i know
it really really sucks. hey, my day is going ok, stuck at work and really busy but i've got drinks tonight and the boy just texted and it's all good, then BAM. a massive floral message that basically says:

JUST IN CASE YOU HAD FORGOTTEN FOR ONE SECOND OF ONE MINUTE OF THE DAY, YOUR MOTHER DIED AND YOU'LL NEVER GET TO SEE HER OR HEAR HER VOICE OR SPOIL HER EVER EVER EVER AGAIN, HAHAHAHAHA.





sorry, got a bit wound up there! i just fucking hate them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:34, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That is really sad.
Sorry.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

No need to apologise
I'd like to say I completely understand but realistically I can't possibly. I'm really sorry that these things happen and that they make your day rubbish. If I knew anything about computers I'd try to filter such messages out. By sending an army of Cylons to kill the bastards.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

You can set up rules on nearly all email set ups
to move any email which contains the words "mothers day" to your spam mail folder.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)

interesting.....
would a yahoo account have that facility??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

yes

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

thanks!
will check this out, it really does ruin my day from about 15 feb to 20 march!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Even better
Move out of 1995 by getting a Gmail account.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:58, Reply)

i am not even going to pretend to understand this
is it a "LARPING" joke?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

No..
I'm saying Yahoo email is shit, and you should get a Gmail/Googlemail account.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Don't bother Labs
If it isn't pink she doesn't want to know.

That's why she loves vagina so much.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)

If it helps, it gets from numb to heart rippingly painful to "just plain sucks" eventually.
Donno what stage I'm at, it changes all the time, but when I went to see Dad's stone over the weekend (the first time I've been at a non-anerversary), he stopped haunting my dreams and I have been able to sleep again this week.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Oh man I really don't have any real problems.
I am such a cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

problems are all totally relative
until i lost my mum, the worst thing that had ever happened to me was not getting into oxford or failing my driving test the first time around, and they seemed insurmountable.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

This is very true, Monty.
The chances are, within reason, that the worst thing that has happened to you so far will provoke similar reactions and emotions no matter how bad it is, and people handle things differently. The human mind has an amazing ability to recover from emotional catastrophe over time. Thank fuck.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Ha!
You delusional twat.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)

BFF!

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Hello dahling.
I'm terribly bored.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:59, Reply)

I'm being very lazy
I don't really have a lot of work to do, so I'm deliberately not doing any.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

I have fucktons to do.
I am repressing my anxiety and forming a ball of defensive aggression that will no doubt burst forth on the tube later.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Excellent.
I hope you punch someone in the balls. Or shout at a tourist.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

No, that's not true.
Let's say you have a cold, and I have aids, it's not like me having aids is a cure for your cold and you'll no longer feel the effects of it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Plus what goes on behind closed doors and all that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

wise words from the lovely gonz here xx

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:28, Reply)

Jeez Swipey
Can't you just move on and get over it, it's not like it just happened.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

when we catch up at tayaabs or at the bash
and the memory of this makes me look at you and burst into inconsolable tears, you're going to feel like the massive insensitive lump of bastardness that you pretend to be...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Oh boy, I'm totally upset that you're taking me seriously here swipey.
But, if you were to get all tearful, I could do my best to console you and accidently grope you.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I KNOW!
Cheer her up by doing impressions of her zombie-mum in front of her.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Yeah!
Nothing cheers up the bereaved than receiving a crudely drawn picture of their loved one painted green and lusting after brains.

I for one was most upset that nobobdy sent me any in 2009 when several of my relatives carked it.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)

it is a sign that i have been on here too long
that this really made me laugh
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

It was less than a year after my mum died that Al 'entertained' me by doing this.
It was worth it though, because he forgot my brother was there. The look on his face after I said, 'Of course, you checked out how upset and angry my brother might be about that,' was lovely.
My brother is a b3tan - he wasn't bothered in the least.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

I still feel slightly guilty about that.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

You're lucky.
I told my Dad that story and then forgot to point you out to him at my birthday party.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

I did meet him
But clearly he didn't realise it was me who was the subject of that story.

Just as well or he might have used his bionic knee on my delicate area.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:08, Reply)

He only lives five minutes from the Eden Project.
I'm sure he won't mind driving around until he spots you.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

hey sexy lady

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Well hello!
How lovely to see you here.
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:20, Reply)

You too
I miss the good old days when you and lusty were here lots and we could be bitchy together.

*glees about next Thursdy*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Oh those glorious days of vitriol and abuse and boobs.
*glees also*
( thealternativefact, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:23, Reply)

I doubt we'll see b3ainglike that again
sad times
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

that you pretend to be inside your stained y-fronts
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)