I've just taken receipt of the keys for my new office
which is now a mere 1.5 miles from my house so I can actually run to work should I so desire (or walk, or catch the bus).

The lady who manages the centre is quite fine too.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:15, 61 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I intend to kill you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:17, Reply)

If you invite me (and Mrs Al, CHCB and Catface)
to your wedding, then you could do it then.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:22, Reply)

that's true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:25, Reply)

And you'll have an excuse for sweating and breathing heavily when you talk to her

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:18, Reply)

What excuse should I give for touching myself at the same time?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:22, Reply)

being a habitual pervert

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:23, Reply)

Tell her she should be flattered as it means you think she's fit innit.

( wanderlust, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Yeah, what's her bleedin' problem, eh?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:28, Reply)

My kidneys hurt.

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Then what happened?

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:29, Reply)

Did you enjoy my bash?

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:30, Reply)

I bashed like I've never bashed before :) :) :) :) :) :)

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Me too.

( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:33, Reply)

*bash FIVES*

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Back at you broadsword.
Same thing again next year?
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:34, Reply)

FUCK YEAH! :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:35, Reply)

saw some breasts

(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:31, Reply)

Perky?

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:32, Reply)

Pinky.
/Jeff
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Where is the question Al?!?!?!
WHERE IS THE QUESTION?!!!

Also when do you next want to go for ribs?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:37, Reply)

I think at this time of the day it defaults to a lunchtime thread.
I'm having a Radient Ranbow Layers
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Sounds gay

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Oh man, yeah', I guess I am flying the culonary rainbow flag here.
I best have some sort of beef for dinner or something
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:42, Reply)

u o
( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:46, Reply)

That took me far too long to work out.
I must be getting slow.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 12:47, Reply)

I find it's best to copy'n'paste it and then do the replacement
Oh man, yeah', I guess I am flying the colonary rainbow flag here.
I best have some sort of beef for dinner or something

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh, I mis-spelt it, I always get that word wrong.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:48, Reply)

that every
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 12:50, Reply)

Arf

( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:53, Reply)

No, that is not true, I got the world "I", "always", "get", "that", "word", "wrong" correct.
Please don't continue the misbelief that I spell every word wrong; it's just some of them.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:56, Reply)

it's lunchtime?
great news!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:40, Reply)

Are you hitting that? Are you hitting that hard? Dayum man, you be a bad ass mother fucker.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:37, Reply)

First exam done!

And you should definitely run the distance

And because I missed the last thread, I'm excited about seeing GACKT
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:48, Reply)

Well done you!
You should totally have a gin to celebrate.

Also: I have no idea who or what that is.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 12:50, Reply)

I'm off the gin
until the end of examing.

Gackt is a ridiculously pretty Japanese rockstar, who rarely tours England. It'll be like being thirteen again
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:54, Reply)

I am currently experiencing a bit of 'being thriteen again'
It fucking sucks.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 12:55, Reply)

aw what's up b3th?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:58, Reply)

meh. Nothing much.
Just having a bit of an emo period. When you're 17 that's embarrassing. When you're 37, it's downright tragic.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 13:01, Reply)

everyone has down days
nothing emo about it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:02, Reply)

Unless she's wearing black eyeliner and drawing red lines on her arms

(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:05, Reply)

In which case I'll judge her something wicked
how are you Al?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:06, Reply)

I like the only track of his I know - 'Redemption'

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:57, Reply)

That's a really nice song
suspect you might like this one www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGzMSnfjOxc or Last Song
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:59, Reply)

Cheers, shall give them a listen later

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:06, Reply)

I was off the gin for a day or so.
Got squiffy enough to volunteer to try to play the drums at a jam on Sat night, only problem being that the competitively-priced (read "slightly shabby") pub had run out of tonic. I had thus been quaffing cheap gimlets for too long.

I totally missed the rhythm that the guitarist was trying to set up, so I gracefully conceded defeat quickly. My erstwhile replacement, however, helped me to look relatively sober by missing the drum-stool altogether. I still felt ill for most of Sunday though.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:06, Reply)

I don't see a question, so I'm going to bang on about lunch
I have a big bowl of crunchy oat granola, as I didn't have any mutherfucking breakfast. Beat that, slags!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 12:49, Reply)

Heinz BIG Soup - Lamb and Vegetable
and some dry toast. I badly need to shop.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Oh, get me some bread when you go, will you?
I'm out of bread.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 12:56, Reply)

I'll post you a couple of slices

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:06, Reply)

Did you know...
That the human body is the most efficient way to convert baked beans to methane. FACT.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Did you know...
If you call your child Rupert and he's ginger he's 22% more likely to have his lunch stolen at school.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:59, Reply)

or appear in a Harry Potter film

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 31 May 2011, 13:02, Reply)

Sweet, you lucky git!
Lunch for me is sausage casserole today
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 May 2011, 12:57, Reply)

that's nice

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:05, Reply)

They shouldn't allow you to run

( Peej, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:09, Reply)

I fucking love this so much.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:27, Reply)

so much that he'd wank on his keyboard with happiness
if only he could find his penis beneath the monsterous rolls of fat
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:29, Reply)

Aww and you put it on your profile too
I'm honoured.
( Peej, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:32, Reply)

hahahaha

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:30, Reply)

Woo(f)!
www.telegraph.co.uk/family/pets/8537135/Online-doggy-dating-by-Kennel-Club.html
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:16, Reply)

The word to remember here Jeff is 'pedigree'.
You will have no chance.
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:18, Reply)

I'm all class Blousie.
I ain't no mong(rel).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 31 May 2011, 13:23, Reply)