How is everyone this evening?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:30, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

bored
alright jeff?
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:33, Reply)

I'm cooking some dinner
And I'm thinking of having a beer, the headache I've had all day has gone and I think a beer will make me feel EVEN BETTER.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:35, Reply)

Undoubtedly.
Strangely, diet coke almost always gets rid of my headaches but quite frequently makes my teeth hurt instead.
(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:39, Reply)

I'm going to have some food first, and then I'll consider the beer option.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:40, Reply)

Sensible.

(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:41, Reply)

Thanks very much.
It's not all beer, beer, beer you know.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:43, Reply)

I am debating going and getting some food
from the co-op. What should I get?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:47, Reply)

Get some Indian snacks, kettle chips and dips various.
Have a carpet picnic.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:50, Reply)

that sounds fun

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:52, Reply)

I had a carpet picnic on Monday
it was ace.
(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:52, Reply)

so have you got rug burns yet?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:53, Reply)

Hahaha.
No. I'm too vanilla for that kind of thing, sadly.
(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:53, Reply)

for sex on the carpet? i thought you said he was dirty, sex on the floor barely registers as freak i'm fairly certain

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:55, Reply)

He is dirty
whereas I have had an incredibly dull and chaste sexlife.
(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:58, Reply)

sometimes that's not such a bad thing
my experiences have proven that men believe I am a true freak
and I am not, I wish I could say mine was dull and chaste, I prefer it that way
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:00, Reply)

It's not.
it's fucking tedious and it gives you feelings of horrendous inadequacy when confronted with someone who has actually had a sexlife and whom you would very much like to impress.
(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:03, Reply)

no, no, no
you don't want to impress them, they'll think you're a hoe
nothing wrong with experimenting
nothing wrong with letting him teach you things
it's all about getting comfortable with what each person likes
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:04, Reply)

Yeah but he makes me all shy
he's like - so, tell me stuff and I'm all like - no, can't...I dunno...
(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:05, Reply)

IMHO
you shouldn't be having sex with someone if you're not comfortable saying what you like
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:15, Reply)

Nah! it takes a while to feel that comfortable with someone.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:16, Reply)

but you'd be willing to have shitty sex and be uncomfortable as opposed to saying what you like?
that's fucking stupid
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:17, Reply)

I'm not talking about shitty sex.
I'm talking about experimenting. You can have perfectly fine sex to start with without hanging off the chandeliers.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:30, Reply)

if it's not what you like then why do it?

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:38, Reply)

I agree.
You seem to be missing the point.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:41, Reply)

nevermind, just read below

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:16, Reply)

^this
But never do anything you're just not comfortable with for their sake.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:06, Reply)

Oh no, I wouldn't
but the sad truth is I haven't the first clue about most sexy type things. I wouldn't even know where to start experimenting or what is 'normal' and what isn't.
(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:08, Reply)

do not concern yourself with normal

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:10, Reply)

horribly cliche
but normal is what makes you feel good.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:10, Reply)

Yeah, I know
but I don't really know what does. It's like: all the basic stuff, yep, I like that...but there's so much stuff I don't even have a clue about.
(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:13, Reply)

Offers the scientist the 'textbook' solution to her worries.
tiny.cc/tgnj7

*runs*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:23, Reply)

Then, and this is the
best advice EVER, do some research. Find something that makes you think 'ooh I'd quite like to try that.' Then suggest it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:43, Reply)

Don't sweat it.
Let him lead. Try stuff. Some stuff you won't like and some stuff you will : D
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:13, Reply)

Yes, but he keeps asking me questions I either don't know the answer to
or I'm too shy to say. It's rubbish. I feel like I am being dull and disappointing.
(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:16, Reply)

Just be honest.
Say I haven't experimented as much as you but I'm willing for you to teach me, (if you're willing that is).

Even at my old age I can still be taught a few tricks.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:20, Reply)

I have done.
I still feel dull and disappointing.
(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:21, Reply)

Pfft!
If he starts yawning mid coitus then I'd be worried.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:24, Reply)

is he cumming?
he can't be too disappointed.
there's not much to experiment with.
try catching him off guard, going at it in public, or cooking naked
you don't have to be studying the kahma sutra to keep things spicy
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:27, Reply)

Ha, I wander about my flat naked
or semi-naked most of the time. It amuses him. And yes he does, but it always takes a while - although whether this is due to the fact that all the people I've previously slept with were crap, I'm not sure.
(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:29, Reply)

But you've said in the past that you LIKE
pub quizzes.

Does he say things like, 'I have to take your first answer' or 'I need to hurry you'

Maybe if you answer the questions correctly, you'll win a car.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:20, Reply)

Sod off, Jeff
you're not helping my woeful lack of self-confidence.
(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:22, Reply)

Lack of self confidence?
You pulled the fit tennis coach. I'd hardly call that lacking in self confidence.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:24, Reply)

Yes, but I am still amazed I actually had the balls to do so
and even more amazed that he said yes and that he apparently likes me too. My flabber is constantly gasted at the whole thing. It's all going to come tumbling down around my ears like the massive disaster it's bound to be. He's far too good for me.
(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:27, Reply)

It is impossible to love someone who can't love themself.
Enjoy your relationship for what it is, not what it might/might not be or what it might become.

Live for the moment berk. It's all about today.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:30, Reply)

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
are you TRYING to ruin it for yourself?
for fuck sake woman GET A GRIP

He's just a man, no better or worse than you.
They're not hard to please.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:31, Reply)

The are hard to please in my experience.

( girlinthehole, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:32, Reply)

See this is what pisses me off
he is gorgeous, fun, funny, cheeky, confident, musical...he's pretty much all I've ever wanted in a bloke and I am completely smitten. Ever since we first met for drinks I have been looking for the catch.
Turns out the catch is most likely to be my subconscious screwing me over, and annoying him by being an emotional angst-ridden mess to such a degree that he ditches me.
(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:38, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1177649
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:42, Reply)

^ this
Ffs berk...

Just enjoy it and relax will ya.

This is simple; boy likes girl and vice versa
(CheatingRabbit, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:55, Reply)

Well you sound less 'meh' than you did earlier.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:56, Reply)

No, I still am
I just don't think it's fair to beaker to you.
(berk, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:59, Reply)

Go on.
It'll make me feel better about my own worries.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:01, Reply)

straight to the point you get

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:54, Reply)

Jedi you not.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:56, Reply)

This actually sounds good
thanks Jeff. I think the co-op has a deal on snacks at the moment
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:57, Reply)

My pleasure Amberl.
Do you have some shit telly to watch this evening?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:59, Reply)

New episode of the Only Way is Essex
and I might download Empire Records
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:10, Reply)

Did you get involved with Babylon the other week?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:11, Reply)

I did!
It was really good. I'm definitely getting more. That reminds me, must reply to your gaz :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:36, Reply)

What, the gaz asking what time you were going to the pub LAST SATURDAY?
Tsk.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:37, Reply)

the one before :(
I only got that gaz the next day, and you never turned up!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:39, Reply)

Well I didn't know what time you were going there!
(Although as it happens, I wouldn't have made it anyway, I was feeling rotten)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:40, Reply)

5 probably will
or maybe this will
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:41, Reply)

I think the healing properties of beer are greater than that of the giraffe.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:43, Reply)

i'll bet if you listen to some mariah carey you'll feel better
of course when I say listen I mean watch a video of her shimmying around with the sound off
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:48, Reply)

Even with the sound off I think I'd find her annoying.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:51, Reply)

nicki minaj then?

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:52, Reply)

Who?
They sound like a lesbian thief.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:54, Reply)

second image may be NSFW
Nicki Minaj
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:58, Reply)

That doesn't light my candle

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:00, Reply)

you wouldn't play the congos on that arse?

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:03, Reply)

I'd give 'em a proper Democratic Republicing.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:06, Reply)

And if you get thirsty mid congo-ing.
Drink some Um Bongo.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:07, Reply)

THEY DO NOT DRINK IT IN THE CONGO
AS IT IS UNAVAILABLE THERE. FALSE ADVERTISING MAKES ME ANGRY

/hulks
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:08, Reply)

But the animals make it.
So they must drink it there.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:11, Reply)

no
it is only for export
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:11, Reply)

Um Bongo Export
Is that a bit like a stronger continental lager, only in the case of the 'Bongo, they've just made it a bit sweeter?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:13, Reply)

cutes!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:48, Reply)

my friend Laura that's just had a baby has all her baby stuffs in giraffe
surprising but mega cute, just because I reckon most people pick pooh or random pink things and all her stuff is brown
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:53, Reply)

when I went to get things for my ex-nephew
it was all about bees
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:56, Reply)

ex nephew?
bees are awesome
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 20:58, Reply)

well he was my nephew when I was married

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:05, Reply)

alright Jeff
Laughing myself silly at this and I'm really not sure why.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:03, Reply)

I'm not sure why either.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:06, Reply)

this
its shite
( zulu eh?, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 21:13, Reply)