I've just had a phonecall off a girl I really can't be arsed seeing.
She was in floods of tears saying she'd been beaten up and could I come round. How the fuck do I get out of it?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 12:37, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Say your having a pint with a mate who's a bit upset
and appears to have blood on his fists?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Jul 2011, 12:40, Reply)

You could try saying
"sorry love, I can't be arsed"

This would have the added benefit of her never phoning you again. Ever.
( Kroney, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Tell her you can't trust yourself not to also beat her up if you go round, because she's so fucking annoying.
Also tell her she has rubbish tits and that everyone* calls her 'kipper-gash' behind her back, and all over the internet.


*including her parents and childhood pets
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 12:42, Reply)

This is the perfect response.
She's the most melodramatic cunt in the world. I bet she's dropped the remote control on her foot.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 12:43, Reply)

Just say "no" then.
I bet you won't though, you don't have the balls.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 15 Jul 2011, 12:45, Reply)

In the circumstances, I don't think she'll get the Noddy Holder reference.

( Kroney, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Tell her you'll only go round if she'll trade hugs for blowjobs.
Win-Win
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 15 Jul 2011, 12:47, Reply)