one man's romance is another man's stalky slush
you really have to know your audience i reckon.

the worst thing i did was to get the address of the teacher i really fancied (he banked at natwest. i had a holiday job there. i am not proud of this. although i was at the time.) and send him a val card and a book of poetry. someone asked him in the lesson if he had received any cards and he told us all about it, saying it was years since he'd had a mystery card and he had no idea who it was from... how my friends and i did not laugh or go red remains a mystery to this day.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:06, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Excellent work there
Not something I can easily replicate and claim as my own romantic gesture, however
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:08, Reply)

i've fancied quite a few men in my time
but nothing can compare to the heart thumping burning all consuming crushes you have in your teens. god that was fun.

now it's all "he makes me come like a train but can he pay the mortgage" or "i wonder if my dad will like him or terrify him" or "i wonder if he's fertile or sterile" or "he really is too old to be quite this monumentally shit in the sack"...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Me;
- like a train - once every few hours, but never at the time you'd like, and no (less "can't", more "won't")
- both
- no idea, EU restrictions prevent me from breeding
- I know, I know. Give me a minute and I'll try again
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:26, Reply)

you have a girlfriend
therefore you are off my list. but otherwise, nice try.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Yeah, THAT's why I'm off your list

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:39, Reply)

rachelswipe: Proven more stalkery than me.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:09, Reply)

i'm not a judge
but i'm the closest thing to one on here, and i say that the evidence against this statement is overwhelming
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:12, Reply)

The equivilent would be me looking through someones medical records to find their address.
Which is deeply creepy and highly illegal.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:13, Reply)

nooooo it wasn't like that
i was the office work experience gimp, i didn't have access to any records! i was just asked to stuff envelopes with flyers for customers, i knew which part of stockport he lived in because he had told us, he had an unusual surname, and when i saw that he was on the list, i just memorised it.

that is NOT the same as going onto the computer with the deliberate intention of looking up someone's medical and address history, you remain substantially creepier than i am.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:16, Reply)

The fact that you have said teacher's facebook page open in another tab at this very moment
gives the lie to that statement.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:12, Reply)

nah
now i know he likes teh cock i have finally gotten over him.

15 years later.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Does this explain the shitty-twat comment from earlier?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:18, Reply)

That was a reply to Chompy, you oaf.
You have RUINED my point with your up-to-date knowledge of his sexual proclivities.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:21, Reply)

in my defence nobody ever replies to psychochomp, therefore i was not expecting it
and secondly, like the proclivities would stop the stalking.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 14:23, Reply)