i had a brilliant if ridiculously drunken weekend with rakky down in bristol
however, last night i was woken up at regular intervals by my friend, who was on a first date. texts started with "i like him", progressed through angst about whether it was ok to shag on a first date, and culminated in "woohoo fucking amazing sex for 3 hours straight".

then this morning my other best friend has sent me loads of pictures of her, husband and baby on the beach in barbados where they have been for 3 weeks.

at what point are you too old to be seriously jealous...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:41, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Never
How the fuck dare you go to Bristol at the same time as me without telling me so that I could respond "that's nice, I doubt I'll have any spare time to meet up though"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:42, Reply)

i'm just wild and independently-minded like that

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:43, Reply)

I'm not sure I can keep up with this sort of behaviour
It's over, Rachel. I'm sorry, but this sort of hellraising absolutely will not do.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Morning RSwipe (32DD)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:50, Reply)

hey
that's only my height if i lie down.

which i never do on a first date. it guarantees fumbly painful sex.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:54, Reply)

Your thighs are too long, then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:04, Reply)

i wish
i don't mind being 5'6, it's only annoying in sales when all the normal length trousers/jeans/skirts have already been sold because it's so average. but i would like to have longer legs please. can you stretch them?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)

yes Dopey, yes you can.
arstechnica.com/civis/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=2941
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Yeah, cos it's really easy to find trousers when you're 6' and female
I've spent longer than I care to recount in Long Tall Sally, feeling positively Liliputian by comparison to all the shoppers, waiting for Ms Foxtrot and her sisters to find clothes that fit them
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)

I'll have a good time trying.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)

this is the best answer
/swoons
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

But how tall is your friend?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:51, Reply)

rakky (6') is on great form
annoyingly she IS 6' and blonde. but i got over it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:53, Reply)

Am I the only one who doesn't like tall women?
Being a measly five foot nine/ten it makes me look even more of a shortarse by comparison.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:56, Reply)

You are Tom de Sarkozy
AICMFP
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:58, Reply)

Yes, it's just you.
(and Happybara 5'2")
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:58, Reply)

and 5' of that is torso

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:59, Reply)

Hahahahah actual 'lol' from me there

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:04, Reply)

This presents a disturbing mental image
of a Happybara penguin type, waddling along
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:07, Reply)

i'm only 5'6
the thing about being 6' is that you have amazing long legs.

bitch. i don't know why i like her so much.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 9:59, Reply)