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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Lunch thread.I have banana flavourd slim-fast. Woo!
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girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:34,
204 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
Fooooooooood.Sandwich, chicken and bacon, second rate crap from Waitrose. Hula Hoops, cheese and onion, second only to the salt and vinegar ones which are great but really do fuck my tongue up. Shape yoghurt, strawberry. Water, tap, one litre.
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:37,
Reply)
You're drinking nonce juice.news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Slim-Fasts-Barry-Bethell-Found-Guilty-Of-Sexually-Assaulting-Young-Girl-After-Promising-Her-Fame/Article/200905115277220
Don't do it Blousie.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:37,
Reply)
I would never sexally assault anyone.*hears collective sigh of relief on B3ta*
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girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:43,
Reply)
I sent Slimfast a message a few years ago asking them where Barry was and if he'd kept the weight off.I didn't know he was a nonce then.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:33,
Reply)
Slimfast is meant to be quite bad for you, isn't it?I could be wrong. I have homemade carrot and coriander soup and a lemon curd cookie. Mmm, cookie.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:39, Reply)
I only have one at lunch time.Unless it's got plutonium in it I think I should be ok.
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girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:44,
Reply)
no, I meant they're full of sugar and yuckAgain, could be wrong, I might be thinking of something else. If you want a meal replacement diet, google cambridge diet. It's quite hardcore though.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:51, Reply)
have you seen those marks and sparks onesthere is a toffee and caramel mousse with milk chocolate or a lemon mousse with white chocolate on a crunchy biscuit base. they are like an orgasm in the mouth.
a 200 cal a pop orgasm, but soooooooo fit.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:46,
Reply)
you are so lardy that your ejaculate is more than 200kcal a dose(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:52,
Reply)
Nice!*fistbumps*
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:04,
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So they taste of spunk then?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:49,
Reply)
you two are ridiculousdon't diss the cookies of glory, it's blasphemy
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:50,
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Cookie Fight!You should both strip down to your bra and knickers and have a cookie off.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:03, Reply)
I would win the cookie off for sureA nork off, or probably an anything-else-off for that matter, I'd get my arse kicked.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:10, Reply)
I have just eatenpork pie, smoked cheese, pickled onions, Branston pickle and a packet of McCoys Flame Grilled Steak crips. Awesome!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:39,
Reply)
"McCoys Flame Grilled Steak Crips - A Little Bit Of Compton In A Bag"edit: Rats. Too slow.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:50, Reply)
a twixit is a Twix Xtra though. xtranoms
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:39,
Reply)
I'm defiantly the opposite of youso if you're straight, that must be true.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:46, Reply)
It's funny because houmous looks a bit like a badly-spelt version of the plural of homo and I was pretending to act all outraged./you
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:47, Reply)
I beg to differ(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:57,
Reply)
What you do is explain an unfunny joke because no-one laughedWhat I did there was explain a funny joke cos you didn't get it.
*pats on head*
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:01, Reply)
I had a hot roast pork, apple sauce and stuffing baguetteit was a masterpiece.
I need more food now though.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:44,
Reply)
ah well, I've lived a good life(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:48,
Reply)
That's called a clitorisforeign territory for you I imagine.
my first gay jibe, this is a defining moment
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:58,
Reply)
nothing for methis weekend will be epic and will involve far too much food and booze (and the rest) and i have a very very hot date that i need to look as hot as possible for in the not too distant future, so it's air and diet coke today...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:44,
Reply)
because every bloke loves a girl who faints from hunger on their date(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:46,
Reply)
i'll just tell him it's because his cock is so massivei couldn't take it
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:47,
Reply)
*ponders whether to be really mean*(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:48,
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go onyou haven't been mean to me for about 24 hours
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:49,
Reply)
okyou should make sure you tell him before he sees your vagina or he'll never believe you
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:51,
Reply)
HAit's funny because it's not true. tighter than a gnat's chuff, me.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:54,
Reply)
"like opening the window and fucking the night" is what I heard...(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:57,
Reply)
You know that massive cyclone that battered queenslands northern coastbut fortunately didn't kill anyone?
That was what happens when Swipey sits down quickly and does a queef.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:59, Reply)
www.usmra.com/photos/bigpit/005.jpg
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:04,
Reply)
*something about chips and the M1*(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:59,
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It's like the Enterprise entering a black hole, hahahaha/posts from comics convention
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:12,
Reply)
Wait, you meanhis cock will get sucked in and then crushed by massive gravitational forces? Are you sure you're not thinking of TGB here?
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Kroney, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:15,
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Troo troo but needs more rotting fish+ scampi
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:19,
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Have you never heard that one before?Or have you simply exploded in sarcasm?
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:18,
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...swiftly followed by diabetic coma(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:47,
Reply)
Nothing turns a man on more than a hollow-faced woman who keeps belching.You're doing the right thing.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:48,
Reply)
i look soooooo much better than i did a few months agobut i don't think i'll ever have a hollow face. not until i've been buried for 12 months anyway.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:49,
Reply)
What will you do if your date wants to go out for dinner?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:02,
Reply)
She'll make all the appearance of enjoying her foodand then nip to the lav directly afterwards for a spot of purging, of course.
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Kroney, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:05,
Reply)
I shall be eating cauliflower cheese,with some sunflower seed Ryvitas and smoked salmon pate on the side.
I changed the menu at the last minute from 'some 6p Chinese noodles and a bit of a cry'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:51,
Reply)
cauliflower cheeseis the finest non-meat meal
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:52,
Reply)
what are you talking about?cauliflower cheese has bacon in it
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:53,
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I agree this improves things immeasurably(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:02,
Reply)
Whilst unemployedI lived on these 5p noodles that came with a sachet of tears. Great on toast.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:03, Reply)
Some home made soup and couple of rolls for me!I have no idea what the soup is though, I didn't make it.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:55,
Reply)
Oasis soup?You gotta roll with it.
(National 'give an old joke a home week' - please give kindly.)
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:57, Reply)
You shouldnt!Leave at once
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:11,
Reply)
*looks around*Ok, here's my old joke -
My favourite curry is a chicken tarka, it's like a tikka, bu-aarrrgh!
*falls to ground dead*
Noel, you utter bastard
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:22,
Reply)
*stabs repeatedly in the spleen*(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:31,
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Curried rice and chicken yakatori <3<3<3 farringdon.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:57,
Reply)
I know they're meant to be heartsbut whenever you do those little things there, to my puerile mind they look like 'fart' icons. The fact that they are always in a food context does little to help.
Thus I read the post above as 'I'm having curried rice and chicken yakatori and afterwards will walk around Farringdon guffing like a camel'.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:04,
Reply)
I've not seen those symbols in this light beforeand now that you've pointed it out, I'm not going to be able to stop.
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Kroney, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:11,
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Good stuff.Now I have a friend to share my wry lolz with.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:12,
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I'd always thought they were supposed to be a nutsack(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:14,
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You see nutsacks wherever you go.Literally.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:17,
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Does he have rings on his fingers and bells on his toes?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 14:06,
Reply)
That made me laugh far more than it should haveI think I may have given myself internal injuries from trying to suppress audible laughter.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:37, Reply)
Smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwich, with granary bread.(
Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:02,
Reply)
I prefer smoked salmon without cream cheesebutter, lemon juice and black pepper is the way
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:07,
Reply)
These things, but with cream cheese as well, for me.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:10,
Reply)
That is also lovelyI'll suggest it to the coffee lounge lady.
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:12,
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I had a rather nice sandwich earliermade for me by her indoors. I could get used to having a woman around, I think. Certainly beats buying them from shops.
Sandwiches, I mean. Not women. I buy my women from Eastern Europeans, like everybody else.
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Kroney, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:03,
Reply)
have a rhyme for Valentine's DayRoses are sick,
Violets are twisted,
bend over love,
you're about to get fisted.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:05,
Reply)
-4/10 See Me.This time I'm going to have to call your parents in, boy. At this rate you'll NEVER make it to secondary school.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:08,
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aww man*scuffs ground with tattered boot*
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:09,
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AND TAKE YOUR HANDS OUT OF YOUR POCKETS.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:09,
Reply)
Roses are redViolets are blue
We ran out of lube
It hurts when I poo
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Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:15,
Reply)
CFB
I also like:
Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties
Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name
I've got OCD
And my poetry skills are also lacking.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:16,
Reply)
Roses are red,Violets are blue,
My guts are quite dicy -
*PARPftptpt* Oh, I've just followed through.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:33, Reply)
I thought better of you, Brian.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:39,
Reply)
Can't think why.Alright, how's this for a less scatalogical one then.
Roses are reddish,
Violets are blue-green,
Protanopia means these
Are the hues I be seein'.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)
The good thing about that oneis it's forced me look up protanopia and I have therefore learnt something today. Witty and educational.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:49, Reply)
I likeRoses are red,
Violets are blue,
Get in the van,
I've got a knife.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:38, Reply)
(no offence, Hebrews)
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:40,
Reply)
Bukkake party variantRoses are red,
Violets are blue,
Shortly you'll be covered
In salty man-goo
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:47, Reply)
THRILLING UPDATE:Cauliflower cheese + Encona West Indian hot pepper sauce = MECHA-NOMZ.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:27,
Reply)
It's still going to be shit.Cauliflower cheese is one of the most boring foods there is.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:27,
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It's great on cheese on toast.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:38,
Reply)
I made some cheese on toast with that Mexicana cheeseI can recommend this too, fellow cheese-on-toasters
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:39,
Reply)
A layer of one of these under the cheese is fucking amazing:www.thepickleman.co.uk/index.php?option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=75
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:44,
Reply)
The chap has a stall at my local farmer's marketThe sauces are lined up in order of heat - I have to say the 'hot tomato sauce' one is quite hot enough - the others are frankly insane, and I am a big chili man.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:46,
Reply)
I fucking love that sauce, a couple of spoonfuls in a macaroni cheese is enough to get my adrenaline going.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:32,
Reply)
You need to see my link above, then ^(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:47,
Reply)
Pasta with my homemade tomato sauce, courgettes and green peppersand a bit of Quorn mince
My boss just told me I've visibly lost weight, but I'm having curry and booze tonight and three course dinner tomorrow.
Ah well, nice while it lasted.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:29,
Reply)
I'm going for curry on Sunday but I'm going to try and pick the least fattening thing on the menu.Have plain rice etc
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girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:33,
Reply)
My mate's making it so I've no idea how much sugar and fat will be in there.Home made is deffo less fattening than takeaway though.
I'd rather she made me a vegetarian one but as I'm not a vegetarian I wouldn't be as rude as to ask.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:36,
Reply)
Just try and have a bit less then.I'm going to try soooooo hard to not have any poppodoms. I suspect I will fail. I fucking love poppodoms and all the relishes.
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girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:38,
Reply)
Oh lord I know, I love dipping the naan inBut I'll just have to have a bit less of everything, instead of going "I'M OFF THE DIET NOW SO I MAY AS WELL EAT YOU ALL!"
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:40,
Reply)
When I run out of poppadoms I get a spoon and eat the relishes straight out of the little bowls.I love curry. And relishes, evidently.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:43, Reply)
Screw the spoon, get in there with your tongue.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:48,
Reply)
When I run out of poppadoms I get some more fucking poppadoms.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:54,
Reply)
Pretty much.I don't think I'll ever stop, it's like a curse. Under eleven stone now though so doing well in my quest to turn 2D.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:40, Reply)
I think the last time I was eleven stone I was six years old.May be a slight exaggeration.
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girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:41,
Reply)
One of my bollocks weighs eleven stone.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:51,
Reply)
You are smaller than me but not twee(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:46,
Reply)
You shouldn't be looking to lose much more weight then.Just tone up if you're trying to be healthy.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:48, Reply)
His kidneys and liver will shut down before that, or he'll get scurvyUnderweight is not healthy, othewise it wouldn't be called underweight.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:53, Reply)
Goals that will only ever be achieved if certain theoretical physics are proven to be correctand he flies into the event horizon of a black hole.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:58, Reply)
we can only hope...(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 14:04,
Reply)
I don't think ten stone is that unhealthy.I eat practically non stop, I just take into careful consideration what I shove into my fat gob.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:57, Reply)
it's within the normal BMI rangenot that means much.
I'd look like a big gangly rake if I weighed 10 stone.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 14:05,
Reply)
indeed it isalthough as mine is in the normal range after years of it not being I feel a little warmer towards it.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 14:10,
Reply)
Blimey O'RileyMy boss just weighed me, and it looks like I've lost another 3lb.
That was with a bit more walking but no proper exercise, just eating healthier.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:44,
Reply)
I knows!The more accurate thing is to wait for my official weigh-in at my mum and dad's on Sunday. They're the scales I've been using.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:48,
Reply)
You don't need to exercise to lose weight, it's a myth.Which I was delighted to learn seeing as I haven't done any for about four years and had/have no intention of starting.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:50, Reply)
I never exercised when I was anorexic.Apart from a bit of dancing once a week.
Got down to just over 6st on Blue Ribands and Tesco crisps.
That was soooo long ago though. Now my metabolism needs a bit more help. Walking to town will do. And maybe the exercise bike once a week, while Gypsy Wedding is on.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:55,
Reply)
I partly exercise to stop me from sitting at home, bored and eating crap.The other part is to tone up and keep fit.
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girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:57,
Reply)
I might start toning up at some pointMaybe.
After Lent.
Christmas.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:58,
Reply)
Trouble is it's only my legs that are toned up.The rest of me looks like a bag of spuds.
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girlinthehole, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 14:00,
Reply)
I'm a bit like thattoned legs, sack of spuds body, skinny upper arms, toned forearms
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 14:01,
Reply)
I think the most toned bit of me is my boobsNow that ain't right.
I'm squishy.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 14:03,
Reply)
it helps with being healthy though(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:57,
Reply)
A hot cross bun, a can of cherry cokeand a hangover.
aaaannnnnd painfully slow internets :(
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wanderlust, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:41,
Reply)
Good choice, I was all over that diet cherry coke on Monday, massive burps.How's you? Apart from the hangover?
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Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:43,
Reply)
I'm alright.I should really be getting on a being productive, but feel a bit meh.
How's your lovely face?
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wanderlust, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:45,
Reply)
Spot-on thanks babe, pretty fucking good actually.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:47,
Reply)
are you still not telling us why though?Is it because the police blamed that murder on that other guy? guiltylolz
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:55,
Reply)
it's because he is an insufferable cunt(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:58,
Reply)
Heheh you knows it.(
Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 14:08,
Reply)
This is the second time someone has told me about hot cross buns today.(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)
My friend was asking me"what it means if a guy texts her after a date saying he's got home safe and is eating a hot cross bun????"
I told her to stop being mental.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:51, Reply)
that means all the time he was with her he was really thinking about buns.also he was hungry, she should have picked up on this and made him a sandwich or something.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:56, Reply)
I am a big believer in lawns with crosses on them.Burning ones. In the middle of the night.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:52,
Reply)
That combo will sort your hangover RIGHT out.Well, not the internet bit.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:45,
Reply)
HEY SEXY LADY!I was talking about you earlier
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:46,
Reply)
Nothing mean I hope.I'm looking forward to seeing your magic eyes next week!
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wanderlust, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:54,
Reply)
of course nothing mean!I actually like you.
AND YAY! I am so excited I may explode
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TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 14:06,
Reply)
Please don't explode until I'm there.I want to rub a bit of that sexy badger flesh on my face.
Yeah.
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wanderlust, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 14:20,
Reply)
Ham salad cob and worcester sauce flavoured french fries (only 96 calories a pack)I debated bringing in some leftover chili from last night but since I had a sausage and egg bap for elevenses and am eating out tonight I figured it'd be one hot meal too many. I'm funny like that.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 13:56,
Reply)
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