Violence.
Thickness.
Poor taste.
Bucket fanny.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:01, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

ooof
i would dump female friends for this. well, not the last one, as i wouldn't know.

although my flatmate did once yank down her keks to ask if i thought her waxer had done a good job. she hadn't.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

see I'm too embarrassed to let someone else wax me.
I'd rather do it myself.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

i was the first time i went
then i thought, they see tens of these things a day. hundreds in a year. they really don't care. and they do a much better job than i would.

that being said, i think permanent laser hollywood-ing is the way forward. the 6-weekly session of boiling hot wax being poured all over you and then ripped off - and then having some woman rubbing soothing oil/cream into your bits afterwards - is one i would happily give up!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)

ahaha this is why I usually trim or shave instead.
much less painful! Besides, no hair looks a bit...pre-pubescent.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

it does
a neatly trimmed bush is good. no hair is just really weird.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

vipros in "there is only one opinion in the whole wide world and it is mine" shocker
newsflash: some men like it trimmed. some men like a brazilian. and some men like a hollywood. if you don't mind a mouthful of hair with your oyster, great for you and mrs v. others don't feel the same way - that's their prerogative too!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

rswipe in "reading more into someone's comment than is actually there" shocker
I was stating my opinion that no hair is weird. Nothing more.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)

i think it's what one gets used to
if you'd slept with 100+ girls, you might have developed a different preference with exposure to different styles, you might not.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I've run the full gamut of styles
from big ginger bush to bald, and I definitely prefer something neat in the middle.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

ginger?
jeeeesus i am surprised it didn't turn you gay.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

it turned her gay
that is only partly jest.

she was rather good in bed, hence no gayness.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I can't be like that.
The whole "no hair thing" that is. I tried once or twice, and each time I saw myself I was like, "I look like a 5 year old, this is wrong." good trimming is good though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

i hate having any body hair
and i think a brazilian just looks as if you missed a bit. but if the other half had a preference, i'd happily accommodate it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I'm with you on the hollywood.
I don't look prepubescent because I have big boobs, a 33 year-old face and child-bearing hips.
No confusion.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

i think the boobs might be the answer
it's impossible to look pre-pubescent when you are cursed with DD boobs.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

that is true
I think it does look a bit odd though.

Wouldn't say I'd turn it down, obviously, but I prefer a brazilian. (Not on me.)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

hahahahahaha
god, balls with a brazilian would look seriously odd.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

they'd look like an old, white Mr T.
in case you wanted to know. There is no chance of me ever shaving something bald other than the bits of face that aren't beard or sidies. I'm way too hairy.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

i think you should do it for your wedding night
give mrs v a real surprise with the "optical inch"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

seriously, my legs and chest etc. are pretty hairy (not disgustingly so)
and I would look fucking stupid with a bald patch. It'd be like I was prepped for surgery.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

it would be damn funny though

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)

not what I'm going for on my wedding night thanks :-P

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

When will you stop seeing them as a curse!
I effing love mine. Not in a trollopy way. I just like 'em.
Celebrate the jubblies.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

i fucking hate them
i google "nose job and breast reduction" about 15 times a week.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Occasionally, like with button-up dresses/blouses/shirts, I get a bit miffed
but it passes.
Wrapover dresses would not sit as nicely without some boobage.
And if your nose is DD as well, well fair play to you. I have a nose like an elbow, but it's my nose. Remember when Steph from Hollyoaks got rid of her big nose? Rubbish.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I have none of the above.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

so, girl on girl oiling of the lady area?
Sounds like fun.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

buy a candle
melt it
pour the boiling wax over the tip of your cock, right where it is most sensitive
rip it off
then get a man to touch it with oil

THEN tell me if you still think it sounds like fun.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Alternatively, wax your armpits, leave some wax in there, realise you can't get it off without picking at raw skin
So shave it instead.

Fuck me, that was painful.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:22, Reply)

You actually are a tranny aren't you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Nope, getting waxed raised over £250 for charity.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

*adds scenario to wank bank*

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

The mother of my kid is a reet dorty gorl
and this scenario (minus the man bit) is alarmingly close to something I have actually experienced.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

please pick up your application at the front desk

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

:(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:03, Reply)

don't worry dear
There's nothing wrong with your fanny, and Monty's proved he doesn't mind your arse (he is a major factor after all)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Even more sadface. No Snog for you.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

can I have a snog?
wait, have I already had one? the early events of my london bash are a bit hazy....
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I stole your gin by accident. I am sorry.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

She Says: It's fine.
I say: I'm nicking it.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Are the last three things all reasons to put you off cunnilingus?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

A 'Mary Hinge' is something of a disappointment in that field.
I was seeing a Spanish girl for a while, and it was like Billy Gibbons down there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Did you give her all your lovin?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

I slipped inside her 'sleeping bag'
I have to confess I was something of a 'rough boy'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)