thu, fri, sat night last weekend
and again this weekend.

i drove one of my married schoolfriends home after a bbq the week before. he and the new wife are buying a house out in the suburbs and will be moving from zone 1 to waaaay out beyond zone 6. and he actually said to me whilst talking about living in central london: "swipe, this is a beautiful sports car. but when are you going to GROW UP?"

i was fucking outraged. what am i supposed to put in my car, my invisible child in its make-believe car seat?? so i bit my lip for a minute or two and then started talking about the long commute and how it impacted on your time together and how it was funny that everyone we know who grew up on the outskirts of london has divorced parents, whereas everyone who grew up in cheshire or somewhere less pressured had parents who were still together...

that shut him right up.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:07, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You should have slapped him
whilst explaining that not everybody is as pussy whipped and property obsessed as he is.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:09, Reply)

EXACTLY
i was really incensed - ok so maybe he thinks i need to settle down a bit instead of going out so much/with so many different people - but i think his life is pretty damn chew your own arm off boring! however, i didn't say that, because i am not rude and i didn't want to hurt his feelings! raaargh!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:12, Reply)

Is his sloany mrs
about to have 35 children thus ending any chance of excitement or angry, dirty fucking forever?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:14, Reply)

They'll be divorced before they get so old that angry dirty fucking is out of the question.

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:17, Reply)

Well if they do
let her know I am partial to the mumsy type.

They are quite easy to shock.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:19, Reply)

You either have a very large penis or an interest in S&M.

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:22, Reply)

Yes I have.
And I am colossal pervert.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:23, Reply)

Huzzah!

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:24, Reply)

man on internet is colossal perv
stop the press...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Are you 14?
Can I groom you?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:28, Reply)

lI have an image of you as a chimapnzee
with a hard on picking fleas from a slightly reluctant Swipe
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:30, Reply)

That's about right.
Only I have ginger body hair.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Orangutan, then?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:33, Reply)

*proffers banana*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Careful,
last time I did that my boss called me in for a "little chat."
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Are you suggesting she's a chimpanzee?
Edit: STOP COPYING ME
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:30, Reply)

yes! I win!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Damn my slow and knackered work computer!
Meh, it's marginally less shit and knackered than my home computer...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:32, Reply)

computer brain
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:33, Reply)

That as well.

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:35, Reply)

I was checking.
Some of them pretend to be a perv just to fit in.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:28, Reply)

This is the only website I look at
and it seems quite normal to me.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Neither. He had incest in M&S though.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Not just any old sex.....M&S sex.

( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:26, Reply)

...or a cattle prod where his penis should be

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:31, Reply)

it took him 12 years to propose
i suspect that fear of the move and becoming settled down was at the root of his comment in the first place.

anyway, i fixed him. ha!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Good going!
Cheeky cunt.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Apr 2011, 11:09, Reply)