just went to a very fancy spa and club with my friend
an hour lying in the sun, an hour facial and a massage... i feel like a lovely soft piece of spaghetti.

which is great because i was so feckin hungover this morning i thought i might actually be dead. for the thirteenth time this week.

off for dinner up in maida vale later on which will be nice too.

/swipe blog
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:19, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

sometimes i hate you

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:19, Reply)

it is so beautiful in london today
we put the roof down on the car and enjoyed hooning it around in the sunshine. however, having music that is cool enough to play in an open-top car is something of a challenge for my ipod :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:25, Reply)

when i see you
i will punch you
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:27, Reply)

i will defend myself
with my soft spongy croissant of justice.

yes. yes i do mean my stomach.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:31, Reply)

i will mash through your croissant like vipros does on a sunday morning

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I had croissants this morning.
Mmm.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:42, Reply)

i don't see the appeal
i'd rather have a[n american] biscuit any day

when i come there i'll have to make sausage gravy and biscuits for you lot
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:44, Reply)

i like scones, which are v like your biscuits
hot and covered in real butter. fuck that nasty cream and jam shit.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:46, Reply)

but SAUSAGE GRAVY
oh man, I think I may even have to just make it for dinner tonight
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:48, Reply)

is there a ruder sounding food
than "sausage gravy" ?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:50, Reply)

HAHAHA omg never even ever thought of that!
that's so getting a click

but still, when we meet, and after i punch you, you will feast on my sausage gravy
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:52, Reply)

you're kind of not helping
with the whole "rude food" thing...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:56, Reply)

i know *wink*

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:57, Reply)

what an image
gnash gnash gnash
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:42, Reply)

Join randomburn
If you're lucky you might get me
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:44, Reply)

what kind of luck would i need for that??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Dunno I'm shit at maths, there's totally 38 people signed up so you can work out the odds
One of them is Adamfrisbeecunt so that could complicate the workings
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:49, Reply)

so..... 1 in 38 then?
i thought you'd killed him off anyway?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:51, Reply)

Like yer there's five to send out though
Adams gone mental and can be found in the scrubland of Runcorn licking his genitals, sadtimes
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:53, Reply)

Oh man I could cheat and do a Whigfield megamix

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:54, Reply)

what is this whigfield thing?
you're as bad as plumdozer and his fiona bruce monologues
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:55, Reply)

Whigfield would batter Fiona Bruce

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:59, Reply)

+fanny
/'dozer fantasy
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:00, Reply)

bleurgh
well done
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:02, Reply)

isn't she about 137 by now?
*googles*

oh. oh. oh rory.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:08, Reply)

HAWT STUFF

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:11, Reply)

thanks!
but what about whigfield?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:11, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1180032
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:15, Reply)

you're just going to burn 18 different versions of "saturday night" aren't you?
mixed with salty pre-cum and saltier tears of joy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:17, Reply)

Sealed with sssssssssssmegma

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:20, Reply)

the lesser played jason donovan b-side

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:20, Reply)

i blame you
for the savage mental breakdown of a shy and sweet young boy who wanted nothing more than to make friends and play nicely
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:55, Reply)

haha
he's probably reading this. He'll gaz you now
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:00, Reply)

looking for another job maybe
edi - blimey he has actualyl deleted his profile and everything
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:08, Reply)

An internet win then

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:01, Reply)

worst of all teh wins

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:07, Reply)

why not just exchange addresses and make two?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:47, Reply)

I don't like stalkers :((

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:49, Reply)

you're probably in the wrong place then

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:53, Reply)

i did once get an unsolicited random gaz* offering exactly that
he said he could bring it round for me. what, clenched between his sweaty teeth?

(* for the record, not from rory)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:49, Reply)

by 'teeth'
do you mean 'arsecheeks'?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:08, Reply)

i sincerely hope not :(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:12, Reply)

Damn, that sounds nice
you were drunk enough last night to make many typos
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:24, Reply)

oh fuck
was i pissing around on here last night? yes. yes i was.

doom.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:25, Reply)

I don't think you did anything worse than
spell badly
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:28, Reply)

you should see some of the texts i sent
they are also illiterate
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:31, Reply)

You were also texting me about food
I didn't get pizza in the end :(

I've got 750 words! If I can do 1000 more I'm letting myself go to the pub, then coming back for a bit more. But I've been here since 11am and it's taken me that long... DEATH
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:31, Reply)

oh god oh god yes
that was fairly early on too! well done on dodging the pizza bullet. much more well done on all those words - you can bash out 250 if the pub is at the end of it...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:32, Reply)

NO I mean if I end up with 1750 or so I'm going to the pub.
"Minnie, I canna caa my wheel,
or spin the oo or twyne the tweel.
It’s luve o a laddie whammles me.
Ech, the wanchancie glamarie"

WHAT THE FUCK SCOTLAND
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:37, Reply)

there's a reason that place is bankrupt

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:43, Reply)

it's the quality of words that counts, remember
my thesis only grew about 300-400 words a day and that was at least 8 hrs a day. And I hadn't discovered b3ta, yet
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Yeah that's all nice and fluffy but it's in for Tuesday.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:38, Reply)

then just write some shit

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:43, Reply)