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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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we've done weekends. so what's for lunch?
i am thinking of going to sainsburys for a giant-cous-cous salad with feta and chillis, and monster munch with pesto topped houmous.

alt q: "would you rather" questions. the grimmest you can think of. starting with: "would you rather rim your grandmother's musky ass or nibble your grandfather's salty balls" ?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:11, 162 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
I have thai green curry for lunch
Would you rather kill yourself or kill your Mother/Father/family member/husband/wife.

ALT: balls definately
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:13, Reply)
That might not be the best question...

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)
Edited to give more opportunity for choise
Really the question is could you sacrifice yourself for a loved one...
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)
Only one of them, I'd say
The rest already have had good lives, the brother I'm thinking of is now engaged, and looking to the future.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:19, Reply)
It's much of a muchness, really.
All my grandparents have been cremated, a dab of ash on the tongue shouldn't be too traumatic.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:14, Reply)
threadstomping cunt
I am currently munching a banana, and wondering whether/what to eat.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:15, Reply)
apologies
but the lure of lunch has still drawn you over to my thread!

where's your sick question, come on, you know you want to.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:17, Reply)
the solicitor tha did my conveyancing forgot to charge me the land registry fees, and now they're asking me to send them a cheque.
They haven't given me a date to pay by or said DO IT OR ELSE, so do I have to?

Taking advantage of your professional knowledge, that's pretty sick.

Alternatively, would you rather eat a lovely big juicy steak that's been wiped on a fat sweaty blokes armpit, or bowl of weevil-infested rice (and you have to eat the whole thing including all the crawlies)?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:23, Reply)
Steak, duh.
Rice is for benders.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:25, Reply)
did you covenant to pay fees, ie did you sign an engagement letter that said you would pay fees and disbs?
in reality, what's the amount, are they actually going to sue you for them?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:25, Reply)
yes. They just forgot to add it to the amount they subtracted before they passed on the proceeds of the sale
It was only £60, so I don't mind. I just keep forgetting to do it.

Having said that, it was under Scottish law so it may be different to English.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:29, Reply)
oh
yes i can't comment on those brain-wrongs!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:41, Reply)
thank you anyway for taking an interest
I think we staunchly refuse to adopt the same laws as the rest of the nation. There's just four lawyers sat in a room in Edinburgh cradling the statute books and murmuring.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:05, Reply)
Quinoa with brocolli, bird eye chillis, sundried tomatoes and Wensleydale
Alt - Would you rather sit through an entire Smashing Pumpkins gig or South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut?

What? That's horrific to me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)
the South Park film is great
and we have previously established that the Smashing Pumpkins aren't that offensive
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:22, Reply)
8 albums, 1 good track?
I'd call that pretty offensive.

And the South Park movie is superb
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:23, Reply)
This is incorrect

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:24, Reply)
You're spot on
about the Pumpkins. I honestly think they could have been a semi-decent band had Corgan's ego allowed them to hire a vocalist whose voice wasn't a savage assault on the ears
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:25, Reply)
which song?
if you say "Today" I will kill you

they have a load of good songs
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:27, Reply)
They have a load of songs which sound like they could be great
until that cunt opens his stupid baldy twat mouth
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:28, Reply)
that's preference though
they aren't a bad band

it's like Elbow, I suspect they are great, but the guy's voice is terrible and unsuited to the music so I can't listen to them.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:29, Reply)
I see your point, and it is a good one
However, as previously established in this forum I am under no obligation to differentiate between a decent band with a poor singer and a bunch of cunts. I can't easily explain to you how much I hate Billy fucking Corgan
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:32, Reply)
I accept it
I don't rate them enough to argue!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:35, Reply)
If it's any comfort
He certainly has no idea at all who you are, and almost certainly wouldn't care if he did.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:35, Reply)
That actually does make me feel much, much better
But not so much as the fact that he nailed Courtney Love. I'm not sure who to feel sorrier for
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:37, Reply)
christ
I feel sorry for him

I'd almost feel sorry for Bono if he had shagged her
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:37, Reply)
*almost*

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:38, Reply)
I think sympathising with Bono
is about as close as it's possible to come to crossing the line, on B3ta
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:43, Reply)
She looks like a sex doll that's been through a tumble dryer.
Half-melted.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:48, Reply)
That is superb
I am stealing that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:51, Reply)
I like a Smashing Pumpkins song.
Trufax.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:30, Reply)
Bullet With Butterfly Wings

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:33, Reply)
it is a good one
but there are others that are as good. 1979 for instance
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:36, Reply)
I don't find many tracks as dull as I do that one.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:36, Reply)
I'm with you on that
It never even threatens to become interesting
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:37, Reply)
fair enough

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:38, Reply)
Chilli and a jacket potato
Alt: Would you rather spend 2 minutes licking between the toes of an endurance runner after a marathon, or over and behind the teeth of a hobo?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:16, Reply)
toes, bit of sweat V tramp spit, snot, plaque, etc etc

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:17, Reply)
Scrambled egg and toast.
Daytime TV FTW!

Gig last night was fab. Wasn't able to see much of the band due to the lighting and smoke but enjoyed it nevertheless.

I've never seen so many middle-aged people wearing black.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:19, Reply)
What I can find in the storecupboard.
So at the moment, mini Cheddars -shames-
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:21, Reply)
Ugh, cheesey cardboard.
Vile.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:22, Reply)
brainwrong
mini cheddars are the shit. esp the bacon or spring onion flavoured ones.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:24, Reply)
Branston Pickle cheddars are OUTSTANDING.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:39, Reply)
I really like the thin cheese'n'onion ones, or the normal branston pickle ones.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:47, Reply)
It's ok I ate a box of Maltesers for breakfast and it's not even my period

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:22, Reply)
Never been a massive fan of Malteasers
I was always disappointed to find them in Revels as they weren't special, you couldn't buy the coffee or orange sweets on their own, so why did they take up space for them with a more available sweet!?
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:24, Reply)
holy shit though
have you had the malteaster bunnies?

seriously, it should be illegal for them to stop making those after easter!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:24, Reply)
No, I've not
The caramel rabbits are awesome though.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:25, Reply)
promise me
that the very next shop you see that has them, you will buy one and eat it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:28, Reply)
Might wander to Morisons in a bizzle

(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:30, Reply)
I love rabbitt, like chicken but more interesting

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:26, Reply)
is the extra t for tasty?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:28, Reply)
No, T stands for dyslexia-tard

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:31, Reply)
i can recommend monster munch and pesto topped houmous
the greek gods you study didn't have any shit that was this tasty.

how is the cold, did it go away?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:24, Reply)
What flavour?
S'all about Beef or Flamin' Hot.

The cold was I hope a false alarm. I was really shivery and cold and felt dreadful but it went away after a sleep.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:25, Reply)
the original beef ones
i've had about 15 different people sneer at the houmous and beef monster munch combo. they all eat their words. oh yes. but then they all eat my monster munch and houmous, the fuckers.

went to the newly refurbished savoy bars the other night, OMG amazing, they have done the most fabulous job. but the best thing on the menu is the oreo cookie cocktail... drool.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:27, Reply)
that sounds awesome

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:28, Reply)
it really was
they have done an absolutely spectacular job, i was v impressed.

it's also expensive but you know that when you go, it's a special occasion. and it's no more stupidly expensive than the other competitive hotel bars, like the ritz, claridges, the mandarin etc. you could go for a very special evening without being too horrified. unlike the waldorf, where my friend and i had 2 drinks each (not fancy ones either), and the bill was £94.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:35, Reply)
I didn't read the bit about the bar
I was talking about beef monster munch and houmous
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:38, Reply)
it is very very hard to say which i recommend more, in all fairness
it's nice to get really dressed up and go somewhere schmancy for once.

but the houmous and munch will be in my fat gob in the next 20 mins or so. hmmm.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:40, Reply)
I was in the Savoy on Wednesday night.
It reminded me of my dear old Grandmama's summerhouse.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:41, Reply)
no you weren't
you were slumming it in your shed fingering your man-tools.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:01, Reply)
I actually was.
It was a function room inside the main hotel.

Can you imagine a bunch of orange perma-tanned salesmen and a squadron of Uxbridgians in the Savoy? Because that's exactly what it was. I was literally the only one there who hadn't done something inappropriate with their attire.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:09, Reply)
i am amazed they let you in
did you get to stay there?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:19, Reply)
Sadly no
It was a company thing, there's no way they'd pay for that. I was in the entirely more appropriate-for-my-class Holiday Inn on Cromwell Road.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:24, Reply)
Ugh.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:29, Reply)
ha
you were about... 10 mins from me maybe? cromwell road runs parallel to high st ken.

thanks ever so much for popping in, really friendly of you.

monty, i am going to allocate that "ugh" to the holiday inn rather than to west london generally and my patch of kensington specifically!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:31, Reply)
Yes, I know.
I would have done if I thought for a moment you wouldn't scream and run in the opposite direction. Also, if I knew your address.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:37, Reply)
Good choice. Will check it out after the poppadom success,
I might go to the Roadhouse soon. Ridiculously cheap at happy hour which means pissed by 7.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:29, Reply)
Roadhouse, you say?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:39, Reply)
In keeping with my destitute Victorian theme, bowl of soup.
I'd rather by bummed half to death by 1000 Samoans than be me right now.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:24, Reply)
*offers piggy bank and hammer*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:25, Reply)
*graciously accepts hammer and goes to Leeds looking for prossies*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:27, Reply)
hahahah
Good to see your sense of hunour remains!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:28, Reply)
Psst. Want to buy a 'used' sense of humour?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:30, Reply)
Monty, instead of going around murdering prostertutes in ever increasingly horrific fassions, have you tried adding cashewnuts to your stir fry?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:36, Reply)
I do that as well. They help maintain my energy levels
when I'm out on the rape.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:39, Reply)
Instead of going out on the rape, have you tried those "3 for £1" packets of 'Buzz' sweets they do at all the local corner shops?
I got "Bones", "Fizzy blues" and "Mushrooms".
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:45, Reply)
Oh, oh my goodness, oh my, they sound like drug related stuff.
i.imgur.com/Gqud0.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:46, Reply)
They really do.
I want some 'buzz mushrooms'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:02, Reply)
If only the Ripper had asked himself this.
History could have been so very different.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:39, Reply)
Did they have cashewnuts invented in those days?

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:42, Reply)
Do you know, I have no idea when cashews were invented.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:46, Reply)
Must have been at some point or another.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:52, Reply)
Whoever did must be properly rich
from all those lovely royalties.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:54, Reply)
For some reason, peanuts is where the big money is.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:57, Reply)
I only know 4, but if you don't mind them having 250 goes each I'll send them round.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:27, Reply)
Yes please, that would be great. Thanks.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:29, Reply)
For some reason, on top of the £500 I got yesterday.
Student Finance have deposited £4200 into my account. I don't have to pay any of it back.

So, what's for lunch? I don't know, but I'm off to buy an iPhone and a train ticket to Manchester to see a few mates tonight. Goodbye.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:25, Reply)
Fucking students, give me my tax back!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:27, Reply)
and me!
my pay slip today has induced the usual "i hate tax" rage.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:27, Reply)
I bet Barry is "studying" a non subject like celebrity studies
and sits around playing on his new i-phone and spending all my taxs on drugs, what a bastard
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:30, Reply)
I'm studying Music and African Dance.
I'm not really.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:32, Reply)
I hope your phone gets stolen and your mates arse rape you until you prolapse

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:29, Reply)
POTD

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:30, Reply)
Scathing.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:33, Reply)
Haven't you ever seen any gangster movies? Don't ever accept money that you didn't have coming to you, you'll be in their pockets for years.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:31, Reply)
Salty balls, no question.
The saltier the better in fact.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:30, Reply)
I might go get a sandwich
and then do some work. My life is so exciting
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:44, Reply)
For some odd reason...
...you find yourself up to your neck in a pool of vomit. Someone is about to throw an enormous bucket of diarrhea at your head. Would you rather take it in the face or duck into the sick?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:52, Reply)
It's times like this that makes me realise why b3tans aren't allowed out much

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:54, Reply)
I'm guessing you'd take a faceful.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:56, Reply)
I'm thinking more sick
How soon is it until I can have a shower in this scenario?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:58, Reply)
I had not really thought this one through.
Erm. Let's say 30 minutes.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:00, Reply)
How big is the pool of vomit?
Would the diarrhea cover the surface meaning I would have to come back up through it? Or does ducking into the vomit mean the diarrhea isn't thrown?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:03, Reply)
The runny poo is sucked out using a magical Diarrhyson...
...so it won't be there when you surface.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:06, Reply)
I'd speculate that for the purposes of the question
You have a split second decision to make after the diarrhoea has been ejected from the bucket. I'm also guessing it's one person's effluence in the bucket, rather than a bucket full to the brim with it. This would mean you'd risk a certain amount of splashing on the surface of the vomit-pool, but not total coverage.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:06, Reply)
For fuck's sake, you pernickety bastards.
The sick and poo are collected from the lower castes of India - this pool is in India, the weather is fucking hot, it is a Friday around lunchtime.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:10, Reply)
I'm hurt
I was trying to help.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:12, Reply)
It's OK.
I'm just a little bit tired and emotional. (tucks string)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:14, Reply)
This made me officelol

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:15, Reply)
What kind of shoes am I wearing at this juncture?
I'm just trying to get into character. What's my back-story? How have I ended up in this quagmire of bile and faeces? What's my motivation here?

I'll be in my trailer 'focussing'.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:13, Reply)
You are not wearing shoes.
You are Mick Jagger in Performance.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:16, Reply)
In which case Anita Pallenberg can eat the shit for me.
She looks like the type who'd probably enjoy it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:21, Reply)
The sick.
Without hesitation or regret.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:55, Reply)
I once heard someone reply...
..."is the vomit cold or warm?" which is a great point but somewhat worrying.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:59, Reply)
Either option has to be better than a face full of liquid shit.
It just has to be.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:01, Reply)
Also, I'd rather smell like sick
than smell of sick AND shit. Since I'm going to smell of sick either way, I'd rather mitigate the damage.

Of course, it's unlikely that after this experience I'd be voluntarily going anywhere where my personal odour would matter, but it's the principle of the thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:03, Reply)
OK, let's try this.
The squit is watery and runny, and the vomit pool has been in the hot sun for a good three days.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:04, Reply)
Oh then most of the liquid vomit would have evaporated leaving mainly chunks
It would be like the most horrific ball pool ever
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:05, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1087150
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:15, Reply)
I'd take the diarrhoea.
As you all know, I like getting shit-faced at any given opportunity.


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHahahahah
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:16, Reply)
You're losing it aren't you?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:18, Reply)
I am teetering on the brink, yes.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:19, Reply)
Do it, go mental for the weekend, sit in your dressing gown shouting at passers by
it'll make you feel better.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:21, Reply)
Mate, worst comes to it, absolute worst comes to it, it'll all be alright, life has a way of working things out, it always does, no matter how bad things get.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:23, Reply)
You should be lyricist for The Streets.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:28, Reply)

yricist for iving on
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:29, Reply)
I'd love to hear Pam Ayres do a version of A Grand Dont Come For Free.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:35, Reply)
I'd love
to see Mike Skinner skinned alive and then rolled in salt.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:41, Reply)
That's very clever, because by "it" the expression is "the plot", as in, going mental, but a plot is also an area of land which you build property, such as your home, on.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:21, Reply)
Hahah you absolute shit, Gonz.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:25, Reply)
He's very witty

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:26, Reply)
and actually also very charming
that is, on the assumption your "very witty" was referring to gonz.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:29, Reply)
<3 u 2 ,)

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:41, Reply)
Totally what I was going for
glad someone got it gonz.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:38, Reply)
That giant couscous/feta/chilli salad is fucking lovely.
I've never found anywhere to buy the giant couscous from on its own, though. I have a horrible feeling it's from Israel, so it's not very 'Nazi-friendly'. Can I eat it with a clear conscience?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:08, Reply)
Only if it is blessed by Nick Griffin.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:11, Reply)
It's been taken from Israel
imagine you've stolen it from the mouth of a starving child.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:17, Reply)
*gets a semi*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:18, Reply)
Careful Monty!
The dirty buggers might have touched it!
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:21, Reply)
Quick dusting with the old Zyklon, just to be on the safe side.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:25, Reply)
Oh yes - a hearty shake of 'Jerusalem Pepper' should do the trick.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:31, Reply)
Hahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:31, Reply)
Quinoa? Houmous? Giant Couscous?
You poncy woofters.

I had a ham sandwich and a bag of crisps, that's a proper lunch, none of your arty farty crap.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:19, Reply)
i still haven't been to get mine
people keep CALLING ME. stupid people.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:32, Reply)
Can't you send some lackey out to get it for you?
Tell your trainee to go and get it.

If he can't get what you want, tell him you'll have a swan sandwich instead.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:34, Reply)
Why would she want to eat matches?
They smell of farty volcanoes.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:37, Reply)
So too did vesta curries.
Go figure.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:39, Reply)
I tried to recreate this ad when I was little
www.youtube.com/watch?v=5R73mNliXY0
and just shook Grandad's matches all over the floor.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:43, Reply)
hahaha
"a reassuring shake"
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:45, Reply)
From him?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Go9YZCs52Vo&feature=related
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:48, Reply)
ah there's no need for that
the cut of those trousers four seconds in is something I could've done without.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:51, Reply)
Bwuuuuuuurgh

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:53, Reply)
Begorrah!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 14:00, Reply)
for as much effort as I put into it I should be eating that fucking cake I made last night
so much WORK. UGH.
AND NOW I have to clean the oven because one of the pans bubbled up and spilled over and burnt at the back.
MORE WORK. UGH.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:39, Reply)
My rocky road got waterlogged :(

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:39, Reply)
Yeah', I have troubles in that department too, got to have a colonoscopy on monday though, not looking forward to it =(

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:42, Reply)
You're on fire today Popz

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:44, Reply)
Quick - throw Tugger's bucket of diarrhoea on him!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:46, Reply)
I officially hate this thread.
Start a new one Montalicious.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:47, Reply)
'Tis done.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:53, Reply)

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