Maybe they were gassing so much they didn't check their phones.
And after how long did he text?
If it was when she was only ten minutes late and I were her, I'd have then deliberately sat in the car another twenty just so he stopped his nancy pants sleeping-with-the-enemy stalking of everyone in the car.
He wasn't worried, he was taking umbrage.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:03, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I was worried, actually
I never suspect her of shagging anyone else but I do fret that she's been horribly murdered when she's late, because she's generally like clockwork. And she knows this, which is why she apologised.

I did take umbrage when it turned out that my worry could have been averted by a quick text
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

She's like clockwork because you beat her at 7.01pm every night.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Me? Hit someone?
Really?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Yes.
You beat her with her own shoes!
(I've no idea where this is going.)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Does using your own shoes make it worse?
Even if hers are dainty ballet pumps and his are whacking great workboots? Is that why hitting your wife with an iron is so frowned upon?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:24, Reply)

As if I don't also have Ballet shoes

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:30, Reply)

I wasn't talking about your case specifically, you mincing tart.
It was a general enquiry.

Would Saddam Hussein's statue have been more upset if that old fella had beat it with its own slipper?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I can assure you that is the last thing I would beat her with
Her vengeance would be twice as terrible if I damaged any of her shoes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:26, Reply)

Half an hour late for a meal is extremely rude.
What if he'd cooked a souffle? The fucker would have been in the bin.

Late = rude.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Whilst this is a good point,
the idea that I'd have the first fucking clue how to make a souffle is nothing short of hilarious.

In Ms Foxtrot's defence, two weeks ago I aimed to have dinner ready for when she got back from teaching and got the timing spectacularly wrong. Although on that occasion she didn't know I was cooking
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:11, Reply)

the fact that she knew you were cooking a special meal makes it even worse

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:13, Reply)

She didn't know it'd be SPECIAL
That ambition of my cooking was a last-minute thing
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)

not quite so bad then
but still, I'd be miffed.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)

Oh she was late for tea
It wasn't a date and she didn't know it was special.
What's rude abotu being late home? They live together. She hardly missed the first act of La Boheme.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:15, Reply)

I was under the impression that it was a special occasion

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)

I see your point, in principle
but we always let each other know if we're going to be late. Trust me, I'd have got it in the neck if things had been the other way round
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:22, Reply)

life's too short to get cross with someone you love over stuff like that.
And tell her the same, the drunken harridan.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:23, Reply)

This is possibly the truest thing anyone has ever said on the internet
With the obvious exception of Lab's masterwork
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:28, Reply)

You mean that 'roll' thing he does with his chins?
Like Chunk does with his tummy?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:32, Reply)

I was actually referring to "Men are shit, women are crazy"
but I would LOVE to see that!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:33, Reply)

-:((((((((

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Every time I see that I am going to have to respond with
mrrrgllgrglllrg
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:38, Reply)

It did make me chortle last time
It has made me guffaw today.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:39, Reply)

I have to agree

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

I'm genuinely appreciative to know that most of you agree with me
but I'm never introducing her to you lot now, she'd likely be mortified to know I'd made a thing of it on the internet
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:13, Reply)

I think partners are off limits as far as that sort of stuff goes
until they make themselves a target of their own accord
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:15, Reply)

I imagine she'd be targeted with a hell of a lot of
"are you REALLY his girlfriend?" queries
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:21, Reply)

More along the lines of "which agency did he get you from?"
"How much to outbid him?"
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Hahaha
Can't help you with the agency thing, but she has four sisters
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:27, Reply)

+they all got ass
one of them...eyes as big as Jolly Ranchers
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:35, Reply)

FUCK
I cannot remember where this is from
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:36, Reply)

:-D

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:37, Reply)

TELL ME YOU BASTARD

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:48, Reply)

DJ Shadow

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:51, Reply)

beautiful girl ...
she's a beautiful girl ...
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 12:37, Reply)