I'm going to post a news link whenever a post gets over 100 replies
I'll also make a really witty remark about the news story.

Example:
I like big butts and I went and died

www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3401008/British-woman-20-dies-in-US-buttock-op-tragedy.html?OTC-RSS&ATTR=News
(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:26, 114 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Right well, we've got the link, just waiting for the really witty comment.
Yes, people in glass houses and all that....
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

It was a play on words based on the popular hip hop tune "Baby Got Back"

(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Hahah "hip-hop" "tune".
Fine work.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

I believe I can offer a similar service at a significant discount.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Much better service, too.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Yeah, none of this chest-pain fatality bollocks, it's a hammer to the back of the head all the way.
I really don't understand how her friends could talk her into flying to the states for "surgery" - surely you say "Want a fatter arse? Here's a cake."

Re: Your sig. Seeing as you can't spell punching without "chin" either, can we assume Lab is next on the list?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Of course I would visit you but having largely distended buttocks is detrimental to getting Monty's pathetic member all the way into my arse.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

If we position Schteve just behind Monty, rendering him "Lucky Pierre"*,
I'm sure he'll be jackhammered in up to the nuts.

*we need a more Teutonic term for this or Monty will refuse on principle.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Fortunate Fritz

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:35, Reply)

+l
We'll have to do it in a basement though.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Lucky Prinzenkopf?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Zwischenmensch?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Gluckeselfuhrer.
Nicely, though.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

Google says "que?"

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)

it translates as cake-fucker

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Because I can't be bothered with accents, probably.
I was going for "lucky arse-master".
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)

I suggest that
he's the Brücke* fuck


*German for bridge
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:37, Reply)

I can't be bothered with umlauts.
I approve of this on linguistic grounds but this is b3ta woman, where's the crudity?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I thought it spoke rather nicely for itself
plus it rhymes, at least on paper
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)

ze Hun in ze Bun

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I am so hurt*


*not as much as you will be the next time I see you
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I'm still hurting from last time.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

You should write a comment
"Any ladies who want to get their arses filled and die in a cheap hotel room should give me a call"

I want to see the responses.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:33, Reply)

I'm tempted but I'm not sure I can bring myself to sign up to The Sun...

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

see date
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

It was Lab who suggested it. He better watch his fuzzy head.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Woah woah woah.
You promised not to punch me!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:37, Reply)

I think we're going to have a cancer off.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

Wait what, Lampers gives you cancer too?
Shit, I must only have weeks left.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Hope so.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Hey, I punched you like 6 months ago.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Did he have his long hair then?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:46, Reply)

No, he has always had short hair when I've met him

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)

*fears the Retroactive Cancer Punch*

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Didn't say anything about slapping.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)

*frowns*
No gin for you then.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:46, Reply)

I had an amusing gin related episode on Saturday
involving The Whiskey Exchange, no clue what I was talking about and several bemused workers.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)

I wrote the Favourite Things poem
in notepad and left it in the background. Just realised someone glanced over my shoulder and read it. Anal Fisting volumes 1-3. Oops
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)

WHOOPS

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)

HOLLERS

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

YEAH
OK OK

WHAT
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

oh wow
"punching" is an anagram of "gin punch"

Someone should make gin punch.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)

I thought you already did?

(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

You were the only person at that table who I hadn't punched
apart from the ladies, and they're exempt.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Which table?
If it was Tayyab's, you were sat opposite me...*fears*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I had the best seat that night

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:15, Reply)

How so?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Opposite Lusty, Monty and Charmander
and Gonz and Lampito near
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Yeah but Chompy was on your table too, it wasn't all win.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I was basically sitting on montys lap.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

+ and wriggling

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

and singing "You can get this lapdance here for free"

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Ah, it's like that phrase
A festering cat turd between two roses.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

:(
I am what I am
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I meant Monty, you silly girl

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Terrible bullying, there.
Terrible because you weren't clear enough that Monty is a shit.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Not Tayyab's.
A quiet catchup drink ballooned out of control. I got incredibly drunk and hit Monty. Again.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:20, Reply)

He probably deserved it

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

If people like big butts so much I suggest they move to Camborne in Cornwall
Worked on most of the women here.
( Peej, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Or they could just eat more

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

wouldn't it be great if your body worked this way
"i'm going to store this fat on my bum to make it curvy and sexy" and then 2 days later "i'm going to exercise here and make this bit flatter and more toned".

instead of the reality which is your body going "i know you have skinny arms and legs and bum and hate the bit in the middle, but so what, i'm still going to pile all the fat HERE and then when you diet take more weight off THIS BIT HERE and ignore the gigantic roll of lard around your WAIST."

gah. you should also be able to control when you sleep, by making yourself fall asleep and making yourself wake up. i could have designed a much better human body than the real thing. except bradley cooper. i couldn't improve on his....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:53, Reply)

I wish I had complete control of my body like that
But I really wish I could eat what I like and make other people fat while I remain thin. Projective Plumping, if you will.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)

I wish it worked like that
especially for my legs. Though I'm not sure where I'd put the weight I abstracted from there
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)

i think any fat that was on my legs
has just migrated to my boobs. i am in serious danger of falling over these days.

i am telling you, the human body is a stupid design!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

It would be nice if my usual exercise regime generated muscle in places other than my right forearm.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Tee hee

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:41, Reply)

it's taken 7 years
but this threat might be the final straw that sees me kill off rachelswipe and commit b3tasuicide.

you win, well done.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Hurrah!
No more ill informed opinions about tax and hairstyles!
(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:52, Reply)

ha
like you wouldn't miss me so much that you crawled into the black hole that it created in your otherwise sad little life and died.

also, tax is one thing, but how DARE you say i am ill-informed about hair??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)

The evidence is clear Swipey, the evidence is very clear

(Bazongaloid, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)

hahahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

i don't know whether to cry
or be flattered that you 'shopped me.

also it's not a million miles from the truth this morning, if i leave my hair wet after a morning gym session, it does dry a bit like that...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Oof!

( girlinthehole, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

I'm still here for politilolz

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)

Coincidentally
this thread might be the final straw that sees me kill off everyone I work with, ending up in a siege situation, only to be shot and killed by police marksmen following an 8-hour standoff. That's how shit this thread is.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)

It's the only way to go out
Much better than the inevitable cirrhois of the liver
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)

the irony there
is that you would doubtless end up in the news.

and psychochomp would then doubtless post a link about it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)

But only when the previous thread had reached EXACTLY 100 posts.
How I look forward to the 'witty comment' that he'll add.

*Yawns*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)

to be fair
sometimes he can be very funny on here.

especially when he is logged out...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

That was a waste.
We've only got 39 more posts before the new link gets posted.

Eek! Even less now.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

FEWER
FEWER
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

So you've cheered up then?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Had a good sleep
Am starving hungry, which is an excellent sign.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

How can starving hungry be a good sign?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)

When I get too bad I don't eat.
Lack of appetite.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

What a con
please text before this happens
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)

I'll tidy the storm drain if you want to pop round.
Haven't had any visitors for a while.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Aalreet! I'll bring the dressing gowns.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)

They'll send in Schteve to negoschiate.
Yeah, I just wanted to type negoschiate.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

'Schtop or my colleaguesh will schoot'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Schtop or I'LL schoot. And it'll glue your eyesh schut.
It'sh very vischcoush.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Oh god, best porn remake title ever:
Schteven Schtallione in "Schtop or my mom will schquirt!"
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Seriously. I love you so much.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

You get a click for 'vischcoush'

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Dutch is now my favourite accent.
I don't see myself getting bored of this any time soon, sorry Monty.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Itsch fine. Me and der guysch all laugh about it too.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I don't have YouTube access at work
But have a search for the footage of former England manager Steve McLaren giving an interview for a Dutch TV channel. He's managing a Dutch team these days so he conducts the entire interview in English but with a Dutch accent. It's inadvertently hilarious - even if you're not into football.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

That is a brilliant clip. The man is clearly a mental.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)

And rightly scho.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)

no no
posh english, that's where it's at. or possibly deep southern american.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)

It's all about Dutch Schteve for Monty
He can make Monty wail like a cat in heat.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

*Phones Gazza*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:03, Reply)

10 more replies to go.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Anything

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

to

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

end

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

this

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

terrible

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:22, Reply)

thread

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:22, Reply)

!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:22, Reply)

*Adds extra reply, in the hope that some kittens get drowned*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

this is 106 i think
so lies on the internet then.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Who'd have thunk it?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Husch.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 11:22, Reply)