I've missed this Monters
Synopsis/linky please.

You speak DJ - if I were to tell you that I was at a very goth-orientated wedding on Saturday, and in the context of all the 80s synthpop thought I was well within my rights to ask for True Faith by New Order, and was told by the DJ "Erm probably got it somewhere for you mate, I'll play you some New Order anyway", what does this translate to?

Serious answer please. Not "New Order are fucking shit".
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:09, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

See the last thread.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 May 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Or, succinctly put
my stepson has been a sneaky, lying little cunt with no sense of propriety over the weekend whist we were away.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 May 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Christ
Just caught up. I have no advice to offer better than your key removal plan I'm afraid sir. My condolences on this extremely disappointing turn of events.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:22, Reply)

he thought you were coming onto him

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Oh...
Well that explains EVERYTHING
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Yes, everything that has every happened in your life.

(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:17, Reply)

I thought so

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Yeah, it's one of those pivotal moments in time that the Doctor bangs on about

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:24, Reply)

It translates to
'Look I do this for a living. I didn't leave the house with no idea what I was going to play - I have A SET. If New Order is in it then I shall play it – I do not need the help of some drunken spasmo with a ludicrous barnet and sequined high-waisted trousers on asking me for requests like it’s a fucking 1980s roller disco. Why won’t he fuck off? My God! He looks just like that poofter off ‘The Weakest Link’ that I and all my mates were laughing at so much! I wonder if it’s him. Christ, New Order are so fucking shit.’
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:17, Reply)

No it doesn't
The correct answer is much shorter, simpler and less amusing. I can assure you the guy was no more a professional DJ than I am with my once-a-month metal night, and he was openly taking requests. Have another go.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:24, Reply)

oh, you have an actual answer?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Yes, the actual translation is
"I'm going to play Blue Monday, more people will dance to that".

Upon returning to my table I told Ms Foxtrot this, and then claimed to be psychic when Blue Monday started up two songs later. She was unimpressed.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:34, Reply)

that makes sense
if I'd known at the outset there was a real answer that is probably what I would've guessed.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:37, Reply)

Fair play to the guy
DJing is a numbers game, you look silly if no-one is dancing. This is where Monty chips in with how he DJed to educate, not entertain.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:38, Reply)

I'm surprised
I would much rather dance to True Faith than Blue Monday. I always thought Blue Monday was massively overated
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:43, Reply)

I prefer True Faith as well
but Blue Monday is more instantly recognisable. To give you an example, which I'm sure you'll appreciate, I get asked for "Walk" by Pantera more than anything else, by far. Is it their best song? No.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:45, Reply)

No, they're asking you to 'walk' as in 'fuck off'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:50, Reply)

You let me know when you say something funny
so I can be sure to laugh on queue
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:53, Reply)

I would always ask for "Fucking Hostile"
Or "Cowboys from Hell"
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:54, Reply)

Abso-bloody-exactly
Excellent choices both. Not that Walk isn't a top tune.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Fucking Hostile is on my randomburn
I'm rather glad it's random, as I would have really fucking struggled to pick a Pantera track to put on there.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:57, Reply)

or "on cue" perhaps?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:56, Reply)

Nope
I'm assuming that Monty's consistent unfunny baiting is lulling us into a false sense of security, preparing for something so fucking hilarious that people will be queueing up for their chance to witness it.

Yes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:57, Reply)

I'll stand aside and let you hold court with your trademark hilarious asides instead then.
In your own time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:59, Reply)

No hurry.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:59, Reply)

That was a mite uncalled for
Apologies. Just having a shite day, more easily riled than usual.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:07, Reply)

I did wonder. I am sorry myself.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:11, Reply)

It's fine, I had no plans anyway.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:00, Reply)

I go home at six.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:00, Reply)

I'm going for a coffee. Back in a minute.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:01, Reply)

I think I might go to bed now.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:02, Reply)

*makes cocoa*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 16:05, Reply)

No one else is even trying.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:58, Reply)

Blue Monday is the closest thing to a non-shit record they have.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:38, Reply)

Orgy's version is far superior.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:39, Reply)

I was going to mention that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:42, Reply)

I disagree
But only because I grew up with the original. If my maths serves me right you'd have been the perfect age to appreciate Orgy's cover when released. And it is a belter.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:42, Reply)

I am sure it is.
Not in itself much of an achievement.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:43, Reply)

OK
'Wow! A request for New Order from an openly-gay man! Quelle surprise! I'm going to really mess with his head now, by playing 'Fuck That Shit' by CombiChrist TWELVE TIMES IN A ROW!!!!!'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 31 May 2011, 15:31, Reply)