I'm sure I've mentioned this at least twice
was walking past Mrs V who was bent over picking something up from the floor. I went to spank her on the arse with a book I was holding, missed and hit myself in the eye with the spine of the book.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:06, 7 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

ha ha ha
You utter spakker
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:08, Reply)

I love this!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:09, Reply)

How hard were you going to hit her?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:10, Reply)

not all that hard
the power somehow increased when I missed.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:11, Reply)

I hope the book was called "How to spank your wife."

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:11, Reply)

I actually living room lolled at this

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:11, Reply)

You see I think you've mentioned it four or five times.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:11, Reply)

Will his lies never end?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:12, Reply)

If they do, all we'll get from him is is recycled QI facts
so I for one say 'lie on, liar'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:13, Reply)

That and smug annecdotes about his great band and gorgeous fiance and some killer wave he caught.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:19, Reply)

I resent that
I'm among the first to admit that my band is mediocre and I've never claimed to be good at surfing, just that I do it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:20, Reply)

Vippers
Your anecdotes are no match for a BBC news link
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Yeah well a bbc news link is no match for....
*static*

...

no I've got nothing.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:23, Reply)

I for one enjoy your news links

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:24, Reply)

I do too
Just not all the time. I've asked numerous questions lately
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:25, Reply)

'Why am I such a knob?'
That sort of thing?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

no one knows why you are such a knob

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Thanks pal.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:28, Reply)

you're welcome buddy

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)

notice the "at least"
I thought it wouldn't matter so much because it's a story about me hurting myself by being stupid
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:14, Reply)

It is a good story for that very reason.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)

if I hadn't hit myself quite hard in the eye
then I would have laughed quite a lot
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)

I still love this story

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:13, Reply)

It's repeated more often than 'The Simpsons' though.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:14, Reply)

though tie chompy wears to work becasue he is ker-razy!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:16, Reply)

ker-razy! a rapist.

(Sorry, I know it's not a particularly witty strikethrough, it just seems to read quite well that way.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:24, Reply)

You know what also reads quite well?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:34, Reply)

The Ihje'rzxhud'feem Trilogy by Gordon Wankstain?
He's the best new fantasy writer out there. Hands down.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)

I was waiting for crow to answer so I could respond with "fuck off cunt" or something
you've ruined it now, can't you just stop ruining /offtopic. When i first got here it was great with HSH threads and fake tea parties and a bunch of emo mentals crying about their shit lives while twats smugly gave awful advice.

You've
RUINED
IT!
(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:43, Reply)

I realise what I've done now.
I am truly sorry.

I...I guess I got drunk on my own glory, when I got on the 'Best of' page of QOTW I suppose I started seeing myself as the next Spanky. I posted something: some people 'lol'ed ...things just snowballed.....

Next thing I know I'm reduced to laughing at homosexuals just to get cheap laughs. It was wrong. So wrong. I know that now.

Thanks bro. See you later guys...well actually you won't.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Cheers

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)

do it with bleach!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:55, Reply)

And that definitely gets rid of the musky odour, right?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)

Yeah should do, use a wire brush though

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:59, Reply)

Nice one, thanks for the tip.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 16:59, Reply)

You are Hair Pot AICMFP

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 17:00, Reply)

There's a story I don't know here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 17:04, Reply)

Hair Pol
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 17:10, Reply)

*punches air*
YESSSSSSS
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 17:15, Reply)