OMG it's totally BGB's birthday \o/
I can't post on here 'til after 4pm tomorrow, so I'd like to take this opportunity to say how utterly fabulous she is! I can categorically declare that I love BGB so much, I'd crawl a mile over broken glass just to poke match sticks in her shite \o/
Unfortunately, she won't receive our presents from us on the day. In one of the shops in which I purchased a present for the lovely lady, I encountered such a conscientious assistant whom can only be compared to Rowan Atkinson's character in "Love Actually". Being the altruistic professional that he is, I was offered a gift wrapping service. "That would be most helpful", replied I, being an utter fucktard with wrapping skillz.
Mr "Atkinson Clone" proceeded to list the various patterns of wrapping paper from which to choose. As soon as he mentioned "balloons" I exclaimed, "Balloons are perfect! Can we use that paper please?"
"Ahah, wait a moment madam..." quoth he, "I also have silver paper, a flowery design.... here's one with pink hearts....."
"The balloons will fit the bill nicely, thank you."
"OOOOH, I've found some gold paper down here!"
"Thank you, but the balloon paper is just the ticket for the lady recipient of this gift."
"Are you sure madam? There is also some purple swirly paper underneath the pile..."
"BALLOONS ARE GOOD! CAN I PLEASE JUST HAVE THE BALLOON PAPER!?"
"Why, yes, of course madam!"
*several minutes of OCD/autistic wrapping of present*
Gift is perfectly wrapped \o/
"Now, madam, would you care to choose some ribbon?"
Glancing at my watch, not wanting to miss the post office, nor hurt the kind gentleman's feelings, I nodded enthusiastically. "We have pink, gold, purple..."
"Purple will be splendid with the colour scheme of the balloon paper!"
"Hold on a moment madam.... I have silver ribbon.."
"JUST TIE THE FUCKING PURPLE RIBBON ON THE BASTARDING BOX PLEASE!"
"Very well, madam, purple ribbon it shall be."
*****20 minutes later******
"I'm awfully sorry madam; this shop does not have a "chip and pin" facility - I shall require you to place your card in this archaic 20th century "clunk&chunk" machine of mine. I need to telephone The Bank People in order to obtain verification of your card...."

Forty-five bastarding minutes after choosing BGB's gift (perfectly wrapped) I left the shop, having missed the post office by 15 minutes.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOUSIE! xxx

How much do you love BGB and why? Bonus points for norks comments :)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 0:10, 39 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

LOTS.
Does it really need explaining? It's Bee. GEE. BEE.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 14 Jun 2011, 0:14, Reply)

WOOHOO!
*runs around with shirt over head*
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 0:15, Reply)

I love Blousie.
Not just because I can't sleep and she agreed to be my Internet husband.

I toyed with the idea of sending her a birthday greeting via the medium of 'the text message' at midnight, but I thought she might wake up and need to go for a piss, thus putting her sleeping pattern out a bit. So I decided against it.

I've even updated the Blousie song!

gobarbra.com/hit/new-5c4fbc45cf5769e398934ce707a13c6a
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 0:14, Reply)

Jeff, I do believe you've just won the internet :D xxx

( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 0:18, Reply)

How have I won it?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 0:18, Reply)

Babs Streisand and stuff innit?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 14 Jun 2011, 0:23, Reply)

This is the original version
gobarbra.com/hit/new-7582fccb326fa15522a3e0019d8770dc

I had visions of Blousie jumping out of bed to her ipod docking teas-maid and doing hundreds of star jumps before setting the world to right/doing her job/fighting crime
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 0:24, Reply)

My dear,
you've won hats down with your special link :)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 0:51, Reply)

What about
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZCtgFmQvjQ
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 1:07, Reply)

Nah.
Blousie is surely more

www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPGHES6rPDc
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 1:14, Reply)

What about
www.youtube.com/watch?v=749c57jK7EU
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 1:21, Reply)

OR EVEN
www.youtube.com/watch?v=nj_fCafGJoo
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 1:26, Reply)

reasons why i love bgb, by kristine aged 28.3
Because she never lies
Because she has lovely eyes
Because her tits are massive
Because she is mostly passive
Because she is half gay
Because she wasn't born in may
Because she is really smart
Because she has a warm heart

Yay Happy Birthday lovely Blousie!
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 3:03, Reply)

I fucking love this
and have clicked accordingly
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:54, Reply)

I think Blousie is great.
That is all.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 6:55, Reply)

*wells up*
Thank you peeps.

Today will mostly be spent not acting my age.
( girlinthehole, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:01, Reply)

Have a wank
You deserve it!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:26, Reply)

I may get little Jeff out tonight and indulge.

( girlinthehole, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:29, Reply)

Happy birthday Blousie!!
Beardy man-hugs from your favourite internet cripple. I shall celebrate this evening by drinking red wine in your honour!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:39, Reply)

I love Blousie
as she is the first person on here who I had a conversation with and she was lovely. I cannot comment on her norks but I would imagine great things
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:55, Reply)

I'll talk to anybody.

( girlinthehole, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:58, Reply)

*Waves!*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Hi hon!
First wave of the day is always the best.
( girlinthehole, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:01, Reply)

I hope you're having a good day
And that you got lots of cards and pressies.

*Offers Blousie cake*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:03, Reply)

Thanks Jeff.

( girlinthehole, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:09, Reply)

This must be true

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:13, Reply)

I've never met her.
But she seems to be a lovely person with a delightfully odd sense of humour. Either way,

Happy birthday Blousie!
(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:06, Reply)

Happy Birthday Blousie
I can't think of anything witty to say. Sorry.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:07, Reply)

What a horrible let-down.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:46, Reply)

that's what your mum said :-(

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:47, Reply)

Happy birthday Blousie! x

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:09, Reply)

I love her so much I'm typing this
Which is difficult because I can barely move my index finger on my left hand, making my CTRL+TAB significantly slower, so I am running the risk of trouble by wishing her a Happy Birthday!

Her house is awesome, I met fantastic people there, and despite me always being a little shitbag, she's always fairly nice to me!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:13, Reply)

Stop fingering bottles then

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:14, Reply)

I wasn't fingering it, I was trying to open it
It's not my fault I'm so MIGHTY that it broke, and cut my finger.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:15, Reply)

Any excuse.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:16, Reply)

She didn't call me a spastic for sending glass through the post

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:29, Reply)

Haha! I forgot about that.
You numpty.
( girlinthehole, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 9:31, Reply)

My love for BGB knows no bounds...

In fact, every Tuesday at 10:56 I literally explode with whopping lurve for the 'First Lady of B3ta'; She with the warm heart of gold, the tender spirit of an angel, and the sublime and fulsome norkage of...someone with gert jubblies.

So, without further ado, I plan to grow one of my larger lob-ons, and write her name on it as a modest tribute to her greatness.

Just the initials, obv

Now, what's the time?... AAAARrrrrgggghhhhhHH!!!


*spoffs*

Happy Birthday kitten.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 14 Jun 2011, 10:55, Reply)

hahaha!
Love you too hon!!!
( girlinthehole, Tue 14 Jun 2011, 11:05, Reply)