I stayed overnight on Friday night.
Texted ex in the morning *asking* (because I fucking have to) to take little'un out. Am told yes. Take her to park, market and for sandwich at my house. My visit normally ends at 1pm - get text saying she'll be back at half one, ok? I reply yes.

At 1:35 I get screaming call shrieking about where am I etc? Bear in mind I live 5 minutes down the road. 'You said you were taking her to the park (no I didn't), why are you at yours (lunch at mine is cheaper than out)? I told you you had to be back at 1:30 (no you didn't, you said that was the time you would be home from). You can forget your meeting' etc etc

Cue me in fucking tears following an absolutely wonderful morning, followed by the inevitable epic 'self-medication' (NB I despise this American justification for self indulgence) and general misery.

Poor old Lusty, eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:05, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm so sorry to hear that
I wish your daughter could have something to say on the matter, as I'm sure she'll put your stupid ex on the right place.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:11, Reply)

On the plus side I went to Tayyabs yesterday.
It was superb.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:15, Reply)

I haven't been there yet
But should be trying it soon, I hope.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:16, Reply)

*sadface*

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:16, Reply)

It appears she thrives on fucking up your day.
I can sympathise with that, daughter's mother would take any opportunity to spoil something good by starting a fight or something to keep me under control, on edge, etc. The only thing I can suggest is do not organise such things over text messages - calls only, therefore making things easier and clearer to discuss. That, or superglue her to a bull and flick its lovespuds with a towel.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:17, Reply)

What upset me most of all
was being screamed at in front of my daughter when I took her back. She just sat in her little chair in the corner of the sitting room whilst I got it with both barrels. It was horrible.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:20, Reply)

Poor girl
It's not good for her to grow up like that. Have you tried telling your ex that that's not good for the girl? I know she's mad, but she'll still want the best for her daughter, I hope.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:22, Reply)

If she does that in front of your daughter, believe me, she will grow up knowing who's the mental and who's the (relatively) stable influence in her life.
I know it sucks balls, it's fucking horrible and I empathise every time you come back with a story like this, but I can suggest it will get easier as she gets older. Hang in there, she seems lovely and you're a (fundamentally) good person.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:23, Reply)

You poor bugger.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Talk about emasculated. I feel utterly heartbroken.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:41, Reply)

I don't blame you mate.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:44, Reply)

this is shit
How formal is your access agreement? While I applaude your desire to deal with this in a personal and non-confrontational way; - wonder if you need to consult some solicitors?
(CheatingRabbit, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:34, Reply)

He's been there and done that with no success.

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:35, Reply)

I have a fixed 3-hour weekly visit that I fought tooth and nail to get.
However now my little girl is older that's no longer sufficient and I want overnight stays at my house. To force this legally would cost thousands (I've spent six I don't have already) - I just cannot afford it, so diplomacy is my only option.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:52, Reply)

maybe your ex's objection to you taking your little girl back to your place
has something to do with the presence of the self-medication stuff you mentioned up there^^^

Just saying like, no offence
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Fuck off Bert.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 11:22, Reply)

whoa, there's no need for language like that
I'm trying to help a brother out, maybe if he cleaned up his act a little...?

It's tricky, that's what it is

It's Trick to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's Tricky... Tricky Tricky Tricky Tricky
It's Trick to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's Tricky...Tr-tr-tr-tr-tr-tricky (Tr-Tr-Tr-Tricky) Tr-tr-tr...

We are not thugs we don't use drugs but you assume on your own
They offer coke and lots of dope but we just leave it alone
It's like that y'all (y'all), but we don't quit
You keep on (rock!) shock! Cause this is it...
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 11:31, Reply)

sorry
This is doubly shit...
Diplomacy, the hope that ex will see some kind of sanity and the expectation that your daughter will eventually grasp that wasn't your fault are your weapns
(CheatingRabbit, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 11:20, Reply)

I got glastonbury tickets wooooooooooooooooooooooo

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:41, Reply)

You're not charming or witty woooooooooooooooooooo

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:44, Reply)

not woooooooooooooooooooooooo
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:46, Reply)

If you need to resort to strikethroughs, you've lost.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:48, Reply)

Woooooooooooooooooooo

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Apr 2011, 9:49, Reply)