To end the day, how about an inappropriate joke thread?
I heard a new favourite the other day -

What's pink and smells of Holly? Ian Huntley's cock.

How about you lot, what is your worst?

Alt Q: Up to much tonight?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:04, 60 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I don't know any shit jokes.
Sorry.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:07, Reply)

HAHHAHAHAHA!
best joke ever
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:31, Reply)

:(

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:34, Reply)

Q: What's grey and shit?
A: This thread.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Alt answer.
Your mum in bed.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:10, Reply)

4 weeks ago that joke would have made me laugh
now I don't like it, I must be growing up.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:12, Reply)

In keeping with the theme
Q: What's grey and smells of curry?
A: John Major's cock.

Alt: Nope.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:18, Reply)

Did you hear about the black Jew?

He had to get to the back of the gas chamber.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:31, Reply)

You're not a racist
Racism is a crime and crime is for black people.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:34, Reply)

that kind of logic fucks up the space time insert coin thing.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:35, Reply)

how many potatoes does it take to kill an irishman?
none.
tonight I shall be doing bugger all, after the day I've had I shall probably give up and go to bed as soon as I get in.
(berk, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:32, Reply)

That's my third favourite joke
after 'Noddy Holder' and 'Pedant's Revolt'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:33, Reply)

Kipper Tie?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:34, Reply)

Is that the "Whom Tyler" one?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:35, Reply)

Which Tyler.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:37, Reply)

That's the badger.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:42, Reply)

What's the ultimate insult?
A four year old telling a child molester she's had bigger.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:34, Reply)

What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot, you fucking racist.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:47, Reply)

The least tactful way you can announce a redundancy.
- Knock knock.
- Who's there?
- Not your job!
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 17:58, Reply)

Ok let's get the meeting started.
Raise your right hand if you have a job.
Wrong!
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:03, Reply)

Raise your right hand if you have the best grandma in the world!
Not so fast, junior.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:05, Reply)

I wanted to do this with students today
"hands up who thinks they are going to pass this course"
"not so fast...."

Unfortunately the one I was kicking off wasn't there
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:32, Reply)

Why wasn't he there?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:34, Reply)

because he's a douche
I don't know he didn't give a reason
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:35, Reply)

I was hoping you were going to tell me you were kicking him off the course because he never turns up.
But he never turned up to get the news he was out.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:36, Reply)

to be fair, yes, this was the case

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:40, Reply)

This thread is tremendously wack.
*sigh* which reminds me of the time I saw the spirit of a deceased guineafowl. It was a poultrygeist.

With AIDS.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:02, Reply)

I saw a guineafowl, grose and pheasant all dressed as clowns.
Game for a laugh.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:09, Reply)

Why can't Holly Johnson read?
Because he has AIDS.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:12, Reply)

I just read this, What sort of birds always stick together?
a: Vel Crows

har har

alt: Baking a mother fucking cake
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:03, Reply)

How does one stop five gentleman of the dark persuasion having sexual congress with a caucasian lady?
Throw them a basketball.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:05, Reply)

full metal jacket?

( Peej, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:51, Reply)

Probably. Not mine.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 17 Feb 2011, 20:40, Reply)

I'm not getting onto the bad jokes thing
Alt: Nothing. I've had a long couple of weeks, and Saturday will be a very long day so I'm resting in preparation
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:12, Reply)

Where should I meet you guys and when?
All I know is where the youth hostel is
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:33, Reply)

Perhaps about five?
And if you can walk up to town we'll meet you there (it's literally just walk along one road) and if you get lost give me a call and I'll come and collect you
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:36, Reply)

can you gaz me your number, please
otherwise I will have to guess :)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:39, Reply)

this
it's been a long week and a rather crap one, if I didn't have stuff to do I would seriously consider skiving off tomorrow, but I can't. /heaves sigh.
(berk, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:41, Reply)

pity
you'll need to fortify yourself for a massive proplus intake
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:51, Reply)

you guys are wise in the way of the world
is £50 a month reasonable for a gym (no joining fee and I can go when I want)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:48, Reply)

Seems expensive to me.
What facilities does the gym have?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:51, Reply)

indoor and outdoor pool
steam room, jacuzzi, gym, all lessons are included, too

it's meant to be more but I get a special lecturer rate
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:53, Reply)

An outdoor pool in Wales?
That'll get a lot of use.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:53, Reply)

there were REAL PEOPLE
in it this evening. I believe it is heated
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:55, Reply)

Then that is a pretty good price

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:57, Reply)

Does the pool double-up as a large sheep-dip when it isn't being used?
Seriously though, the gym is good value if it has the facilities you want, and it doesn't have too many facilities you don't want, but will be paying for.

So if you're unlikely to use the pool on a regular basis, find a gym without a pool, if you're unlikely to take any classes, find a gym that'll charge you extra for taking them.

Obvious reply is obvious.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:58, Reply)

I love swimming
thus it is probably worth it. I just needed internet confirmation. Thanks all
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:00, Reply)

I can confirm you are ON THE INTERNET.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:02, Reply)

Seems quite reasonable to be honest.
My gym costs me 37 quid a month on a student rate whereas my friends pay 60. Other gyms in Bris seem to range from about 40 - 100+
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:51, Reply)

Have you seen this Bob?
news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/europe/9401141.stm

Glad to see the game of the people is still catering for the average man in the street. Not.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:01, Reply)

It doesn't strike me as being very good
unless it has a pool I guess. Mine was £35 a month, no joining fee
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 18:51, Reply)

it's no fun without swimming

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:02, Reply)

Is this a David Lloyd gym perchance?
they are meant to be very good, but it depends if you will go often enough for it to be good value. Personally I couldn't afford it now, but if I could, and it was convenient enough to work/home etc I would consider it, although it does seem on the pricey side.
(berk, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:16, Reply)

no
it's an esporta one
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:17, Reply)

Make sure there isn't a 50 month contract.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:31, Reply)

12

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:33, Reply)

£600/year, that is, or £12/week.
They got a trial period? If you use it, it's good value, if you don't, it's a big waste.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:41, Reply)

How much do they charge to get out of it early?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:44, Reply)

no trial period
but I use the leisure centre regularly (2 or 3 times a week) and this is closer to work and nicer
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 19:45, Reply)

Sounds alright then, with all these things, they use the Colman's methord of buisness; they make their money by what you leave on the plate.
Lap it all up and it's worth every penny =)
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 20:40, Reply)