About once every 3 months I miss-scan something intentionally, like some sundried tomartos.
I put it into my bag without scanning, and quickly pay the bill and start to walk out the store, I make sure I don't make any eye contact with the security staff because then they'll know that I'm The Sunblushed Tomarto Theif. I get up the the exit expecting a cage to come out of the ground, alarms to go off and armed police to come around. I'd meakly say "Oh really? Woh', wow, sorry, here you go, £2.39, really sorry, didn't mean it", hoping they don't do a lie detector test on me like they do on Jermey Kyle. I reckon I've stolen a good £20 of goods in my life time, it's such a rush, knowing that I've mis-scanned an item. I go onto forums and talk about how they count stock-loss in their prices, that they expect it. How it's really their own fault for putting in the self checkout tills, reducing in wages and all that.

Also, strangly, every 10 times or soo I go ASDA, someone sees me smelling and squeezing fruit and veg and herbs and asks me for advice, so I taste a leef of the herb, even though I know what all the main ones taste and smell like, so I look more knowledgable, and then give them some random thing I saw James Martin do on a saturday.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:09, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I asked an Asda monky if they had any frech mint

He took me to the mince
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Is chorizo an obscure ingredient? Because I once had to explain to him that it was a saussage...."No, no, no, it's cured, should be where the Ham and Salamis are".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:12, Reply)

depends how you pronounce it, I suspect.
that tends to confuse the shelf monkeys a bit.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:29, Reply)

Oh god, this
I ordered a chicken and chorizo wrap in a bar the other day. I repeated it four times, the till monkey looking ever blanker, before one neuron fizzled fitfully in to life and she said 'oh - do you mean chore-it-zo?'
No, bintfeatures, I mean koritho. I have been to Spain and that is how they say it there, ergo that is how it is pronounced. What made me furious is that she said it like I was being the retard.
(berk, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:34, Reply)

You know what?
I've been to Germany and they pronounce it 'Deutschland'. And yet plebs over here still insist on pronouncing it the wrong way.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:37, Reply)

yeah, but that would be a different word. I think that's where they are going wrong.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:42, Reply)

Okay.
I refer you to the French pronunciation 'Pareeeeee' as opposed to our pronunciation of 'Parissss'.

If you tried the French pronunciation here, even though it is how they say it themselves, you will come across as either a total bender or a raging croissant-muncher.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:55, Reply)

Or both.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:59, Reply)

I fear that will learn you
to order anything in a Wetherspoons apart from a taxi to get the fuck out of there.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:44, Reply)

On the telly they prounce it Chore-eet-zo, appart from Jamie Oliver, who pronounces it exactly the same way but with a huge lysp.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:47, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHDsB6HOFDc&feature=player_detailpage#t=47s
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:49, Reply)

I'm pretty sure in the dim and distant past
I was told that ch is a hard c in Spanish which would make Berk right.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:51, Reply)

He prounces it sore-reet-zo
What I mean though, the objective of saying "Please may I have a chicken and chorizo wrap" would be to get a wrap containing chorizo and chicken off the menu. The completion of this objective is what you want to happen. By pronouncing it, rightly or wrongly, the spanish way, she failed in her primary objective. Therefore, did not set out to get what she wanted to achieve in an optimum way.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:59, Reply)

It's how they pronounced it
in southern Spain, when I visited. I am happy to be told I'm wrong if that someone can prove they are more right than a genuine Spanish person.
(berk, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 18:04, Reply)

It's pronounced Cho-ritso
Even by those lispy Catalunians.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:54, Reply)

There are loads of different Spanish accents in the different regions so maybe you know some who say 'core' for the first syllable.
But in Castillian Spanish, the DO have a letter 'ch' and the pronounce it the same way as we do.
They say "choreetho".
I'm with you on the 'ritz' being wrongish (but not in Southern Spain), but not on the pronouncing 'ch' as 'k'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 18:22, Reply)

He probably thought you were foreign because of your broken English.
* I asked an Asda monky if they had any frech mint*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:12, Reply)

Did he say
'they're over there by the FUCKING DICTIONARIES, YOU ILLITERATE SPASTIC'?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:21, Reply)

did you want "fresh" or "french" mint, though?
that might be where he was struggling.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:29, Reply)

You've got this all wrong, 'mince' is a local gay night club.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:38, Reply)

I thought it was DF's natural gait

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:39, Reply)

This reminds me that I need to go to Asda, it's so fucking shit there I should really find the alternative homebrand product somewhere else

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:13, Reply)

it can occasionally be worth going to ASDA
Not always, but occasionally.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:15, Reply)

It's usually good for spotting lurch type characters, but I swiftly tire of their mongstaring ways when they block up the isles the fuckers

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 17:18, Reply)