who gives a shit about football?
answer: I certainly don't, you twats
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:08, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What sort of question do you want Vipros.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Someone ask this moody cow a science question
Someone who knows or gives a shit about science, i.e. not me.

Oooh, I know - why do the wires of my headphones get tangled up in knots if I lay them out flat in a drawer?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:10, Reply)

if I knew that about the wires then I would be a rich rich man
edit: my theory is that it is either aliens or some kind of bacteria
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:10, Reply)

I like the aliens one
It implies that they exist, but are not only benign but also possessed of a bastardly sense of humour. Basically, that aliens are among us and probably post on B3ta
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:12, Reply)

Because absolutely everything in your house is bent.

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:11, Reply)

This is very amusing
*produces Eggheads team list*

Vipros
Berk
Agnostic Antichrist
Boss Keloid
Bobby Pires
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:13, Reply)

Noooooooo!!!!!

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Fear my strikethroughs of doom!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:14, Reply)

*fears*

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:15, Reply)

because when your boyfriend is grappling about in the dark looking for some lube he messes them up

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:12, Reply)

do you put other things in the drawer?
is the drawer opened and closed for reasons other than to obtain the wires?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:12, Reply)

String theory innit
something to do with anything that can get tangled will get tangled because it's lower entropy.*



*NB, I have completely made this up. But I do remember having a lecture on string theory at uni and it sounds like a reasonable explanation for tangled headphones to me.
(berk, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:14, Reply)

New plan
I'll ask the Eggheads themselves my question, you make them look stupid with a fully fleshed out argument based on this and they'll be so flummoxed that they won't notice B3th kicking the living shit out of CJ
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:19, Reply)

The trick is to lie convincingly
my ability to do so, and to back up my argument, has given our quiz team the winning point on several occasions. Well twice, anyway.
(berk, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:23, Reply)

I shall be mindful of this next Wednesday

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:31, Reply)

I'm terribly sorry about this
but I'm going to have to cancel - I'm being whisked away to Wimbledon for the day, all expenses paid etc...
(berk, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:38, Reply)

That is the most unlikely and impressively elaborate bullshit excuse for not meeting me I've ever heard

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Yeah, well I'm screwing my tennis coach
and he gets free tickets, so... I can picture message you from centre court if you like.

Besides, if you weren't such a pansy you'd get yourself down to one of the numerous proper bashes that go on.
(berk, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:54, Reply)

Innit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:54, Reply)

If TC behaves will you let him take you (up the) number 2 court?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:55, Reply)

Meh
old news.
(berk, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:57, Reply)

Sorry berk. It wasn't funny months ago.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:58, Reply)

It does worry me slightly that you keep asking whether I have had happy analfuntimes
if I say yes, will you stop speculating?
(berk, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:01, Reply)

No.
It was only because you posted that 'I did something I never thought I'd do' thing the other week that there has been speculation.

I won't mention it again.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Oh yeah
That actually makes it significantly more likely. In which case I hope you have a fucking awesome time :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Correct, have a cuddly toy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 20 Jun 2011, 15:10, Reply)