What, like
"Hahaha, you're trying to look hot, hahaha"?

Gutted.
( Kroney, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:26, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Yes, that's the one.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 10:26, Reply)

oh in person it's amusing
it's just i went on a few dates with this guy last year who would text something slightly saucy and then follow it with *waggles eyebrows* and... it just enraged me. saucy texting is fine. following it with something like that is just offensive!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:31, Reply)

*waggles willy*
better?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:32, Reply)

hang on, i'll just zoom in
try again
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:34, Reply)

*WAGGLES HARD*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Ha, no I just usually waggle them in person.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

you can see how it could go so horribly wrong
"i'd really like to cream you" *waggles eyebrows*

no, no, no.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:34, Reply)

sexiest post EVA

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:35, Reply)

the least sexy thing i ever got
was from a rather blunt northern lad who didn't have a clue about the subtleties of talking dirty. prepare your mindbleach and...

"i want to pull your knickers down and go at your fanny for 2 hours or until you've come 3,000 times."

this is wrong on so so so many levels. but primarily the use of the words "fanny" and "knickers" in the context of wooing a girl smoothly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

*takes notes*
Keep going Swipe, this is gold.

*fires up FB chat*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:42, Reply)

fires up FB chat wanks like a chimp
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Surely the one intimates the other?

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:54, Reply)

It's called cutting to the chase, young man

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 11:06, Reply)

Lorraine or Chevy?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I liked "go at"
As in "have a right go at" or "charge like a bull at a gate".

I think he would be there for the 2 hours rather than the promised 3,000 orgasms.

If this was the Widnes lad then you have done the right thing.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:43, Reply)

how ever did you guess!
2 hours is not good. i wouldn't be able to walk for a month.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:45, Reply)

If he could keep going for 2 hours he's probably hung like a baby carrot and a couple of petit pois
Just get a film going on your laptop next to the bed
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Oh dear god
And you went out with him more than once? That's criminal.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 10:37, Reply)

to misquote anne shirley: my lovelife is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes, reverend.

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

So where did you fit in with my 'single, hot, sane' theory?
I don't think you're as old as mid-30s though are you?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 10:55, Reply)

not quite!
i am basically none of the above.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:59, Reply)

a bit single, average looking and only moderately mental?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:00, Reply)

OK, so you've got a bloke, you're not hot, and you're mental?
*wilts*
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 11:07, Reply)

i prefer this to vipros' interpretation :(
actually wait.

they're as bad as each other.

gah.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:11, Reply)

Single, hot.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:13, Reply)

Mental

( Kroney, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:15, Reply)

I wouldn't go as far as "mental".
"Weird" perhaps.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:18, Reply)

smiles for noel
ignorings for kroney
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:19, Reply)

Alright toots?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:20, Reply)

got tonsillitis
in so much pain. and i have a big night out tonight and all i want to do is swallow ice cream in a big woolly scarf!

how about you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:29, Reply)

Yeah not too bad, I had a dream about Dylan Moran and Bill Bailey and Tamsin Greig last night.
They were all hanging out and funny and stuff like they usually are. It's all a bit vague but I think they were in some kind of newsagents. Someone kept calling me Manny and flicking bees at me.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:32, Reply)

*Resists strikethrough*

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 12 May 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Vive la difference.

( Kroney, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:21, Reply)

well
now you know why
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Plus ca change
plus c'est la meme chose.
( Kroney, Thu 12 May 2011, 11:31, Reply)