Your missus finally drop?

(berk, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:08, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Bingo!
10 days early and still 8lb14 shes a big girl! Details, well she went in to labour so I went to work any way. She phoned a couple of hours later and I went to the hospital just in time to sit there for 7 hours eating nik naks until I felt sick. Then she gave birth to a tiny Winston Churhill impersonator but with hair. Jumped for joy as hair is not ginger, that's 2 for 2 on the non ginger kids. She 2 and a half pounds heavier that her sister was. My wifes vagina is fully wrecked and she is worn out so blowjobs and steak are highly unlikely to be forthcoming. I haven't had any sleep for two days and have a three year old crawling on my as I type.
( Peej, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:16, Reply)

Woohoo!
Congrats buddy, did you call her "Stand Alone Complex"?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:18, Reply)

Hahahahaha!
No I still managed to get away with Leia though.
( Peej, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:19, Reply)

I'd moan about how horribly geeky that is
but that's actually really nice.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:20, Reply)

Its still horribly geeky though
though not quite as geeky as Akira. I suggested some crackers that were all refused by the wife who obviously has power of veto.
( Peej, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:22, Reply)

Congratulations sir!
So your daughters are called Akira and Leia? You are a god amongst geeks
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:21, Reply)

You are corrrect
and though you have retracted this statement you can't retract the warm fuzzy feeling it gave me to read. Who needs a steak and a blowjob off a lady when you're around.
( Peej, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:28, Reply)

His blowjobs are legendary.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:28, Reply)

I couldn't possibly take away your status as a god among men
To persuade your wife into a geeky name for your offspring once is legendary. Twice is unprecedented.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:30, Reply)

I'm lucky it was another girl
She hated all my male geeky name suggestions. "How about Obi Wan love?" "how about fuck off before I divorce you dear?"
( Peej, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:34, Reply)

Anakin isn't THAT bad, surely

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:39, Reply)

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
/ruined vader forever
( Peej, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:40, Reply)

Yay! congratulations!
I hope mother and baby (and father and toddler) are all doing well. Shame about your missus knacker but I believe these things sort themselves out; you'll both be too shattered to have sex for about three months anyway.
Decided on a name for the new arrival?
(berk, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:19, Reply)

Yup, Leia after her great great great great grandmother Princess Leia of Alderan

( Peej, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:21, Reply)

AlderaAN
I take back my previous statement
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:22, Reply)

Ok thats fine
Haven't slept more than a couple of hours since Friday so am surprised I can spell her name to be honest. I accept my fail and will learn from the mistake. May many people put padlocks through your stretched ears whilst you sleep and hide the keys.
( Peej, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:26, Reply)

Hahaha!
Casual threat of the day
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:29, Reply)

I actually came on to post a "I made a baby"thread but didn't have the heart to threadstomp you
If I can't even do that I doubt I would actually go through with my padlocking plan despite the uncontrollable urges.
( Peej, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:32, Reply)

I'll let you
Call it my congratulatory present to you upon the birth of your second child.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:33, Reply)

YAY!
I have a really old massive rusty one that I used to lock my motorbike up with, as an extra bonus its open and I have no idea where the key is.
( Peej, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:36, Reply)

Yay for gingivitus of the ears!
My piercings aren't stretched THAT much, only 8mm and 6mm
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:40, Reply)

Then I may have to tear you
again.
( Peej, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:45, Reply)

There is no response I can think of to this that doesn't make me look like a bender

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Bender

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:27, Reply)

YOUR MUM'S A BENDER

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:27, Reply)

She does fuck a bloke

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:31, Reply)

Principle characteristic of benderism
Congratulations for being man enough to envisage your parents having pop-pop
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:39, Reply)

That's some impressive geeking out right there
but still, congratulations again.
(berk, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:24, Reply)

Yay!
Congratulations!
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:24, Reply)

Woo, congrats!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:28, Reply)

Congratulations PJ.

( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:45, Reply)

What flavour Nik Naks? I love Nik Naks, I like Rib'n'Saucey ones, they're the best, followed by the pickled onion. After then, I don't mind what flavour I get, the rest are about the same.
Did you get them from a vending machine? Do you remember how many columns and rows it had? I once saw a vending machine which had 7 columns and was at 8 deep. It wasn't fully stocked, but if it was, that had a potential of 56 different types of items. You could store drinks in there as well as crisps and chocolate bars, drinks should always go in the bottom so they don't fiz up when they drop. In Japan, they have vending machines with live crabs in, can you believe that !
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:59, Reply)

If I'm honest, I agree, what flavour Nik Naks is the most important detail lacking in that post.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:01, Reply)

My friend jimmy at school told me to try the scampi ones and then smell my fingers, he then asked me what it reminds me of so I proudly told him "Scampi and lime", I thought it was a trick question.... Now I have the nickname "Scampi Boy".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:04, Reply)

There was a girl who sat at a desk behind me in the first office I worked in who regularly brought the scampi ones in for lunch
and stank out the entire office. Now whenever I see her post on Facebook I get a mental image of a bucket and spade.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:06, Reply)

You should get a picture of a bucket and spade, then tag her with it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:08, Reply)

She'd be utterly confused I'm sure
but our mutual workmates would get it. Hmmmm...
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:09, Reply)

I'll be honest
I'd be confused if I was tagged in a picture of TGB and Lenny Henry too.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Can fat transvestites get any more confused?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)

You tell me.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Well from looking at your graphs you can get more emo

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:20, Reply)

It was a multibag
containing 15 packs, 5 packs each of Rib and Saucy, Pickled Onion and Nice and Spicy. My fave are the Rib and Saucy but I love Scampi and Lemon flavour which are no longer found in the multipacks after a brief comeback in recent years. My least favourite are the nice and spicy which are neither nice or spicy. I have seen a live crab vending machine but I didn't go to a vending machine in the hospital as they have a proper shop and I went there. I didn't count how many individual nik naks there were in each pack, please forgive me this, I was a little distracted.
( Peej, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:20, Reply)