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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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A new thread
Against my better judgement, it has to be said.

There's the thing that says "Who do you write like?" it spits out random answers.

Who would you LIKE to write like? S J Perelman for me. Wrote all of the Marx Brothers scripts.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:31, 129 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Ernie.
Joey Deacon's mate.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:32, Reply)
I think Ernie made it all up
I don't even think they were mates until Joey got on Blue Peter. Fame seeking media-whore, I reckon.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:36, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdVKLgLWF3w
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:37, Reply)
Oh dear
I think Joey was a media-seeking whore too. A sort of spazzy 1980's wheelchair bound Lady Gaga, if you will.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:40, Reply)
There was fuck all wrong with him.
He put it on for the cameras.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:42, Reply)
Like that lass with the spazzy arm recently.
I think she cut it off herself with a saw so she could get on telly.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:44, Reply)
I didn't see her on the telly.
Was she well fit?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:45, Reply)
I'd have had a go
But frankly the lack of a serviceable limb is not going to distract me too much at the moment.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:48, Reply)
hahaha

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:50, Reply)
jtdf
lol jk
he's wank
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:38, Reply)
Is that a dig at me you moody septic?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:39, Reply)
i am a bit moody ain't i
can't help it
everything is shit
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:40, Reply)
Tell Uncle Jeff all about it.
Why are things shitty K?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:41, Reply)
I don't know, they just are, karma or something.
Perhaps someone has it out for me.
Or maybe things are just things and you have to make the best of it. Or kill yourself.

But personally I'm going to keep watching The Rubberbandits on youtube.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:44, Reply)
I think everyone has it in for you.
They have it in for you because you're a massive internet bully.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:46, Reply)
Prove it.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:47, Reply)
I don't want to.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:48, Reply)
Need me to watch your back love?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:58, Reply)
Please honey. You know how shooty these yanks can be.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:16, Reply)
EVERYTHING?
That's a sweeping statement there Kristine.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:42, Reply)
I GOT ELECTROCUTED TODAY
I'm lucky I'm still alive.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:43, Reply)
Didn't know they still had "The Chair" in Virginia
What was it - unpaid parking fines?

Capital Offence - off to old Sparky.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:46, Reply)
More like dodgy office equipment.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:47, Reply)
Oh man, you should totally take a law suit out.
You can sue you boss for billions and then you can come over and visit us all.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:47, Reply)
you're like a bad luck cloud at the moment

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:08, Reply)
That's nothing I've been electrocuted twice
and with Proper British Electricity, not that silly Yank stuff. Two hundred and forty volts muthafucka.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:48, Reply)
Good point
115v isn't going to kill anyone quickly is it?

You could put some toast on and hang about.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:51, Reply)
Pretty much
TBH even 240 only stings a bit, kinda tingly, and I'm sure it did no lasting damage.


wibble.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:52, Reply)
I've been told this before
But I'm not even arsing about with 240. I isolate everything and earth the lamp-post outside before I start anything.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:58, Reply)
nah, that's for girls
you'll be fine, honest*


*you probably won't*


*How do you do that small text thing?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:01, Reply)

small /small with tag things round them
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:07, Reply)
Don't forget the forward slash.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:09, Reply)
Cheers Cap'n
testing testing 1,2,3
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:10, Reply)
isn't it the amps that kill, though?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:05, Reply)
I think guns kill
And Zyklon B. And speed. And drugs.

Fuck - most things kill.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:11, Reply)
rappers?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:11, Reply)
They kill each other
We should be safe.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:13, Reply)
Very probably
but then the amps are a function of the voltage and the resistance and the resistance will be the human body in this case so it's anybody's guess.*

*may have a very minor qualification in electrickery
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:13, Reply)
Iain Banks
without question my favourite author.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:45, Reply)
this
although I think I'd rather write like Neil Gaiman. I love how he says complex things in a simple, beautiful way
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:04, Reply)
Ahh, good point, had forgotten Gaiman
but then this written output has been abit patchy, I prefer his graphical work.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:17, Reply)
patchy?
which don't you like?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:18, Reply)
Stardust
is good, but the narrative is a bit weak. Neverwhere I love, american Gods is good, I like Bad Omens, but he can only take credit for half of that.... what else is there?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:23, Reply)
i've not read stardust
there's Anansi Boys (comes after American Gods) and his short stories collections Smoke and Mirrors (which I have read and love) and Fragile Things, which I haven't

Also was the writer on Mirrormask
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:26, Reply)
ahh, yes Anansi Boys I quite liked
not read the short stories, also Coraline and The Day I swapped my dad for 2 gold fish, both good kids books. I'm not saying he's bad, but, I still prefer the graphic novels.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:30, Reply)
I think it's the arrangement of words that I want to be able to emulate
Iain Banks, I like the wit and the plots more

Mervyn Peake is just good at all these things
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:31, Reply)
I'll give you that.
I'd like to be a storyteller like Gaiman, but i'd like to write novels like Banks. Peake I've never read, was he Titus Groan or some such?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:34, Reply)
yeah
titus groan, gormanghast, titus alone. The first two are heavy on words, but so very worth it. The 3rd one just kind of spirals of in some odd direction as he went mad.

I have another one by him, too, My Pye. Pretty good, but the Gormanghast trilogy is a masterpiece
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:37, Reply)
I'll give it a try
but a git I went to school with really liked them and he was a git, so it's hard to disassociate. I'm sure they're good though.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:39, Reply)
Germaine Greer.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:49, Reply)
Ooh are you sure?
I don't think you have that much misery and venom in you.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:53, Reply)
I did for a while.
It's kind of dissipated now.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:57, Reply)
It's in a cloud
Raining over the posh end of Bradford.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:59, Reply)
Sorry about that : /

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:03, Reply)
I have reservoirs of misery and venom
One day I'll burst and drown the valley below.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:09, Reply)
He's telling you porkies.
A 'posh' bit of Bradford! Behave.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:19, Reply)
As it seems to be a night for odd trivia:
Germaine Greer has to be the oddest person I kinda fancy, I have no idea why but there you go.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:54, Reply)
Well hello there : )

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:56, Reply)
You've been Germaine Greer all along?
Just waiting for me to reveal my secret lust for you?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 21:59, Reply)
Lol
*said in Australian accent*
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:04, Reply)
I'm going to challenge you at the bash
to actually LOL in Australian, I bet you can't do it, I just bet.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:20, Reply)
I'm going to practise now.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:21, Reply)
I'm with you on this

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:16, Reply)
Well hello there too.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:18, Reply)
could you put on this cardigan
and look at me sternly over your spectacles?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:26, Reply)
Yes!
That's it it's the Stern Nanny thing, I get it now, she'd look all disapproving while you spunked on her tits.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:35, Reply)
you're still after the frogs
aren't you?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:21, Reply)
I massacred loads a fortnight ago with a lawnmower
and now I fear I missed sensually slippery golden opportunity.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:28, Reply)
Mmmmmm
chunky frog lube...
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:30, Reply)
this sentence could only ever belong here
it will never come up in conversation with real people and you will never need it in a presentation or a publication, nor will you use it in an poem.

Celebrate this sentence for its uniqueness, then mourn its passing.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:36, Reply)
horsefeathers!
you mean I'm not supposed to say things like this out loud?

this may explain a lot.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:45, Reply)
apparently I write like Nathaniel Hawthorne.
I would like to write like Andy Hamilton.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:14, Reply)
No idea who they are but I bet your boobs are nicer than theirs.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:14, Reply)
Hawthorne I know
Hamilton I don't. Genre? If it's science fiction don't bother answering.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:18, Reply)
He's a TV writer.
He was responsible for Drop the Dead Donkey. And Outnumbered.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:19, Reply)
It's more than likely.
My boobs are nicer than most people's.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:18, Reply)
*nods sagely*

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:19, Reply)
*top boobs high fives*

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Andy Lewis
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:17, Reply)
oh! perhaps Mervyn Peake
but that would mean going all mad, like
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:19, Reply)

Peake Hayes
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:20, Reply)
I don't know who that is
you need to be less obscure
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:21, Reply)


(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:24, Reply)
Oh I recognise him
but now it's like a joke you've spent 15 minutes explaining
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:26, Reply)
You were slow on the uptake with my record breakers/beyonce joke the other day as well.
Fair ruined it for me.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:28, Reply)
These bloody youngsters.
It's not good enough.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:29, Reply)
Too many sweets and too much fizzy pop is to blame.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:31, Reply)
Not enough culture.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:32, Reply)
yoghurt?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:33, Reply)
apparently Yop is quite good.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:33, Reply)
so I hear
you know, don't tell Gonz, but I've never had it
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:41, Reply)
Me neither.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:44, Reply)
I think I'm just going senile
and haemorrhaging brain cells
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:30, Reply)
I wonder how many brain cells you lost talking about orange wagon wheels.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:32, Reply)
not just talking
I've been thinking about them, researching them and asking around about them. One day, though VICTORY and it will all be worth it
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:32, Reply)
What did you ask Burtons to confirm exactly.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:35, Reply)
i copy and pasted the letter in the previous thread and you replied to it
do you not read my posts here or something?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:38, Reply)
*Goes to check*
EDIT: I thought that was what you'd asked your imaginary brother.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:40, Reply)
nope I asked my brother
then I wrote an email to burtons
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:42, Reply)
These bloody oldies.
It's not good enough.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:44, Reply)
I fear you might be correct, even though no right-minded person remembers them.
I'd laugh if Burtons came back and said, 'There were fake Wagon Wheels in orange, but they were made by the povvo kings that were 'Happy Shopper'.

I'll bet you'd not share that information with the group.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:45, Reply)
Wasn't it Melvyn Hayes?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:23, Reply)
Oh yeah.
hahahahaha
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:24, Reply)
Lovely boy
Or, stepping back a bit, Double Deckers.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:23, Reply)
still no idea

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:24, Reply)
*Gets on board*

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:24, Reply)
He was Boney (or something) on Superted

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:25, Reply)
Double Deckers theme tune
Is blocked on youtube. Bazzers.

My mate used to play it as an encore to his hardcore punk set.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:28, Reply)
Chorlton and the Wheelies has the best theme tune.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:29, Reply)
It's good
But it's not right.

Trying to find Double Deckers song and failing.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:31, Reply)
It isn't there because it's not as good as Chorlton and the Wheelies.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:36, Reply)
We'll lets have some Chorlton then
Off to Headingley tomorrow Jeff. What d'you reckon?

I've been singing the praises of Bresnan for a few years now, and this is where he'll come into his own.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:42, Reply)
I reckon you'll be drunk by lunch.
What is the forecast looking like, reckon you'll get a full days play?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:46, Reply)
Yes, looks good.
I think it'll be a 100 day.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:50, Reply)
Didn't we lose the last one day series against Sri Lanka 5-0?

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:51, Reply)
Yes.
But they're not the team they were and we aren't the team we were.

I forecast victory. And I'm driving so I'll not be drunk at any point.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:55, Reply)
That's badly planned on your part TD
I thought Cook bowled well in the last game, any idea how the wicket usually plays at Headingly, just wondering if Broad will impress.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:58, Reply)
What sort of TV do you have?
If Cook bowls well? Or at all?
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 23:01, Reply)
hahaha
Sorry. Tired. I meant Swann.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 23:04, Reply)
So am I.
Bedtime.

I was working in Meanwood - next suburb over from Headingley - this morning and it pissed it down.

That'll mean a lovely bouncy strip - just right for Jimmy and Tim. Don't think Swann will get much tomorrow unless we bat first.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 23:05, Reply)
Well have fun tomorrow.
I'm going to bed!
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 23:06, Reply)
I'm off to bed.
You're all too cunty for me.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:21, Reply)
Night Blousie.
Tell me who is being nasty to you.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:21, Reply)
Nobody! I was being humourous and sweary.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:22, Reply)
cunt!

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:22, Reply)
Well stay up and play a bit longer.

(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:22, Reply)
I think I need to sleep, now
just two more sleeps until bash tiems
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:43, Reply)
don't fall asleep
that's when the spiders come out and crawl into your mouth
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 22:49, Reply)
George Gershwin.
Me and my dad went to a fucking awesome heartstopping goosepimply Gershwin concert with the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra, an awesome american conductor and a SUPER DUPER italian pianist.
I have heard Summertime and Rhapsody in Blue played LIVE. I can die happy now.

26 when he wrote Rhapsody in Blue.
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 23:38, Reply)

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