I think I've broken myself.
I've eaten an entire box of bran flakes in less than an hour. Plus with the emotional turmoil of getting shot down by a girl earlier in the evening, this has been a bad day.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:06, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You're going to be shitting very, very soon.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:07, Reply)

again
suave
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:08, Reply)

I know.
Surprising, isn't it?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:09, Reply)

no

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:10, Reply)

Oh Swipe, you are feeling puckish and dare I say it, obstreperous this evening, aren't you?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:10, Reply)

it's monday
get used to it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:11, Reply)

I could never get used to you.
Every day would be marvellous and new, finding out new and dazzling aspects of your personality every day, from that cute smile you do when you wrap guys around your little finger, to the way your eyes shine when you laugh.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:12, Reply)

this is almost suave
almost
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:16, Reply)

Not suave, just honest.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:17, Reply)

Well
honest quite worrying
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:59, Reply)

I meant it sincerely.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 0:01, Reply)

I'm sure it was sincere
it was just rather creepy and generic. Unless you've seen her in both those situations I guess
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 0:06, Reply)

Oh dear.
Not so suave after all then.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 0:15, Reply)

I hope your flat has more than one toilet.
How badly did you get shot down by this girl?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:08, Reply)

I did the same thing the night before going to Turin for the Juventus game, had to eat an entire box of imodium in the airport - didn't poo for about six days.
Reasonably badly, I've liked her for ages and told her I missed her (we used to live together) and should go out somewhere together soon. She said no.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:11, Reply)

Sorry mate.
Why would she say 'no' though? Unless you were wanking as you asked her, surely she'd want to catch up with an old flatmate?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:14, Reply)

he stole money out of her purse.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:17, Reply)

He wiped his cock on the curtains.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:18, Reply)

he 'borrowed' her dildo.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:20, Reply)

That would explain the bran flake addiction.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:21, Reply)

He borrowed her DVD boxset of Friends and didn't give it back.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:21, Reply)

I have no idea.
I'm a catch me (according to her!), and she's made no secret of the fact she thinks I'm a good looking young gent so I thought I'd go for it. What a misleading slag. I'm probably just a horrible, horrible person.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:46, Reply)

Can't you just steal her heart?
(It might help if you imagine her heart as being some sort of food stuffs from the local supermarket)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:48, Reply)

*draws up plans*

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:53, Reply)

I'm onto something here aren't I?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Feb 2011, 23:56, Reply)