You think you have it bad!
My loo is still broken so I went to Cafe Nero as usual and the bloody bog was out of order, there really was no time to search for another open establishment so I went home and had a dump in an M & S carrier bag...

This was both hilarious and horrific.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:07, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

...

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)

I so didn't need to know this fact

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)

Well now you do, so be quiet or come and fix my loo

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)

No fucking chance
You can have a Marksies carrier bag though for next time
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)

POTD
Hahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahaahhah *deep breath* hahahahahahahahahahh
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Thanks for your sympathy

Really the key to to find a bag without holes in the bottom
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:13, Reply)

this makes me think of my ex flatmate
who, i have only discovered since she left, once did the same thing on a roll of newspaper ON MY SPARE ROOM FLOOR because she couldn't wait 2 mins for me to finish conditioning my hair.

fucking rank bitch!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)

This was an emergency to be fair
I did once have to clean up with a Christian newspaper that was in the bog; do yoiu think I'll be damned to hell to spend eternity with the shit deamon?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Ah my poor nephew was round at our other auntie's
and he shouted out "Can you bring me some toilet paper!" and the bitch came in and handed him a GLOSSY magazine and went off cackling to herself.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Other the other hand he got to wipe his arse with Jordan's face!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:21, Reply)

My auntie's rank
My mum catches her in the shed in the night nicking pizza and wine.
then when she gets totally caught she goes "Can I borrow some bread and toilet paper as well?"
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

You are the ScatMan
weeebababadado
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)

What?
Really? And she admitted it?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:18, Reply)

we don't really speak any more following an incident at my birthday a year or so ago
but she has told mutual friends because apparently she finds it hilarious.

i'd have chucked her out on the spot if i'd known, sod the protection from eviction act.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Where did she poo on your Birthday?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

On. The. Cake.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)

I would if she made Swipe some 'special' candles?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:25, Reply)

A friend of a friend got roped into having a joint Hen/Stag do
I know, awful.

Anyway the girls were doing manicures, putting on make up etc while the lads got fcuking trashed. One of the chaps got fed up with the boring girls ruining it all so he made a lovely salad for their dinner in an act of kindness...

Unfortunately for the girls he took a massive dump on it and presented in a silver service style!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

a "hag do"
i think you'll find the technical term is. i've been to loads.

some were ok. some sucked royally.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

I can't think of anything worse, surely it ruins the whole point!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:32, Reply)

I can't think of anything worse than a hen do.
I went on a lovely civilised hen weekend once, but even that took a sour turn at penis drinking straws and a cock cake.
I don't WANT to run round town with a load of harpies wearing sashes and personalised t-shirts.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:34, Reply)

It doesn't have to be that way!
My now wife, hired a massive house on the South coast, got 20 mates down and had BBQs, played on the beach and generally had a wee holiday!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Well this was like that
Nice place in the Cotwolds, wine tasting, people serving us dinner at the house. it was really cute.
But then came the cocks...
It was mostly boss though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)