I believe I can offer a similar service at a significant discount.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:29, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Much better service, too.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Yeah, none of this chest-pain fatality bollocks, it's a hammer to the back of the head all the way.
I really don't understand how her friends could talk her into flying to the states for "surgery" - surely you say "Want a fatter arse? Here's a cake."

Re: Your sig. Seeing as you can't spell punching without "chin" either, can we assume Lab is next on the list?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Of course I would visit you but having largely distended buttocks is detrimental to getting Monty's pathetic member all the way into my arse.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

If we position Schteve just behind Monty, rendering him "Lucky Pierre"*,
I'm sure he'll be jackhammered in up to the nuts.

*we need a more Teutonic term for this or Monty will refuse on principle.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Fortunate Fritz

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:35, Reply)

+l
We'll have to do it in a basement though.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Lucky Prinzenkopf?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Zwischenmensch?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Gluckeselfuhrer.
Nicely, though.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Google says "que?"

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)

it translates as cake-fucker

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Because I can't be bothered with accents, probably.
I was going for "lucky arse-master".
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)

I suggest that
he's the Brücke* fuck


*German for bridge
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:37, Reply)

I can't be bothered with umlauts.
I approve of this on linguistic grounds but this is b3ta woman, where's the crudity?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I thought it spoke rather nicely for itself
plus it rhymes, at least on paper
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)

ze Hun in ze Bun

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I am so hurt*


*not as much as you will be the next time I see you
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I'm still hurting from last time.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

You should write a comment
"Any ladies who want to get their arses filled and die in a cheap hotel room should give me a call"

I want to see the responses.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:33, Reply)

I'm tempted but I'm not sure I can bring myself to sign up to The Sun...

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

see date
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

It was Lab who suggested it. He better watch his fuzzy head.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Woah woah woah.
You promised not to punch me!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:37, Reply)

I think we're going to have a cancer off.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Wait what, Lampers gives you cancer too?
Shit, I must only have weeks left.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Hope so.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Hey, I punched you like 6 months ago.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Did he have his long hair then?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:46, Reply)

No, he has always had short hair when I've met him

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)

*fears the Retroactive Cancer Punch*

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Didn't say anything about slapping.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)

*frowns*
No gin for you then.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:46, Reply)

I had an amusing gin related episode on Saturday
involving The Whiskey Exchange, no clue what I was talking about and several bemused workers.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)

I wrote the Favourite Things poem
in notepad and left it in the background. Just realised someone glanced over my shoulder and read it. Anal Fisting volumes 1-3. Oops
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)

WHOOPS

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)

HOLLERS

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

YEAH
OK OK

WHAT
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

oh wow
"punching" is an anagram of "gin punch"

Someone should make gin punch.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I thought you already did?

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

You were the only person at that table who I hadn't punched
apart from the ladies, and they're exempt.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Which table?
If it was Tayyab's, you were sat opposite me...*fears*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I had the best seat that night

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:15, Reply)

How so?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Opposite Lusty, Monty and Charmander
and Gonz and Lampito near
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Yeah but Chompy was on your table too, it wasn't all win.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I was basically sitting on montys lap.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

+ and wriggling

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

and singing "You can get this lapdance here for free"

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Ah, it's like that phrase
A festering cat turd between two roses.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

:(
I am what I am
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I meant Monty, you silly girl

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Terrible bullying, there.
Terrible because you weren't clear enough that Monty is a shit.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Not Tayyab's.
A quiet catchup drink ballooned out of control. I got incredibly drunk and hit Monty. Again.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:20, Reply)

He probably deserved it

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)