This
If I were to get married - which I won't - I'd rather have a massive piss up and feed everyone food I've cooked myself, before spending the money I would have spent on the wedding on travelling the world, and I could get married on a beach in the sunshine wearing a pair of jeans and a bikini top. I really don't see why you should have to spend thousands of pounds on just one day, mostly on other people.
But you know. That's just me.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:57, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

^this
Apart from the bikini top.
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Woo!
topless wedding!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:01, Reply)

That's just how I roll.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Consider this
*INTERNET VALIDATION*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Woo!

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:07, Reply)

There is much, much more appeal
in spending a couple of months travelling and getting wed somewhere sandy and sunburnt, than there is in having just one day feeling uncomfortable in a very expensive, very nice dress that you can't even wear again.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Plus I hate being the centre of attention.
Despite my obvious internet attention seeking.
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Ugh I hadn't considered that aspect of it
it'd be a bit like having to give a presentation, all those staring eyes. I hate that.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Unless, you know, it's not uncomfortable
you feel fabulous, everyone treats you like the most important person in the world, all your best friends and family are there, you're in a fantastic place that you normally couldn't afford, eating lovely food and drinking nice wine then everyone has a great big party and dances around to celebrate the fact that you and your partner are totally in love and are going to spend the rest of your lives together.

But yeah, you're totally right.

Single, lonely, but totally right.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:10, Reply)

this coming from the man who thinks that a cool way to spend money is on stuff for the house
and a fence for the garden.

if this is what marriage does to you, i'll amputate my wedding ring finger right here, right now with this de-stapler.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:13, Reply)

there isn't much better than spending money on things that make your life better
every day.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:15, Reply)

yes
but if i ever get to the stage where i think that a fence for the garden is that something that makes my life better - or more better than lovely presents for the other half/family/friends, going out to hot bars and delicious restaurants, fancy haircuts, new clothes, shiny cars, even sponsoring a goat to go to school in africa - it will be time to reserve my zimmer frame at the old giffers home!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:18, Reply)

That's because you don't have a garden
but I do, and I like being in it, and unfortunately when you have a garden and it contains a fence you're duty bound to look after said fence when it rots and starts to fall down.

So that's what I'm going to do, I'm also going to redecorate my spare room so when I go in there I can go "Awwww, what a nice spare room, I will enjoy my time in here, and am happy in the knowledge that the work I did here added value to my house rather than me quite literally pissing that money down the drain in some cunt filled bar".

But since I also occasionally spend time pissing money down the drain in cunt filled bars I don't really see the problem here.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:35, Reply)

How odd
I just watched a video of a guy pissing in a cunt. Money was probably exchanged afterwards.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:42, Reply)

which bit of you was he pissing in?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:47, Reply)

The space where my soul once resided.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:48, Reply)

sensible
watertight and fairly high capacity
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:49, Reply)

I can feel it sloshing around
Like a golden washing machine.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:50, Reply)

have you seen the video of a guy throwing a brick in a washing machine?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Yes

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:56, Reply)

I'm going to do that to you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:02, Reply)

I'm imagining a kind of chin waterfall.

( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:48, Reply)

Having been in a situation where I had nowt I disagree.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I mean there is little better to do with your money
not that there is little you can do that is better, in an absolute way
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:41, Reply)

To each their own, Al
I'm not saying you - or anyone else - shouldn't have gotten married, and I'm glad you had a lovely day but it's not something I have any interest in doing. Or if by some amazing chance I do ever meet someone who changes my mind, I imagine I would still have no interest in getting married in a 'traditional' way.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:15, Reply)

You can say 'Jeff shouldn't have got married' if you like, and you'd be right.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:21, Reply)

*there there*
You weren't to know at the time, I'm sure.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:23, Reply)

He just wanted to be loved.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:27, Reply)

I still do Blousie.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Awwwwww!
*sadface*
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:31, Reply)

There's only so many times I can *there there* you inside of half an hour, Jeff.

(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:31, Reply)

I like the cut of yer jib, Al.
It's just a nice party with you and your loved ones and it doesn't have to be massive, but being served nice food is nice because that's what I do whenever I have some spare money.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:17, Reply)

my friend did the biggest white wedding i've ever seen when she got married
new years eve, marquee, fireworks, champagne like water, the lot. they split up after 3 months.

when she got married again, they had nobody there, but then had a massive party for everybody.

both were pretty special!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:19, Reply)

3 months?
That really isn't very long at all.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:22, Reply)

i'm veering towards the 'party afterwards' thing.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)

you won't have time to cook if you're getting married though will you

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Wedding BBQ!
EDIT:

Topless wedding BBQ!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:02, Reply)

careful!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Yeah, hot fat onto tits will hurt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Won't worry berk then
she's always banging on about not having any tits, despite the photographic evidence to the contrary
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Push-up bras are marvellous things...

(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I'm sure I could
unless I marry someone wildly popular I can't imagine I'd be catering for hundreds of people.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:05, Reply)

You could use the same caterers as these folk.
www.thisisbristol.co.uk/news/8203-Kentucky-Bride-Chicken/article-3219769-detail/article.html
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:07, Reply)

That's fucking rank
I'm deeply offended that you think I could be so cheap.
No more cake for you, mister.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:09, Reply)

*Sad face*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:18, Reply)

I'm pretty low maintenance
but KFC? KFC? Just no, Jeff.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:24, Reply)

hahaha KFC is Lab's favourite. He cried when the first service station we stopped at only had burger king

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:39, Reply)

So did you!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:40, Reply)

KFC is disgusting.
Chicken is not very nice. Bleugh.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Can I hire you to follow me around whenever I'm drunk
and tell me this over and over again, especially when I start looking at fried chicken places with longing in my eyes.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Fried chicken is the least of your drunken worries
it's when you're so pissed that a kebab seems like a good idea that should give you concern. Ugh. Never trust meat you can shave.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:33, Reply)

I'll steer you towards the pizza place instead and make you buy me a huge one ;)

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:47, Reply)