) section of /offtopic
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:21, Reply)

Hm.
I think it's because I don't *actually* like people I flirt with. By that, I mean that I don't want a relationship with them and don't care whether I ever see them again. I hate relationships.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:24, Reply)

I would
and do. It's when it stops being harmless flirting and me taking a genuine interest in them (or rarely, vice versa) that I become a gibbering idiot.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:21, Reply)

You're right
I should modify that to ever making a genuine move
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:22, Reply)

True
I can talk to girls, but if I quite fancy them then there's no way I won't turn into a slurring, inarticulate mumbler.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:29, Reply)

*panders Labs*
EDIT: That was supposed to also say:

[Insert whatever cheers you up here]
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:03, Reply)

Hehe, thanks for my generic pandering :P

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:08, Reply)

*generic acceptance of your thanks*

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:14, Reply)

Well, it's either MTFU or frustrated wanking for you, m'dear.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:41, Reply)