nothing for me
this weekend will be epic and will involve far too much food and booze (and the rest) and i have a very very hot date that i need to look as hot as possible for in the not too distant future, so it's air and diet coke today...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:44, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

because every bloke loves a girl who faints from hunger on their date

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:46, Reply)

i'll just tell him it's because his cock is so massive
i couldn't take it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:47, Reply)

*ponders whether to be really mean*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:48, Reply)

go on
you haven't been mean to me for about 24 hours
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:49, Reply)

ok
you should make sure you tell him before he sees your vagina or he'll never believe you
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:51, Reply)

HAHAHA!
Ooof!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Oh well played there
*firm handshakes*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:54, Reply)

HA
it's funny because it's not true. tighter than a gnat's chuff, me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:54, Reply)

"like opening the window and fucking the night" is what I heard...

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:57, Reply)

You know that massive cyclone that battered queenslands northern coast
but fortunately didn't kill anyone?

That was what happens when Swipey sits down quickly and does a queef.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:59, Reply)

www.usmra.com/photos/bigpit/005.jpg
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:04, Reply)

*something about chips and the M1*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:59, Reply)

*Grand Canyon*

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:05, Reply)

*Sarlacc*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:11, Reply)

It's like the Enterprise entering a black hole, hahahaha
/posts from comics convention
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:12, Reply)

Wait, you mean
his cock will get sucked in and then crushed by massive gravitational forces? Are you sure you're not thinking of TGB here?
( Kroney, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Troo troo but needs more rotting fish
+ scampi
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:19, Reply)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:19, Reply)

String in a bucket

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:12, Reply)

Waaaahahahaha!
*falls off chair*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:16, Reply)

Have you never heard that one before?
Or have you simply exploded in sarcasm?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:18, Reply)

Nope - never.
Oh my sheltered life.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:27, Reply)

life accommodation
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:41, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:41, Reply)

Ha. great minds.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:49, Reply)

...swiftly followed by diabetic coma

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Nothing turns a man on more than a hollow-faced woman who keeps belching.
You're doing the right thing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:48, Reply)

i look soooooo much better than i did a few months ago
but i don't think i'll ever have a hollow face. not until i've been buried for 12 months anyway.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:49, Reply)

*tumesces*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:49, Reply)

You forgot the slight hint of vomit on her breath.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:51, Reply)

What will you do if your date wants to go out for dinner?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:02, Reply)

She'll make all the appearance of enjoying her food
and then nip to the lav directly afterwards for a spot of purging, of course.
( Kroney, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Ah.
The Diana Diet.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:16, Reply)