You scientists have all the fun.
I ended up not going to my lecture today- got a text from Charms at the end of it saying "We spent the first 5 minutes brainstorming words for cock and minge". Gut-ted.

All my degree has taught me about suicide is that hemlock's not a bad way to go (false) and if you slit your veins then tie them up again and let them loose, you can continue doing that for about a day before you finally bleed out.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:22, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Yeah, you see I've never a lecture/meeting/seminar
in which I've been invited to come up with genital euphemisms (I often extend this invitation to my colleagues over lunch or coffee, but it tends to fall on stony ground...)

To be fair, when I was taught about the risks of working with liquid nitrogen, it did mean I went from being impressed by the large dewar in the lab to being terrified lest I knock the thing and it explode. Bloody health and safety...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:25, Reply)

Like your seed, you colossal onanist.*
Off the top of my head I can think of: pudenda, cunnus, mentula and penis. Having a look at my dictionary there is also columna, which can be a pillar of fire, too. If your dick's a pillar of fire, you ought to get that looked at.

Mentally I get liquid nitrogen and dry ice mixed up. They both let off large white clouds. I just can't remember if sublimation is gas into solid or solid into gas. Hmm.
/GCSE science was ever so long ago, and it was only dual award.


*Arse, getting my biblical references mixed up. It's the Parable of the Sower who has seed fall on stony ground.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:31, Reply)

Have you had an episode this evening?
That's the only explanation I can think of for this.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:38, Reply)

Hmm?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:39, Reply)

*onanises colossally*
So I take it the lecturer wasn't after more "contemporary" suggestions, such as spam javelin, clopper, diamond-cutter or billy-goat's chin?

Dry ice sublimes into a white cloud. I'm sure the opposite process has its own name but I can't remember for the life of me what it is.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:38, Reply)

Ah, so sublimation is solid into gas without the liquid stage.
Actually, you might be able to help, you seem to have a good knowledge of amusing sexual phrases. In the same lecture, we were trying to work out a word for a man who can't get it up. No one could come up with a decent one, and it's rather annoying trying to render it in translation.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:41, Reply)

*bites hands so as not to name names*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:42, Reply)

Tsk tsk, you.
Do you have any ideas?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:43, Reply)

you mean an impotent word play?
or can it be crude? i mean, i'm not going to lie to you, the first word that springs to mind (pun intended) is simply POINTLESS.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:46, Reply)

Hahahaha that is rather good!
Yes, be rude as possible. One poem we're studing goes along the lines of "I'll fuck you in the face then I'll fuck you in the arse, you fucking cunt"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:48, Reply)

Sylvia Plath, eat your heart out...

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:49, Reply)

Multus homo est, Corve, neque tecum multus homo est qui
descendit: Corve, multus es et pathicus.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:55, Reply)

*googles for translation*
Oh, it's that passage*.

*_{Insert "that's what she said" style joke as appropriate}
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:01, Reply)

shades of latin a-level
there was one about "it made no difference whether you kissed his arse or his mouth, the one being no dirtier and the other no cleaner". catullus maybe??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:52, Reply)

Catullus 93.
A personal favourite. "If any woman were to go with him, we might think her capable of rimming a diseased hangman"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:53, Reply)

i still say i've done worse

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:00, Reply)

Than rimming a diseased hangman?
Musky.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:00, Reply)

ok i will rephrase
i would rather have the memory of rimming a diseased hangman than some of my sexual experiences. less pain, more gain.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:03, Reply)

Hmm.
I kind of see where you're coming from
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:05, Reply)

which is a damn sight more than he did!!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:12, Reply)

Hmmm....
I must admit, I've had to consult recent editions of the Profanisaurus for inspiration and even then have come away lacking. I'll have to get back to you on this one.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:46, Reply)

Deposition.
That's what it's called.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:48, Reply)

Are we talking about the opposite process to sublimation
Or a politer way to describe tipping one's filthy concrete?
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:49, Reply)

Opposite of sublimation.
I'd be alarmed if there were either gas or solids coming out of someone's cock.

Ah, this is science stirring in my mind- you can get solids suspended in liquids that have a particular name (emulsion? sol?) Is semen a liquid? Hmm.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:52, Reply)

Semen is a suspension, I think
Because the spermatozoa don't properly dissolve in the main fluid medium. I seem to remember that bollock ballast contained one or two other components as well - one of them may have been a sugar solution that fed the cells so I can only presume the other one is "that pre-cum thing."
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:56, Reply)

From googling half-remembered things, I was right in thinking sol was solids suspended in liquid.
That pre-cum thing. What would a man's cock be without it? Spakka's, I guess.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 22:58, Reply)

It would seem more appropriate if semen were an emulsion
It would make such phrases as "...like a painter's radio" even more apt.

Right, I really should get some sleep. 'night all.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:03, Reply)

Good night!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:04, Reply)