Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Oh manNot sure if you lot remember me running on and on about the wedding I had to do last year, where I officiated, did all the writing and stuff.
Well, they've only gone and broke up and it's not even been a year.
What did you have high hopes for but failed miserably at?
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:37,
182 replies,
latest was 15 years ago)
MY LIFEDo I need to elaborate further....?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:38,
Reply)
Yes please(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:39,
Reply)
My life sucks and I have no friends and no money and waah waah waah.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:49,
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There there.I'm in full internet sympathy mode today.
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Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:51,
Reply)
You just need a good old thrump up the knickers, that'll sort you out.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:56,
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How are you today Gonz?*genuine sympathy and interest*
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:59,
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Hello lovely !I'm doing alright today, getting well stuck into my work, it's good stuff.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:03,
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I hope your friend is coping well.I'm a nice person, really.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:05,
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You're practaclly fabulous in each and every way =)I don't think it's hit home yet, it will do once all the stuff they need to get done, gets done. Apparerntly he was on a jetski with his son at the time, I can't even begin to imagine how hard that must be for the son.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:13,
Reply)
Still, I guess if I was gonna go, a few weeks of partying hard in the states and going out on a jetski in the open water has got to be right up there.Must have been quick.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:18,
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I read that as 'trump'*Farty lolz*
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:59,
Reply)
You got married all lovely to your true love only a year ago! And I'm your friend, ish.
I can't help with the money though.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:06,
Reply)
Woo Hoo!I have an ish friend!
As DJ says, relatives are not friends. You can't be both.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:13,
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I'll be your friend.I'd rather sit and swear with you than have you lay guilt trips on me or say "Blimey that's a fine big arse on our Roota!" like my blood relatives do.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:16,
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Yay!And you can promise not to make jokes about my enormous boobs like all my relatives do.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:17,
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Mine do that to me and they're nowhere near as big as yours."Move them out of my way!" etc.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:19,
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Mum's favourite joke is to wear one of my bras on her headwhile shouting "I can get my whole head in here!".
It's hilarious, as you can imagine.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:20,
Reply)
I have to say, before my chest happened, me and my dad used to run down the stairs with a head in each cup of one of mummy's bras(
Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:21,
Reply)
Your own heads presumably?(
Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:23,
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We thought so.We made a noise like a cross between a vehicle and a psychopath.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:30,
Reply)
You could go on the pier.That might cheer you up a bit.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:41,
Reply)
Apparently their wedding was "fucking shit" and they never got over it(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:41,
Reply)
Because the one is a cheater. Always has been, always will be. That's how they got together in the first place.she hadn't even written her vows until she was saying them
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:43,
Reply)
Freestyle!Out of interest, why did you officiate the wedding. Isn't that a job for someone who has been given special
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:50,
Reply)
because I randomly became a reverend on that website that will give it to anyone and I told them about it when I was drunk one nightand so they asked me to do it for them
even though it's not legal
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:54,
Reply)
So they aren't really married.In which case, I wouldn't worry about it. But I would ask for the toaster back.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:01,
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It's because they're lezbeenz I didn't buy them a gift, I figured just allowing them to be in my presence was good enough.
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:03,
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And now they've partedI hope they said, 'lesbefriends'
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:11,
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clever! unlikely! it's always something with these two though, they'll be back together in a few months
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:13,
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I've got no idea what that means.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:31,
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break the fuck up for good and leave each other along, get new friends, perhaps move away(
Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:34,
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Tell it like it is and don't hold back!How is Echo now, back to normal following the op?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:35,
Reply)
she's still very strong willed and when when wants to jump on people, she wants to do itshe was pretty good this weekend as she was heavily medicated and she tends to listen when she's heavily medicated
will start to pounce on training now to get her to act right
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:40,
Reply)
Enough people make a mockorary of the institution that is marridge.They should make penaltys for failing, like they have to chop off their wedding ring finger.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:02,
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it's pretty ridiculous, 90Nz0My mate Karen was just telling me about how she had to play marriage counselor to her brother and his wife, apparently the largest problem they had with eachother was she didn't get to watch her tv shows.
How fucking pathetic is that? Grow the fuck up already.
I think it's ridiculous that someone as fabulous as I am is single yet these twats are married all over the place.
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:06,
Reply)
Imagine how you'd feel if you got married and your husband said, 'No more N-Dubz' (
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:12,
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anyone in their right mind(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:15,
Reply)
Tough love.You would appreciate it in the long run.
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Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:20,
Reply)
If they're about to break up, can't I just continue to listen to the cds I already have?(
Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:21,
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No, it would have to be cold turkeyIt's the only way to save your soul.
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Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:24,
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IF LOVING N-DUBZ IS WRONG I DON'T WANNA BE RIGHT.(
Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:26,
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Maybe it's your fondness for N-Dubz that has left you on the shelf.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:23,
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That would only explain why I've been single the last year. I guess it's my Shrek like features that do it, really.
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:23,
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I seriously think it's a crime that me and you are on the shelf when so many others aren't.For the record, I'd totally let you watch the US version of Shameless if I can watch my 'oaks. And I think the US version of The Office is better than the UK one.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:17,
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Right!I don't know what Shameless is but you can watch all the Hollyoaks you want as long as I can drool over True Blood.
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:19,
Reply)
When you two get married you should break with tradition and instead of having champagne for the toastsYou should have Yop!
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:24,
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Would you please be upstanding and raise your
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:37,
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haha nobody loves you(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:58,
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I was going to sympathy reply but then I did other things that were more important (
Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:00,
Reply)
The Third Reichand Tab Clear
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:45,
Reply)
pepsi crystal was amazing thoughthey should bring that back
wtf were they thinking
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:46,
Reply)
we didn't get that over here. Was it the same concept as tab clear?How are you doing pal?
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:47,
Reply)
good, annoyed that the swimming pool was closed for aqua aerobicsand there were no more than ten people doing it! the whole pool closed for it. So went to the gym instead.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:57,
Reply)
ah man, I fucking love swimming poolswe have night swim here sometimes
which is awesome
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:18,
Reply)
my neighbor has a pool and he comes into my office all of the time he's known me since I was born and my dad used to work for him when he was younger
I'm always like "hey when can I come over and get in your pool" and he's all "Whenever you want!" and I'm all YESSS! But I don't think I could do that, I'd feel like I'm imposing. Although it would be so awesome to just walk down the street to get in the pool.
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:28,
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You know what they need to bring back?Caffeine free Pepsi. Then I could drink in the evenings and still sleep at night.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:48,
Reply)
YeahYou can get it here by mail order, but it's something like £1 a can.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 13:58,
Reply)
I think the word I'd use is 'ridiculous', but yeah.I can't drink Coke any more, because I appear to be allergic to something in it, but I don't have the same problem with Pepsi.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:04,
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my friend has siliac so she can't drink any dark soda(
Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:15,
Reply)
Not if it's caffeine-freeIt's no high at all.
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Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:04,
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I've always wondered why can get caffeine free diet coke here and not regular coke(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:23,
Reply)
Nothing so far, I've achieved a few of my dreams, which is nice.What's with all the emo-ing?
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:00, Reply)
oh come onyou must have failed miserably at something
was is washing yourself over the weekend?
I reckon it's because it's raining out.
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:01,
Reply)
No, not really.Unless you count finding a life partner, but I'm not too bothered about things like that.
Things will happen as they will.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:03, Reply)
Can you do the ten second countdown like Ron Jeremy?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:07,
Reply)
he's lucky if he gets to zeroand that's if he starts counting 4 seconds before putting it in
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:12,
Reply)
Well, what about that one time, with you and me behind the bike sheds?(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:06, Reply)
Oh Boy, Tesco just paid for me to watch Scott PilgrimThe overcharged me and so they refunded double the amount.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:03, Reply)
That'll be why the price of milk has shot up. YOU'RE RUINING THE ECONOMY.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:04,
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I'm so happy about this.And we had food and wine before, then went out and got drunk afterwards.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:07,
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Looks good, I like OzonSwimming Pool was rather good.
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Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:11,
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Ain't seen 'em.Shall I put them on my list?
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:15,
Reply)
Ozon's the directorSwimming Pool is a neat little thriller. I think I liked it for the unclothed Gallic charms of Ludovine Sagnier mainly.
I'll do my best to find Potiche.
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Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:18,
Reply)
I like Swimming Poolone of those films I stumbled across randomly and ended up engrossed.
Possibly for many of the same reasons.
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:22,
Reply)
And Charlotte RamplingI probably still would.
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Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:25,
Reply)
Oh I seeeeeee.I might have a go of the thriller. I likes a bit of proper thrilling rather than blood and guts.
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Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:23,
Reply)
It's not exactly edge-of-the-seat stuffBut a nice slow build, and it's very well acted.
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Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:28,
Reply)
I love that filmI need to watch it again
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Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:07,
Reply)
This seasonespecially after the one that went before. Yes I realise that wasn't really me failing so much as Forest. And referees.
Next season will be better though, oh yes.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:07, Reply)
oh I thought you were talking about your dancing but then I read forest and referees.Way to trick me there
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:09,
Reply)
LiterallyShe's the only one with wrists strong enough to do lifts.
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Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:24,
Reply)
I really wish I was proper ace at itKeep plugging away though, you're right. If only I'd been born with an innate sense of balance
Edit: B3th is right
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:22, Reply)
I think the important thing is that you're doing itnot that you're spectacular at it
because it's more of the point that women like men to do things they like with them
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:25,
Reply)
You are correct on all countsFuck knows what would happen if I walked away. I can't help but wish I was better at it though.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:26, Reply)
do you enjoy it?your photos on fb seem to suggest you do
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:29,
Reply)
Yeah I genuinely doBut it's enormously frustrating, well, the competition side of it is anyway
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:41, Reply)
do you do shows?I was at the celtic fest over the weekend and there were dancers there, I was just thinking how I rarely see dancers at festivals
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:43,
Reply)
Did you get drunk at the celtic festival?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:46,
Reply)
no it was the shittest festival I've ever been to
there was only one beer tent, they had bud, bud light and shock top
then there was a whiskey/rum/bourbon tent that gave away one half shot
and only one food stand that served hot dogs
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:48,
Reply)
So it wasn't a true Celtic experience then.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:50,
Reply)
hahaha nothere was some dude walking around in a TOGA
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:54,
Reply)
I hope you told the organiser that his festival was 'fucking bent' as you left.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:55,
Reply)
I didn't expect much, I was just disappointed that the majority of booths were people selling their own businesslike the guy selling wiperblades, and the chick selling make up
and then they had the clan tents set up but when you walked by they didn't say anything, just sort of looked at you
but the music and dancing was nice
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:57,
Reply)
We do occasionally but not oftenUnless you mean showing her extended family a Jive like we did at the weekend. Easily impressed bunch.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:53, Reply)
uuuggghhhh I hate thatmy parents used to be all "PLAY YER FLOOT" for my aunt and uncle and I'd always fuck up
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Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:58,
Reply)
this is what makes me glad that my mrs likes surfing, hanging out with our mates and going to gigs(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:29,
Reply)
Lady bass playersTruth.
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Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:32,
Reply)
This is true.Badger's into cars and she's damn hot.
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thealternativefact, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:33,
Reply)
Never met her.But I shall take your word for it.
Edit: Although I did say "cars" rather than "Seventies BL skips"
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Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:34,
Reply)
spice of life etc.(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:37,
Reply)
don't let her hear you compare her to that idiot.(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:39,
Reply)
I tihnk spicy is a good description of her(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:40,
Reply)
this is true(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:34,
Reply)
so you don't have to do things that you're not interested in?(
Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:33,
Reply)
Hey you!Did you see this?
I have to admit, I laughed.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:09,
Reply)
Also:I've had a reply from 12 Yard, with an application form. The cutoff for this season was in February, but if we apply they will keep us on file for next season.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:19,
Reply)
That's excellent newsHow many names can we put down? I think it said teams of six when I looked at it - wasn't sure if that had to include a reserve.
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:24, Reply)
I can't remember.But each member has to fill in a form, with a photograph.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:25,
Reply)
Best start holding those auditions thenI think Kroney was unimpressed with the prospect of a trip to Glasgow, which means our list consists of Vipros, Bobby, AA, Boss Keloid and Berk.
One question - is there anything on there about "have you appeared on TV in the last 18 months", or the like? There was something about that on TWL and obviously that would exclude me
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:39, Reply)
It's a long way to go to punch someoneeven someone as insufferable as him.
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Kroney, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:40,
Reply)
I'm only doing it so I can mock Darth in person(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:42,
Reply)
I read that as 'in prison' for some reason.But I'm up for a trip to Glasgow!
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Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:47,
Reply)
There wasbut I don't think it said anything about ruling you out. And we wouldn't make the cut for this season anyway, so it might end up being that long before they get round to us.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:42,
Reply)
Depends what show people have appeared on.I'm guessing 'Crimewatch' would be met with a few additional questions being asked.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:44,
Reply)
Have you or appeared on any other TV programmes before? If yes, please give details (including without limitation all television appearances completed and pending (as is applicable) and the name of the show, nature of your participation, broadcast date, channel, any prizes won and any other information as you see fit)
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:46,
Reply)
Yeah that's not the same wording as TWLand I assume they postively encourage winners of other quiz shows on Eggheads, in case they unearth a new team member
*dreams big*
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:58, Reply)
Me too.It's where I did my degree, so I feel right at home there.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:43,
Reply)
My friend is at uni thereI've been up twice, and loved it both times.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:00,
Reply)
So have you sacked off Eggheads now in exchange for the chance to appear on a more lucrative show?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:43,
Reply)
I'm sure Dermot is just as upset as the rest of us.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:47,
Reply)
It is going to be a very strange combination of styles and personalities.Should be good though, I am an ace quizzer.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:45,
Reply)
They ask for your strongest and weakest subjectsI'm guessing it's so they can make sure you don't get any of your good subject, and lots of your worst.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:47,
Reply)
Bob would have to put down 'Drug dealing' (both metric and imperial) as his specialist subject.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:48,
Reply)
I have given all that up you dognoncer.I could put down grooming?
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:50,
Reply)
surely we just lie then?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:49,
Reply)
What are your strongest and weakest subjects Bob?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:51,
Reply)
I would have to say strongest would be Sport/Film/TV
Weakest - History
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:56,
Reply)
My strongest subjects are science and useful thingsI know nothing of films, sport or ridiculously obtuse trivia
(, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:57, Reply)
I've started a 'training' thread for you!(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:00,
Reply)
paris stinks of piss, so you're in good company(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:21,
Reply)
Weston dreams of stinking of pissInstead, it stinks of whores, drugs, and broken dreams.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:23,
Reply)
It gets lovely sunsets so i heardue to all the pollution
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:24,
Reply)
it's not advanced enough to cause pollution(
Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:30,
Reply)
You could raise the profile of the area by getting Danny Boyle to do a filmSlumdog Weston-Super-Mare has a nice ring to it.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 14:28,
Reply)
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