"i would do anything for love... but i won't do THAT"
what constitutes a genuinely dumpable offence?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:40, 270 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well, I forgave a girl after she drunkenly cheated on me
But when she burned my dinner, the bitch had to go.

EDIT: Alright, fine. I dumped her because she got fat.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:41, Reply)

i have ended relationships
- because the guy kept eating mushrooms out of the pan whilst cooking them

- because another guy once cuddled me (strike one) and referred to my tits as "chesticles" (strike two) and asked me to wait 30 mins before sucking him off because he wanted to watch "top gear" (strike three)

- but not because someone shat the bed. hmmm. i think my priorities may be all Wrong.

in theory, i think dumpable offences include: cheating, having a smaller arse than i do, drinking diet coke, being vegetarian, smoking, being cheap, not saying thank you if i pay for dinner etc, questionable personal hygiene and having zero life ambition.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

Two points
Firstly, the second guy was a fucking idiot. He very obviously should have got you to suck him off WHILST watchin Top Gear

Secondly, aren't you a vegematarian?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Also, she has an addiction to Diet Coke...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)

firstly - it is suggestions like that which are why girls have TEETH
secondly - yes. yes i am. and i love diet coke. but these two things are not very manly! he was actually a strict vegan too, no leather, no nothing.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)

I am veggie.
We are OVER.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)

were we ever UNDER?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)

um, no.
I was just being a drama queen.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)

so, a gayer then
it's cool man, it's in to be out.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

It is such a relief to stop living a lie.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Shame, just when you were starting to seem alright

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)

So, he was retarded?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)

You're kidding
Why are you vegetarian?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

who, me?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Nah, RSwipe
I'm intrigued as to why she's veggie, if it's so unimportant to her that the perception of it not being a manly trait trumps it in her priority list.

You can tell me anyway, if you like. I'm very fond of you herbivores. I have to be, don't I
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

because i hate the taste and texture of meat
but men should be MEN.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

I'm going to do you a favour
and assume this is a joke
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

why would it be a joke?
sounds perfectly reasonable
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

So I am less of a man?
I am an utter bender.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I dumped a guy for repeatedly cuddling me at a gig.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:46, Reply)

I never understand why people do that, it's too fucking hot at the best of times!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)

My legs were killing the next day
because I was deliberatley being all rigid and resistant during slow songs, then flinging round madly with livelier ones. He wouldldn't take the hint and I was about to jaw him, but just before I erupted I said "Listen, no offence, but this is a gig. I like music. I want to enjoy it without my movements being all restricted."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)

It's all down to the gig as well
If it's a romantic gig, maybe I can understand.

But for Raging Speedhorn? Fuck off.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Also, who you're with and what kind of relationship you have.
We were only on something like date number three.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:06, Reply)

What a cunt.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Just the wrong bloke I suppose.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Maybe they had great seats?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)

Standing up, totally inappropriate behaviour.
He kept resting his chin on my head from behind me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Who had you been to see?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)

Zero 7, with Jose Gonzalez and Sia.
His choice. Then spent the gig 'worrying' me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)

bromide
carry some with you at all times.

How's the bum? Any splinters yet?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:19, Reply)

*touches up eyeliner*
No new splinters. Just the existing ones.
This is most unlike me, but YAY IT'S SUNNY AND WE HAVE A NEW TESCO OUTSIDE WORK!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

asked me to wait 30 mins before sucking him off because he wanted to watch "top gear"
What a star!
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Dumpable offences:
Having shit taste in music.
Having better taste in music than me.
Voting Tory.
Hairy thighs.
Bad spelling.

I could post this stuff for hours.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Shit taste in music is forgivable, you can teach them about real music!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I've only voted once in a major election.
That was Tory.
:)
Proud.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Not THAT impressive
You're only 19
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)

He's older than you

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Is that even possible?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Define "hairy"
Mine are hairier than a woman's (I hope) but not especially hairy. My political affiliation is my own business (but is NOT Tory) and my syntax is excellent. And I think we'd have to leave the first two at the door
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:52, Reply)

so you are explaining why I shouldn't dump you?
Darth you utter bender.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)

Precious, precious validation

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

Few I voted BNP, do i still get a look in?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)

Not if that's how you think you express getting away with something

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Wait, a guy having a smaller arse than a woman is bad?
A woman would have to be scrawny indeed to have an arse smaller than mine. Women are supposed to have hips. A woman with that small an arse would either be a waif or terribly misproportioned.

If you have DD boobs and an arse smaller than a guy's, you must have an awful time finding clothes that fit.

Or do you just prefer guys with enormous butts?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:40, Reply)

I always thought this song was about anal.
Or necrophilia.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Or scat

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Or cross dressing.

(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:49, Reply)

cheating
Trying to foist personal beliefs on me. Calling me stupid.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)

ZOMG
you should have dumped AND killed that one.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:49, Reply)

as it happens
No-one has ever cheated on me. But it's definitely a dumpable offence
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)

...like eating meat
(sorry)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:49, Reply)

If that was all one guy, I'd advise murdering him

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Curling one out on my chest.

( Kroney, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Una?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)

Monty you utter bender

( Kroney, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Horrific and constant domestic volience

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:49, Reply)

I refer you once again to the Barney Stinson Crazy/Hot Scale
It's hard to imagine what Ms Foxtrot could do to encourage me to get rid, apart from cheating on me. Which she wouldn't.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:51, Reply)

^this

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:22, Reply)

I'd put up with quite a lot apart from violence and suddenly finding God.

( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:53, Reply)

by the way, you're totally Jeff's cup of tea.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)

hmm.
forcing himself upon me, and then not taking the "I never want to see you again" as a strong enough clue to fuck off.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Look, Monty has already apologised for this
It was the first time he'd met you, and was simply too excited to contain himself. His humping your leg may have been a little OTT though...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)

just a tad.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Failure to answer THE QUESTION correctly
THE QUESTION being “What is your favourite Celine Dion song?”

If the answer is anything other than “I have never listened to Celine Dion” it’s a dumping
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:57, Reply)

it's a dumping You've got a gay!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:58, Reply)

hey, you were the one who wanted "my heart will go on" for our first online dance
as mr-and-mrs-rachelswipe.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)

That's very modern, taking your name.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

my husband knows his place. online.

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:18, Reply)

That song is an abomination

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:15, Reply)

that's not what you said when you crooned it into my ear (inbox)
and said that we'd be together forever (online).
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Anyone who doesn't have an opinion get fuck off.
If the answer to all questions is 'don't mind' well I mind.

Wanna go out? 'Don't mind'
Where do you want to go? 'Don't mind'
Do you want to go out for dinner or stay in this evening 'don't mind'

You get the idea.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 10:59, Reply)

to be fair darling
if you ask your girlfriends as many questions as you ask on here, you can't really blame them!

try telling them how much your clothes cost instead...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:00, Reply)

What would be the point in that?
Err... I got this at Poundland and it cost a pound, and this came from Poundland as well and it, err, cost a pound.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

Violence.
Thickness.
Poor taste.
Bucket fanny.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

ooof
i would dump female friends for this. well, not the last one, as i wouldn't know.

although my flatmate did once yank down her keks to ask if i thought her waxer had done a good job. she hadn't.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

see I'm too embarrassed to let someone else wax me.
I'd rather do it myself.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

i was the first time i went
then i thought, they see tens of these things a day. hundreds in a year. they really don't care. and they do a much better job than i would.

that being said, i think permanent laser hollywood-ing is the way forward. the 6-weekly session of boiling hot wax being poured all over you and then ripped off - and then having some woman rubbing soothing oil/cream into your bits afterwards - is one i would happily give up!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:09, Reply)

ahaha this is why I usually trim or shave instead.
much less painful! Besides, no hair looks a bit...pre-pubescent.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

it does
a neatly trimmed bush is good. no hair is just really weird.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

vipros in "there is only one opinion in the whole wide world and it is mine" shocker
newsflash: some men like it trimmed. some men like a brazilian. and some men like a hollywood. if you don't mind a mouthful of hair with your oyster, great for you and mrs v. others don't feel the same way - that's their prerogative too!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

rswipe in "reading more into someone's comment than is actually there" shocker
I was stating my opinion that no hair is weird. Nothing more.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)

i think it's what one gets used to
if you'd slept with 100+ girls, you might have developed a different preference with exposure to different styles, you might not.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I've run the full gamut of styles
from big ginger bush to bald, and I definitely prefer something neat in the middle.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

ginger?
jeeeesus i am surprised it didn't turn you gay.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

it turned her gay
that is only partly jest.

she was rather good in bed, hence no gayness.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I can't be like that.
The whole "no hair thing" that is. I tried once or twice, and each time I saw myself I was like, "I look like a 5 year old, this is wrong." good trimming is good though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

i hate having any body hair
and i think a brazilian just looks as if you missed a bit. but if the other half had a preference, i'd happily accommodate it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I'm with you on the hollywood.
I don't look prepubescent because I have big boobs, a 33 year-old face and child-bearing hips.
No confusion.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

i think the boobs might be the answer
it's impossible to look pre-pubescent when you are cursed with DD boobs.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

that is true
I think it does look a bit odd though.

Wouldn't say I'd turn it down, obviously, but I prefer a brazilian. (Not on me.)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

hahahahahaha
god, balls with a brazilian would look seriously odd.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

they'd look like an old, white Mr T.
in case you wanted to know. There is no chance of me ever shaving something bald other than the bits of face that aren't beard or sidies. I'm way too hairy.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

i think you should do it for your wedding night
give mrs v a real surprise with the "optical inch"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

seriously, my legs and chest etc. are pretty hairy (not disgustingly so)
and I would look fucking stupid with a bald patch. It'd be like I was prepped for surgery.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

it would be damn funny though

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)

not what I'm going for on my wedding night thanks :-P

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

When will you stop seeing them as a curse!
I effing love mine. Not in a trollopy way. I just like 'em.
Celebrate the jubblies.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

i fucking hate them
i google "nose job and breast reduction" about 15 times a week.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Occasionally, like with button-up dresses/blouses/shirts, I get a bit miffed
but it passes.
Wrapover dresses would not sit as nicely without some boobage.
And if your nose is DD as well, well fair play to you. I have a nose like an elbow, but it's my nose. Remember when Steph from Hollyoaks got rid of her big nose? Rubbish.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I have none of the above.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

so, girl on girl oiling of the lady area?
Sounds like fun.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

buy a candle
melt it
pour the boiling wax over the tip of your cock, right where it is most sensitive
rip it off
then get a man to touch it with oil

THEN tell me if you still think it sounds like fun.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:20, Reply)

Alternatively, wax your armpits, leave some wax in there, realise you can't get it off without picking at raw skin
So shave it instead.

Fuck me, that was painful.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:22, Reply)

You actually are a tranny aren't you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Nope, getting waxed raised over £250 for charity.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

*adds scenario to wank bank*

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

The mother of my kid is a reet dorty gorl
and this scenario (minus the man bit) is alarmingly close to something I have actually experienced.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

please pick up your application at the front desk

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

:(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:03, Reply)

don't worry dear
There's nothing wrong with your fanny, and Monty's proved he doesn't mind your arse (he is a major factor after all)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

Even more sadface. No Snog for you.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

can I have a snog?
wait, have I already had one? the early events of my london bash are a bit hazy....
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I stole your gin by accident. I am sorry.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

She Says: It's fine.
I say: I'm nicking it.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Are the last three things all reasons to put you off cunnilingus?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

A 'Mary Hinge' is something of a disappointment in that field.
I was seeing a Spanish girl for a while, and it was like Billy Gibbons down there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Did you give her all your lovin?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

I slipped inside her 'sleeping bag'
I have to confess I was something of a 'rough boy'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

I'm not sure... I've not dumped people for being mean or saying nasty things
But if they're a creep, get rid. And if I like them, I'll stay.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Apparantly you can get dumped for being too awesome and not living near enough.
Who knew!
( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:05, Reply)

I've not heard that before.
*Waves!*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

*waves*
Happened to me Jeff so it must be true. Although I suspect the other women he had his eye on was the real reason.
( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

I don't believe that Blousie
I reckon you were just too awesome for him, and he knew it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Pint of bitter?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Make that a barrel.

( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Failing to reply to texts and e-mails is another hanging offence.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:08, Reply)

This I'll agree with
If you don't want to email or text anymore, at least have the basic common fucking courtesy to say "sorry, I'm getting busy. See you later" or something.

Just not replying is incredibly rude.
( Kroney, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:15, Reply)

i do this all the time
i have no choice, i've been bollocked for using my phone during office hours. if my boss sees me on it, i get into trouble. i can risk 1 or 2 texts, that's it. then at night i'm always out with friends or clients; there's only so much you can text when you are out before it just gets rude!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Sometimes you just can't reply.
Wait for someone to explain later before freaking out.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:24, Reply)

or don't text them until they text you
if they're keen, they'll text eventually.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

I don't ever not text deliberately
but sometimes you're busy, or you forget because someone came and spoke to you as you were about to reply or whatever.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I don't freak out.
I just adopt an "oh, well fuck you too, then" attitude. If they apologise later, all's forgiven. Otherwise I can't really be arsed with them.
( Kroney, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

This may be changing the subject slightly,
but I've just done possibly the darkest poo of my life. I had to ask myself if I saw Noel last night.

What causes black poo? Other than Guinness, which I haven't been anywhere near?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:10, Reply)

Gayness.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Monty you utter bender.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Black men's spunk

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Blood.
If you've got black poo, usually means there's blood in it. According to my nurse mum.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Oooh, that's not good, is it
Thank you for a non-gay answer
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)

also, even if you haven't drunk any guinness
have you eaten anything rich in iron? Offal, green veg etc?

When I take iron supplements, it can cause this same problem.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:18, Reply)

I did have Pak Choi last night
Thank you for the suggestion
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

not generally good, no.
I mean, I have no idea but mum is a nurse, and so she's got a good idea of what types of poos are good and what types are bad. She says black ones are bad. And then she asked if I'd done a black poo and I said "No, someone on the internet has." and she said "oh. Tell them to go to a doctor if it happens again. :S".
So here is me telling you to do that.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:18, Reply)

I will
Thank you. I'm loving the notion that your Mum now knows about my bowel movements
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

she is implying there is blood in it because you've been rogered too much

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

well that too.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

blood from all the vigorous bumming.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)

...you utter bender.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)

You two make such a cute couple

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:19, Reply)

we think so.
We're very happy together.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Hmmm
If you'd asked me this fifteen years ago, I would have had a very idealised list of offences.

However, having lived with mr b3th for eleven years and learning that compromise and pragmatism are de rigeur (what our mercan cousins call 'not sweating the small stuff') I would be hard pushed to find anything he could do that would cause me to walk out.

I think violence, bullying or infidelity. Pretty standard, I suppose.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:16, Reply)

Interrupting Top Gear
D.U.M.P.E.D.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:18, Reply)

watching "top gear"
D.U.M.P.E.D. first.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

But what if I miss some of their witty unscripted banter?
i'll never catch up. I might as well turn over and watch Antiques-cunting-Roadshow
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

i hope jeremy clarkson is there for you
when the thirty minutes of shiny things being driven pointlessly around in stupid ways has ended and you are alone and blow-job-less on the cold, cold sofa.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)

now then, what happens if you like both shows?

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

you should never be allowed to talk to people

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:42, Reply)

oh. okay then.
*wanders off*
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I've made an appointment for you two with
www.relate.org.uk/home/index.html
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I much prefer the Antiques Roadshow to Top Gear.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I have a pavlovian response to the theme tune
all of a sudden i'm 13 again and the weekend is over and I haven't done any of my homework

*shudders*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

You were abused by Hugh Scully as a boy.
That's the real reason, isn't it? It's OK to cry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Ahaha, oh god this
that and songs of bloody praise.
(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Now why did you have to bring that up?
*rocks backwards and forwards in corner of room*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)

i have never seen the AR
and actually i don't mind guys watching TG, keeps them busy whilst i cook or clean or have a bath or something.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

'whilst I cook or clean'
Chinny reck-on.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Jimmy Hill.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:46, Reply)

LIES ON THE INTERNET
You said you've got a cleaner, you've also said you don't cook.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)

but Fiona Bruce presents that.
/obsessed.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

She does?
all of a sudden I feel an interest in the value of other peoples tat
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)

She sure does.
I could talk at length about the Bruce, but the terms of my court order forbid it in a public forum.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:46, Reply)

maybe, but she's no
saxophonist from the zutons, is she.

hmmm, or maybe she is...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:41, Reply)

That girl from the Zutons makes my heart ache.
She runs a close second to you and Fiona.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Are you my B3ta comedy account?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I don't know.
Am I?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Dude, like whoa...

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)

What?
The Bruce/Swipe/Zutons bird thing?

I'm only human.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

heart balls
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:56, Reply)

In my case
fuckwittage, cheating, using me for sex and then being a total arsehole about seeing me...actually that comes under the heading of 'fuckwittage' as well, trying very hard to brainwash me in to converting to christianity (this is the same guy who cried when I gave him a blowjob and said it was because god disapproved), having no ambition or interests other than playing warcraft, poor hygiene and poor manners. I also would very quickly get rid of anyone who tried to intimidate or physically hurt me.

What a depressing list. Why have I slept with so many total arseholes?
(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Because they didn't seem like arseholes in the beginning, I'll bet.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Shit guys! She's on to us!
This birds gonna fly! *jumps through window*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Some of them did actually
sometimes I really wish I could go and see my 19 yr old self and give myself a damn good kicking. I'd like to think I know better nowadays though...
(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

*looks hopeful*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Your missus is a lot bigger than me
I suspect she could kick seven bells out of both of us.
(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

She's a pacifist
Although I suspect she'd make an exception in this instance

EDIT: is that really the best reason you can think of not to shag me?! This lot will provide you with plenty of others
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

It was the least mean one I could think of.

(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Aww
That's very sweet of you

*leaves it at that*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:32, Reply)

I cry during blow jobs
But only because Daddy is chocking me
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

I cry when I read your spelling.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Thanks for that - I've just nearly choked to death on bacon crisps!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:00, Reply)

Making any progress with the tennis coach?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Of course I'm not!
ask a boy out? Don't be silly.
(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Why not?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

...because he'll say no?
I doubt I'm his type and besides, if he knocked me back I'd still have to see him every week and it might be awkward. I'll enjoy the flirting and leave it at that, I think.
(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:30, Reply)

He might say yes though.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Of course he won't.

(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Tennis coach = gaylord

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Entirely possible
doesn't ping on my gaydar though.
(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:46, Reply)

because they-
oh, poppet got there first. then i will just repeat my mantra from the other day: THEY ARE ALL THE SAME.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Even your internet husband?

(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

see above
ESPECIALLY my internet husband.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

I like top gear, it's daft and brainless fun.
I am almost certainly not as good at giving blowjobs though.
(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths this is my favourite list.

But lack of basic hygiene, being dirty, untidy - not realising that things don't clean themselves, having a general I'll do it in five minutes attitude, lack of ambition, lack of spontenuity, not allowing me any space, following me around all the time, not being able to make a decision, not being able to stick to a decsion after being forced to make one, I could go on for hours

Basically I'm going to die alone and I'm fine with this.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

damn, looks like there is no future for us
my hygiene is good, but the rest....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I still haven't forgiven you for the vicious comment you made the other day anyway
*huffs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:25, Reply)

which one?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

A large number of men (approx 3 billion) will sleep soundly tonight
in the knowledge they won't end up with TGB.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Honestly, and this is pretty snobbish of me,
if somebody doesn't know how to behave in company I find it really embarrassing. OK, if they're willing to learn then fair enough, but a lot of people think it's stupid, or don't want to, or whatever. I'd have to get rid of them.
( Kroney, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:21, Reply)

Don't go out with common people and you'll be fine

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:22, Reply)

UR Jarvis Cocker AICMFP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I do my best, but you can't really judge people on that.
There's an unforgiveable amount of moneyed riff-raff around nowadays, who may speak in RP but have no idea how to behave. I've also been pleasantly surprised by other people who've behaved impeccably.
( Kroney, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

ooh people who make innapropriate comments all the time
*adds to list*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Yeah, but also people who dress inappropriately
or don't use the appropriate table manners etc.
( Kroney, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:31, Reply)

considering I have only ever dumped one person
my answer can only be "being my girlfriend when I want to be seeing someone else"

this does not paint me in a good light
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:26, Reply)

If they held their knife like a pen

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I fucking hate that
an inability to properly use cutlery is definitely a dumpable offence. See also: cutting everything up first, then discarding the knife, switching the fork to right hand and shovelling. Like an American.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I eat left handed
But have impeccable table manners. My wife hates it and insisted that when I meet her grandparents I eat "The proper way" as it will offend them. I struggled for about 5 minutes before she told me to switch back as I was making an ass of myself firing peas off my plate.
( Peej, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:36, Reply)

nowt wrong with eating left-handed
as long as you do it properly.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:38, Reply)

I have been dumped more time than I have dumped
But I did it for the following reasons.

1. She sort of swung her body from side to side when she walked instead of putting one foot in front of the other
2. She was obsessed with The Manic Street Preachers and Thick as fuck
3. I liked her but wasn't over my ex. So broke up with her then felt stupid
4. Got horribly clingy after just one casual fuck relationship was over pretty quick.

I have also had casual encounters where I have eventually told the girl to leave me alone as she agreed beforehand it would be a casual thing and to stop pretending she's my girlfriend.

All the other times I have been dumped. I probably deserved it. I was dumped by my first serious girlfriend and love of my life because I told her I would dump her if she didn't stop sniffing solvents. She got in first. Oh and The girl with the 30G Chesticles dumped me because I told her she was no fun to be around when she took Ketamine.
( Peej, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:33, Reply)

watching ITV
Referring to the board game as Trivial Pursuits.
Paying rent.
Drinking white wine with tomato based pasta dishes.
Keeping red wine in the fridge.
Referring to hip hop as 'rap'.
Liking trance.
Voting Tory.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Paying rent?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Yes.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Care to expand on that?
Paying rent because that makes them a whore to the capitalist machine, or because only povvos rent houses?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:47, Reply)

I wouldn't date anyone with less than a three bed apartment with Thames views and a weekend house in the country

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)

It was said in jest.
Everything else still stands.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Marry me.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:56, Reply)

It will be a black pants day for the ladies of B3ta, and Darth, the utter bender.
Of course I'll marry you.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Given that Darth guessed my underwear size correctly yesterday
It might be a double-black pants day for him.

So, where we doing this?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Wherever you want, as long as it's just the two of us.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

We will need to write our own vows based on the above.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:10, Reply)

True.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:12, Reply)

We ARE a good couple!
Apart from the last one which I'd change to 'voting' full stop.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I know baby.
I think Darth envies us.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

I know Jeff said it earlier
But not having an opinion is fucking AWFUL.

I accidentally ended up on a date last night and it was like talking to a particularly stupid shrub. No fucking clue about politics or anything whatsoever. I had to go out just to get rid, he wanted to come back to mine. So now I have a hangover and it's all his fault. Bastard.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:37, Reply)

there's a difference between not having an opinion on politics or something
and what Jeff was getting it.

Sometimes people actually don't mind what they do. I'm generally happy to go with the flow, so often don't express an opinion on what I might want for dinner, or whether I want to go out, but in respect of what you are saying I could probably talk your ear off.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:40, Reply)

I suppose Jeff's point is different
But I genuinely hate people who pay no attention to the world in general. I am indecisive as fuck, so I often don't have an opinion on where to go, what to eat etc. Seriously though, how can people not pay attention to the news?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

probably the same reason as they have no awareness of what is going on around them
when in the supermarket/high street/car

most people are stupid.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:48, Reply)

God, I was driving home last night
parked cars on the other side of the road and a car came up half in my side of the road as he passed them. Instead of pulling in and letting me past, he tried to force me to move right over to let him past and had the bare-faced gall to fucking main beam me when I refused to be bullied.

Prick.
( Kroney, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:53, Reply)

And I hate stupid people.
It is not only a dumpable offence, but come the glorious revolution, will be a hanging offence too.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Not having an opinion on politics does not necessarily mean stupid
I read the bits of news which interest me and I take a passing interest in what's going on, but I doubt I could argue vociferously about politics in any shape or form, other than that they're all the bloody same and clearly doing it wrong. That does not make me stupid, it just makes me less interested in politics than you are.
(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:05, Reply)

I didn't mean it like that
I meant people who genuinely have no idea about what's going on outside of their boring little sphere, because they're too thick to comprehend it.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:08, Reply)

OH MY GOD
WHAT ABOUT AA??
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Old Grannie's Drawers?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:44, Reply)

What?
Being engaged must have made you crazy
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Nothing to see here, let's just move on.
I saw your nana's knickers
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Having chavs in the family means dumpage for me.
She was a really good girl but I went to a family party and it was horrendous, all chavs, they even had a family singing and dancing routine which they did on stage. I was bemused and quickly broke it off.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:49, Reply)

I'd have walked out.

( Kroney, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

that's terrible. I have lots of well rough family members.
But I'm a lovely girl.
I don't deserve to be dumped for that.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:52, Reply)

her hair wasn't nearly as good as yours. I'm not mental!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

You mustn't have liked her enough.
If she was amazing and lovely and not an orange-faced WAG with violent tendencies, and you adored her, then you wouldn't have minded what miscreants had raised her.
(I hope my fella is reading this.)
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:58, Reply)

hhahahaha I'll gaz him a direct link.
You are prob right though. She did like R n B too which should have been a warning sign.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

See, now if I liked R n B, you could dump my arse.
That's far worse than the fact that my nana drinks Carlsberg out of a can with a bendy straw.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:03, Reply)

If you'd said 'mum' in that sentence I would have hailed you as a long lost sister.

(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Maybe you're my aunty!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Christ, if people dumped me based on my parents
I'd never keep a guy at all. If she was lovely what do you care that her family isn't? It's not like you have to sleep with them as well.
(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Innit.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:01, Reply)

They got on a stage and performed a well rehearsed version of thriller
followed by a sound of music number. I wanted to tear my eyes out and my ears off.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I think you were dead right.
That family sounds too weird for comfort.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Oh and not accommodating my love of cars.
There's a significant chance that if you try to make me choose between a car I love and you, I'll choose the car. Just bring me a cup of tea out to the garage occasionally and I'll love you forever.
( Kroney, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Always, always the car.
wants
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I think I'm the only person alive
that prefers the Mach 1 facelift to that.
( Kroney, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:57, Reply)

With the squarer lights?
yes, yes you are
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 11:59, Reply)

this chap
( Kroney, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Yeah it just looks all soft
Mustangs shouldn't look soft. *sadfaces*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:04, Reply)

The second one does look significantly less angry.

(berk, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Soft?
The (second) one you linked to has a nasty, modern body kit on it.

I much prefer Europeans, anyway.
( Kroney, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:09, Reply)

I love these
( Kroney, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:13, Reply)

this is my dream car

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Being a mental, opinionated, hyper-critical, hypocritical, fat, lazy old harridan.
And it still took me 15 years to get shot of the awful munter. What a tool I am.

Also : eating with your mouth open. FFS.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:02, Reply)

"Love and marriage, love and marriage",
"Goes together like a horse and carriage..."
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Not in my case!
My missus horse and carriage crashed on the way to our wedding!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 13:03, Reply)