i went on a hen-do in manchester on sat
that lamarrs bar is literally chock-full of hot guys, isn't it??

i nearly knocked some guy on crutches flying, and my drunken idea of an apology was "sorry, but if i see a cripple, i always have to nail them." he didn't take it in the spirit it was intended.

and my friend had a 6'4 tranny stand on her foot in stilettoes. she has a purple hole in her foot now.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:54, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Sounds like a standard night in Manchester to me!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Is this gonz in disguise?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:56, Reply)

When Gonz dresses as Swipey he's too busy to write anything.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

*FRANK AND BEANS FRANK AND BEANS*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Girlfriend schmirlfriend
Oh I'm not supposed to say that.

I was following a woman (not like that) into my building on Saturday night, she was wearing a really tiny dress and really high heels and I thought to myself "women who dress too sluttily often look like trannies", then when she held the door open for me and I thanked her she said "you're welcome" in a deep voice.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 May 2011, 11:58, Reply)

it was VERY annoying
usually you are talking yourself into fancying someone whilst ignoring the voices that are screaming, "but he's shorter than you" or "but he smokes" or "but he has shit-for-brains" or "but he's ginger" or "but he is wearing THAT shirt" or "but look at his tiny little hands, he's like a goblin"... this one was perfect. sigh.

i don't get massive trannies. clearly you're not going to fool anyone with your dustbin lid hands and your massive adam's apple and your 5 o'clock shadow that sprouts hairily everywhere by lunchtime. why bother?!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:02, Reply)

I thought you were talking directly to me about the massive hands then

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:05, Reply)

why, do you have massive hands??

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:16, Reply)

I can't use touch screen things very well
I tend to mash them. I accidentally poked someone on facebook instead of removing the poke because I hate him.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:18, Reply)

As big as Al's dinnerplates

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)

haha nothing's that big

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:20, Reply)

You could totally use your massive hands for evil
Like holding the world to ransom, saying you'll block out the sun unless they give you one million dollars.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:30, Reply)

I'm going to slap you into next month.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:36, Reply)

That'll solve the issue of how I'm going to feed myself until payday rolls around

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Because they feel pretty

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:06, Reply)

but they don't look it
this one was like an unleashed beast marauding around on its stilettoes ruining people's feet!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:16, Reply)

This is true

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)

the same could be said of ugly women though
everyone needs to feel pretty!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:20, Reply)

i still think there has to come a point when these 16 stone rugby players need to look in the mirror
and think, "give it up as a bad job"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Same goes for 16 stone rugby ball shaped women

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:26, Reply)

I could not agree more.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:29, Reply)

yes
this too
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:39, Reply)

:( :(

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 16 May 2011, 13:17, Reply)

tldr - gaz us ya tits instead

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:00, Reply)

you are right
edited to make it more readable for lazy arses...!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Much better
stupid cripple getting in your way, and turning down full sex with an amply chested minx!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:07, Reply)

he was actually quite hot
and it was only his foot that was strapped up, so it was clearly a beer-injury of some sort.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:15, Reply)

he probably injured it building a playground for under privileged kids
you bitch.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)

good
let's hope he took a few of the snotty-nosed little organ-donors with him.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:24, Reply)

ha that shocked me a little bit

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:27, Reply)

i am in a snarly feral mood today!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:39, Reply)

*pokes with stick*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:44, Reply)

we should start a club
I'm disproportionately angry today.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Have a smoke

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:47, Reply)

not an option

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:48, Reply)

Have a "brownie"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:48, Reply)

racist

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:49, Reply)

I'm not being racist, but I much prefer museli to granola

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 16 May 2011, 12:50, Reply)