For some odd reason...
...you find yourself up to your neck in a pool of vomit. Someone is about to throw an enormous bucket of diarrhea at your head. Would you rather take it in the face or duck into the sick?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:52, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It's times like this that makes me realise why b3tans aren't allowed out much

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:54, Reply)

I'm guessing you'd take a faceful.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:56, Reply)

I'm thinking more sick
How soon is it until I can have a shower in this scenario?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:58, Reply)

I had not really thought this one through.
Erm. Let's say 30 minutes.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:00, Reply)

How big is the pool of vomit?
Would the diarrhea cover the surface meaning I would have to come back up through it? Or does ducking into the vomit mean the diarrhea isn't thrown?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:03, Reply)

The runny poo is sucked out using a magical Diarrhyson...
...so it won't be there when you surface.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:06, Reply)

I'd speculate that for the purposes of the question
You have a split second decision to make after the diarrhoea has been ejected from the bucket. I'm also guessing it's one person's effluence in the bucket, rather than a bucket full to the brim with it. This would mean you'd risk a certain amount of splashing on the surface of the vomit-pool, but not total coverage.
( Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:06, Reply)

For fuck's sake, you pernickety bastards.
The sick and poo are collected from the lower castes of India - this pool is in India, the weather is fucking hot, it is a Friday around lunchtime.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:10, Reply)

I'm hurt
I was trying to help.
( Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:12, Reply)

It's OK.
I'm just a little bit tired and emotional. (tucks string)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:14, Reply)

This made me officelol

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:15, Reply)

What kind of shoes am I wearing at this juncture?
I'm just trying to get into character. What's my back-story? How have I ended up in this quagmire of bile and faeces? What's my motivation here?

I'll be in my trailer 'focussing'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:13, Reply)

You are not wearing shoes.
You are Mick Jagger in Performance.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:16, Reply)

In which case Anita Pallenberg can eat the shit for me.
She looks like the type who'd probably enjoy it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:21, Reply)

The sick.
Without hesitation or regret.
( Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:55, Reply)

I once heard someone reply...
..."is the vomit cold or warm?" which is a great point but somewhat worrying.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:59, Reply)

Either option has to be better than a face full of liquid shit.
It just has to be.
( Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Also, I'd rather smell like sick
than smell of sick AND shit. Since I'm going to smell of sick either way, I'd rather mitigate the damage.

Of course, it's unlikely that after this experience I'd be voluntarily going anywhere where my personal odour would matter, but it's the principle of the thing.
( Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:03, Reply)

OK, let's try this.
The squit is watery and runny, and the vomit pool has been in the hot sun for a good three days.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:04, Reply)

Oh then most of the liquid vomit would have evaporated leaving mainly chunks
It would be like the most horrific ball pool ever
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:05, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1087150
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:15, Reply)

I'd take the diarrhoea.
As you all know, I like getting shit-faced at any given opportunity.


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHahahahah
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:16, Reply)

You're losing it aren't you?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:18, Reply)

I am teetering on the brink, yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Do it, go mental for the weekend, sit in your dressing gown shouting at passers by
it'll make you feel better.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:21, Reply)

Mate, worst comes to it, absolute worst comes to it, it'll all be alright, life has a way of working things out, it always does, no matter how bad things get.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:23, Reply)

You should be lyricist for The Streets.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:28, Reply)

yricist for iving on
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:29, Reply)

I'd love to hear Pam Ayres do a version of A Grand Dont Come For Free.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:35, Reply)

I'd love
to see Mike Skinner skinned alive and then rolled in salt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:41, Reply)

That's very clever, because by "it" the expression is "the plot", as in, going mental, but a plot is also an area of land which you build property, such as your home, on.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:21, Reply)

Hahah you absolute shit, Gonz.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:25, Reply)

He's very witty

( Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:26, Reply)

and actually also very charming
that is, on the assumption your "very witty" was referring to gonz.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:29, Reply)

<3 u 2 ,)

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:41, Reply)

Totally what I was going for
glad someone got it gonz.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:38, Reply)