I've got a few candidates... (edit: for Monty)
24/01/09, The day I broke up with my controlling, bastard ex.
11/06/10, The day I was on the barrier for AC/DC at Download with my best friend
5/11/10, The night the boy and I got together.
3-4/04/11 Something incredibly personal I don't want to share, followed by finding out I got my dream placement.

HAPPY NOW?

Alt: Freshly baked crusty loaf.

Alt alt: beakering
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:12, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You've only done anal four times?

( girlinthehole, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:13, Reply)

Not anal
Orgies.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Yes but the fourth time it went on for two days, by the looks of it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:15, Reply)

that's going to cause at least a modicum of chafing, I'll wager.

How was the 60th, chap?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:19, Reply)

My dear Mighters, it was fucking fabulous.
Nothing went wrong, my daughter was happy as a sandboy and charmed everyone - including the entire train carriage on the way back - just wonderful, thank you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:21, Reply)

excellent news.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:22, Reply)

The food and wines were superb, too. My brother in law is an expert.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:23, Reply)

"including the entire train carriage on the way back "
yeah, I'm really sure she did.

She might be lovely to you my dear boy, but rest assured that from an outside perspective she is almost certainly just as much of a little cunt as all the rest of them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:34, Reply)

There really ought to be a law forbidding them to be out in adult situations
until they're proven capable of keeping their fucking voices down.
( Kroney, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

they should be left at home after being given a sedative
so that the parents can go out and enjoy themselves without worrying that their precious angels are safe
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:40, Reply)

There were two groups of women
all of whom were saying things like 'she's much nicer than my kids lol' and 'can we keep her, she's beautiful' etc - they were a bit common.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I hope you gave them a bit of the old Agent Orange

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:52, Reply)

I pissed in their eyes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:55, Reply)

Only?
That seems like alot.

Mornin'.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Mornin.
You know what these young kids are like. No restraint.
( girlinthehole, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:18, Reply)

boot each others back doors in soon as share the time of day
these days.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:21, Reply)

*tuts, re-lights pipe and ruffles quality broadsheet*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:26, Reply)

Wow, thanks for telling us all about those days.
You're such a raconteur.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:14, Reply)

I was going to explain if anyone was interested
But if you weren't, I wasn't going to bore you.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:15, Reply)

You thought a list of dates would be less boring?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:16, Reply)

FINE

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:17, Reply)

WE'RE WAITING.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:18, Reply)

WE WON'T WAIT FOREVER.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:18, Reply)

GETTING A LITTLE BIT BORED NOW.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:18, Reply)

NO HURRY.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:19, Reply)

IN YOUR OWN TIME.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:19, Reply)

I WONDER IF THERE'S ANYTHING INTERESTING OUT THE WINDOW.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:19, Reply)

I WONDER WHERE I CAN GET THE BEST 'ALL-TERRAIN' TROUSERS FROM.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:20, Reply)

I'm so glad that you've taken such an interest, Monty
I feel so validated ONLINE.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:22, Reply)

You know, I had occasionally wondered if your endless and boring personal problems were the reason you were such a tremendous cunt.
It's nice to see that you've stuck to your guns after what sounds like a perfect Sunday rather than mellowing at all.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:22, Reply)

Oh no, this cuntitude is the real thing.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Millets.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:22, Reply)

They are, in order
The first time she nailed a poledancing move that Kitty could not do.
The day she had a particularly tasty banoffee cupcake AND the shop undercharged her.
On this day she got some shiny new Iron Fist shoes that were totally in the sale.
I actually think this was when she got the Portland Down acceptance offer, then got really drunk and danced to that Cee Lo Green 'Fuck you' song while mouthing the lyrics to her ex that she saw who was with this complete munter of a girl.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Portland Down?
Shame on you. Now I am picturing animated mongs falling in the sea.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Hahaha
I've had to explain that one so many times.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:25, Reply)

The adventures of Portland Downs.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Better that than Portland Bill, and the eyes of death.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:26, Reply)

You want me to post the pic, don't you

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:28, Reply)

AAAIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

This is one time that i'm not bothered by my ignorance

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Actually do you know what, that list of dates might be better after all.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Oh for fucks sake.
You would have been more entertained if I'd made shit up.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Almost certainly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:30, Reply)

Well it's too late now.
You'll just have to live with it. I'm not changing it again.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:31, Reply)

You could always delete the whole thing
and start a new thread apologising to everyone for wasting their time?

I really think you should, don't you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

but without the apology

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Actually yeah just go, OK?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:35, Reply)

:(
Oh alright then.
I should be revising anyway.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Not really. You are missed round here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:50, Reply)

Did you have a gig this weekend?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:35, Reply)

yeah, friday night.
mixed bag. second half was great, we played well and our new songs were good.

first half though, we were a bit rusty, but the audience was the worst we've ever had. Half the songs received no response at all, literally nothing.

The imbecile who runs the pub had got a couple of guys to play in between our sets as well. They were called Disney Rascal, and for some reason had chosen to perform Disney songs. I'm pleased to say that they went down even worse than we did.

I suspect the pints were dodgy, because we all felt rough after the gig. They did pay us £280 though, so can't complain too much.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:39, Reply)

I fear he booked 'Disney Rascal'
because he saw the name of your band and thought, 'right, comedy night it is, then'.

For some reason getting paid for a shit gig makes it a bit more bearable, eh? I once got paid £50 for DJing when I didn't play a single record. That was good.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:50, Reply)

could be the case.
but the guy is generally regarded as a moron.

It's somewhere we play regularly, and it'll be the sort of place where we'll play a blinder, there'll be a smattering of applause through the set, we'll play the last song and they'll go mental and scream for an encore. Or you come off and people are coming up to going "that was really good, really enjoyed it"

Why don't you fucking show it at the time then you cunts?

getting paid does help. I'm skint as fuck at the moment and an extra £70 has come in very handy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:52, Reply)

No.
I'm going to leave it there in defiance.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:35, Reply)

^ Ladies and gentlemen, punk is still alive

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:38, Reply)

is no post at all too much to ask for?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:31, Reply)

Yes.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:31, Reply)

ffs

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:33, Reply)

I haven't known Kitty that long
The iron fists one is a good guess, the day I bought my babies would have been up there, had it not been marred by having to see my spoilt brat Canadian cousins and whiny beaker aunt.

And the last one is half right. If you'd got the name right.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:27, Reply)

It was actually Al Green?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:28, Reply)

I couldn't be bothered Googling the name
And the name meant nothing to me anyway. Glad it was kinda right though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 May 2011, 10:28, Reply)