Yes please

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:39, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

My life sucks and I have no friends and no money and waah waah waah.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:49, Reply)

There there.
I'm in full internet sympathy mode today.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:51, Reply)

You just need a good old thrump up the knickers, that'll sort you out.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:56, Reply)

How are you today Gonz?
*genuine sympathy and interest*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Hello lovely !
I'm doing alright today, getting well stuck into my work, it's good stuff.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:03, Reply)

I hope your friend is coping well.
I'm a nice person, really.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:05, Reply)

You're practaclly fabulous in each and every way =)
I don't think it's hit home yet, it will do once all the stuff they need to get done, gets done. Apparerntly he was on a jetski with his son at the time, I can't even begin to imagine how hard that must be for the son.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:13, Reply)

*sadfaces*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Still, I guess if I was gonna go, a few weeks of partying hard in the states and going out on a jetski in the open water has got to be right up there.
Must have been quick.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Burial at sea?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:31, Reply)

I read that as 'trump'
*Farty lolz*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:59, Reply)

You got married all lovely to your true love only a year ago!
And I'm your friend, ish.
I can't help with the money though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Woo Hoo!
I have an ish friend!

As DJ says, relatives are not friends. You can't be both.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:13, Reply)

I'll be your friend.
I'd rather sit and swear with you than have you lay guilt trips on me or say "Blimey that's a fine big arse on our Roota!" like my blood relatives do.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Yay!
And you can promise not to make jokes about my enormous boobs like all my relatives do.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Mine do that to me and they're nowhere near as big as yours.
"Move them out of my way!" etc.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Mum's favourite joke is to wear one of my bras on her head
while shouting "I can get my whole head in here!".

It's hilarious, as you can imagine.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:20, Reply)

I have to say, before my chest happened, me and my dad used to run down the stairs with a head in each cup of one of mummy's bras

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Your own heads presumably?

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Of course

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Hilarious.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:24, Reply)

We thought so.
We made a noise like a cross between a vehicle and a psychopath.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:30, Reply)