Get the chips on bitch.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:04, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

you two suck donkey dick

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:05, Reply)

No we don't.
Jeff sucks dog dick, and I don't suck any dick on account of being a happily married heterosexual male type bloke what likes beer and football.

Now then, slippers. And a nice, cold beer while you're at it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:10, Reply)

Hmm. I note a lack of male solidarity.
*Don't make me post the picture of the fat, topless Newcastle supporter*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:12, Reply)

I'm just acting up to your internet persona, Jeff.
Change your name to JeffTheWomanFucker, and things won't be so bad.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:13, Reply)

Pffft. But that would be LIES ON THE INTERNET.
and we can't have that.
(berk, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:15, Reply)

To be honest.
I've probably got more chance of pulling a dog* than a woman.

*No, not that I would.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:15, Reply)

in bristol this may well be true
i needed to find a five star hotel for a client do.

does bristol have such a thing?? it seems NOT.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:16, Reply)

Hotel du Vin is quite nice.
How many are you catering for?

https://www.hotelduvin.com/hotels/bristol/bristol.aspx
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:19, Reply)

i will gaz you the issue with that one!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:19, Reply)

No reply off textgirl then?

(berk, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:17, Reply)

:(
She was probably busy preparing food for Internation Women's Day and hasn't had time.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:22, Reply)

oooh
is she cheap and pikey too?

i really should quit this. someone other than jeff is going to think i mean it. and i only partly mean it. in the context of the first 3 dates or so. /wanders off muttering to self in manner of nutter or similar
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:23, Reply)

She is the cheapest pikey you'll ever come across.
I'll bet she is waiting until she can buy some 'top up credit' or whatever it's called before coming back to me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:34, Reply)

how positively vile
dump her and get someone better
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:36, Reply)

Aww, that's superlame
I feel bad for pestering you in to doing it now :(
(berk, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:24, Reply)

When are you playing tennis next?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:25, Reply)

It's very difficult to play tennis during International Wimmin's Week
Due to all the cooking and baking and fetching slippers malarkey.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:28, Reply)

Thursday
I refuse to be badgered in to blatantly getting rejected though.
(berk, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:31, Reply)

You just let me contact text-girl but get nothing in return.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:33, Reply)

Well if I'd thought she was going to be rude I wouldn't have pestered you in to doing it
I'm not that mean you know, to deliberately let you in for an emotional kicking.
Whereas I know he'll say no, so there's no point in even asking.
(berk, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:37, Reply)

How do you know he'll say no?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:49, Reply)

Well I don't KNOW
but it's an educated guess.
(berk, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:52, Reply)

Bollocks.
What have you got to lose? If he says yes, awesome. If he says no, slight embarrassment but at least you tried. Plus he might do that all embarrassed shuffley stuff that means he said no but meant yes but was too awkward to admit it and will die alone in a bungalow filled with crusty Kleenex and pictures of Cheryl Cole.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:57, Reply)

You're as bad as Jeff
and I am spectacularly bad at taking my own advice. I really don't think it's a good idea to ask, I want to be able to go to tennis every week and have a laugh, not feel like a prize idiot.

EDIT - well I often feel like a prize idiot for playing like a total spacker. In this instance I meant feeling like a prize idiot for making a spectacle of myself by asking out someone who blatantly won't be interested.
(berk, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:59, Reply)

+ Until berk hits 60
When she'll go on that Simon Cowell talent show and dazzle everyone with her performance of 'I dreamed a dream'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 0:01, Reply)

Oh god I hope Simon Cowell will be dead long before I turn 60
also, I can't sing worth a damn.
(berk, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 0:05, Reply)

You sound like me,
I spend a lot of time trying to justify my state of misery by pointing out that 'I'm not pessimistic, I'm an optimist in posession of the facts'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:59, Reply)

you suck theoretical dick
and don't you deny it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:16, Reply)

two suck donkey dick are a man, therefore I'd like to cook you some chips.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:11, Reply)

i think what is becoming clear is that we have very different definitions of "man"

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:15, Reply)

If you consider it less 'cheap and pikey', I've got no problem with you going out and buying some chips.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:17, Reply)

south of the watford gap?
those will not be proper chips.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:22, Reply)

I have never shit the bed, if that's what you mean.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:26, Reply)

it IS a good way to find a REAL man, yes

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:29, Reply)

I have never done this thing.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:34, Reply)

bet you did as a baby

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:35, Reply)

So did you.
NEEEERRRRRR!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:38, Reply)

find where i denied it
or where i said i was a man.

and the steel trap of the lawyer springs shut!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:41, Reply)

You are obviously a man
because a woman could never be a lawyer, despite this being the 21st century, unless being a lawyer involves making the tea and putting he bins out. But that's just ludicrous, right..?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:48, Reply)

you know what
looking at my workload and my sleepless nights for the near future... part of me DOES wish the feminists had left well alone...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:49, Reply)

I think you've been really sensible actually Swipe.
All these hours you're putting in now will be good training for when you're sqeezing out babies and having to feed them at all hours, whilst your bloke goes to the pub/has an affair.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:51, Reply)

Bleurgh
*shudders*
(berk, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:56, Reply)

Emily Pankhurst is buried in the next town to me you know.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:53, Reply)

If some woman wants to chain herself to some railings and suffer-a-jet-movement, then it's alright by me!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:56, Reply)

Hahahahahahaha!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:57, Reply)

Still, one perk of feminism is that you can now be as openly homophobic as you like without facing any serious consequences.
Isn't that wonderful?
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 0:02, Reply)

It's bloody marvellous.
Now piss off, you shirtlifter.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 0:09, Reply)

If your name's not Amanda Platell or Jan Moir I'm ringing the police.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 0:15, Reply)

Funnily enough, my name is Jan Moir
if you rearrange the letters and substitute them for some others.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 9 Mar 2011, 0:17, Reply)

This as well.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 8 Mar 2011, 23:05, Reply)