Football isn't about football.
It's about meeting your mates in the pub and getting off your face. Half the time I don't make it into the ground, it's the worst part of the day.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:04, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

you can do that quite happily without football you know
and it's far more enjoyable because you remove the tedium of having to talk about football
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I can do that without any sport being involved
That's another thing, pubs that put the football on can all burn to the ground 'n' all.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I manage to regularly achieve this without football even entering my mind.

EDIT right on, chaps
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:06, Reply)

split infinitive?
monty, you're slipping. you'll be saying "thats the joke" before we know it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:09, Reply)

I am so angry at the moment that my English is suffering.
Sorry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Ah but I don't see the people I've gotten to know through Fulham at any other time.
We all live in different parts of London and are far too unorganised to sort any thing off our own backs.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:10, Reply)

You met them through football
Therefore your life would be immeasurably better if you'd never met them at all.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:11, Reply)

you'd never met them at all they'd never beeen born
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Don't talk such utter crap
you don't like football yes I get it, it doesn't mean you're better than anyone who does.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Yes it does

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:14, Reply)

No it doesn't
Labs, don't make me side with Chompy against you. It feels dirty, and not in the good way. On this occasion you leave me no choice, so utterly wrong are you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:17, Reply)

You make your bed, you lie in it
Just don't complain about blackouts, memory loss and a burning sensation 'down there'.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Oh please
You won't touch the sides
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:21, Reply)

I wasn't talking about me

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:22, Reply)

You're a big man, but you're in bad shape
With me it's a full-time job. Now behave yourself.

(I was saving this for Vippers cos I know he's taller than me but couldn't resist. Apologies if you're shorter than 5'11". Not mocking your height)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:30, Reply)

I'm 5'10"
But 6'4" with my hair up.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:31, Reply)

In which case my quote stands
However, if you can tell me which film it's from I shall spare you the ass-whupping you've talked yourself into
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Get Carter (seeing as you're being ignored by Lab)
The line was said by Micky Caine to Alf Roberts from Corrie.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:48, Reply)

Correct
I will now not kick your ass
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:51, Reply)

You're just begging for the strikethroughs now, aren't you?
You dirty boy.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:53, Reply)

you're 5'11"?
I didn't know they stacked shit that high!

/gunnery sergeant hartman
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Very well done, sir

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:39, Reply)

No it doesn't. Now if the anti football lot
can stop having such a hissy fit on a par with the ones you complain about on field we can get back to talking about something more interesting.
Like mould, or how we drink our tea.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Haha!
Whilst I admit the whole Apple Fanboy vs Anti-Apple Fanboy rantings are boring as fuck, I do like to go off on one about football. I never said I wasn't a hypocrite.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:20, Reply)

or indeed what constitutes "something more interesting"
as i don't think you'll find mould or tea under any definition.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:24, Reply)

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:25, Reply)

argh stop it stop it stop it
the lousy grammar is far and away the most offensive thing you've ever posted on here!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 15:32, Reply)