i just watched a client polish off 19 sandwiches in the space of an hour
19. how is this humanly possible?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:01, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

By eating one sandwich every 3.16 minutes

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:02, Reply)

without your already obscene gut exploding
in an orgy of blood, bile and sandwich filling, i meant.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:02, Reply)

are you calling me fat?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:04, Reply)

only if you think obscene means fat
it could have meant "obscenely toned and tanned, almost enough to put me on the turn" if you prefer.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:08, Reply)

hahahahaha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Bahahaha!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:03, Reply)

you beauty

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:04, Reply)

I felt my arteries twitch.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:03, Reply)

about 10 of them were some kind of swine related carcassy product. shudder.

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:04, Reply)

I'm trying to get Charms into vegetarianism.
She likes fake chicken and facon. My work is going well.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Is this to compensate for your fall from the same?
Thus restoring the net balance of vegetarians in the world?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:12, Reply)

I've kind of swung back.
In the sense I'm no longer buying and cooking meat. The replacement shit is lower in calories.

Obviously I will be stuffing my face with lamb on Saturday. I'm looking forward to it. Whose internet life should I ruin this time?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Ooh, there's a good question.
Obfuscated, of course, by the fact that I've only the vaguest idea of who's coming.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Hmm.
I think most people I know have their own little memes. I honestly thought the meme was that you were gay. Not that you were the person pointing them out.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Yes...I guess at least you've given me a meme.
Sadly it's not one about what a charming and witty individual one, but I guess buggers can't be choosers. And hey, it's preferable to being the local rapist.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:25, Reply)

dunno
at least rapists get laid regularly
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Reminds me of one of my favorite jokes.
I've been told that one women is raped every day.

Well she must be getting sick of it by now.

I realise this does nothing for my feminist leanings whatsoever.
( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:41, Reply)

a bit like
Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:44, Reply)

This also reminds me of a similar joke
Somewhere in the world a woman gives birth every 8 seconds.

We must find this woman and stop her.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Oh, the punnery.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:44, Reply)

~*nominates Lab*

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:20, Reply)

*frowns*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:43, Reply)

As long as it isn't me
get right on the ruining. I'm ruined already
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:38, Reply)

You're fetish, aren't you?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Um not so far as I know!

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:42, Reply)

I thought that was your meme.
Or maybe that was a shortlived one.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:45, Reply)

It must've been
since I don't really remember it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:46, Reply)

She IS fetish?
I am confuse.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:43, Reply)

why would you do that to someone?
meat is fucking boss.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:13, Reply)

She doesn't really eat much.
I do like red meat, though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

I bet you do my dear!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:29, Reply)

-licks lips-

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:45, Reply)

i've never tried them
as i hate meat, so therefore i hate meat substitutes. i wish i was less picky, i just had to turn down lunch because the vegetarian options were: red pesto, red pepper and tomato on tomato bread (tomatoes? yuck), greek feta cheese, cucumber, olive tapenade on olive bread (olives, yuck), cheddar and vegetable sweet pickle (sweet pickle, yuck).

i wouldn't mind but it's not as if my parents let me be a fussy child, i was forced to eat stuff even it made me heave. i don't have the same will-power now they are no longer feeding me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:13, Reply)

To be honest I'd probably only eat the middle one.
The chicken chunks are a nice way to beef up a meal, as it were.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Quorn mince is fine
It doesn't actually taste of anything.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

It's jazzed up no end by putting a vegetable stock cube or two in it when cooking.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:52, Reply)

See, it made me chuckle when my ex decided to become vegetarian
as she was an incredibly fussy eater where vegetables were concerned and had to overcome her dislike of vegetable based produce to make a success of her chosen path.

Fair play, she did.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:17, Reply)

I could give them a run for their money

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:04, Reply)

were they finger sandwiches?
or nomtastic monster sandwiches?
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:04, Reply)

somewhere in the middle
your average triangle, but quite well filled.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:06, Reply)

*inserts male crotch joke*

( girlinthehole, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:07, Reply)

a triangle can't be close to a nomtastic monster sandwich

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

If you mean those little triangular mini sandwiches I reckon I could do that easy.
Not that I would anymore but I could.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I'm not kidding
I could totally do that.
EDIT ^ Yeah, if you mean little triangular ones.
EDIT EDIT, right if it's quarter triangles, no problemo. It's only just under five slices of bread. GONE.
If it's half triangles, maybe a struggle, but I could manage it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 19 Jan 2011, 15:23, Reply)