The first time I went to america
every shop assistant was like "Hi, how are ya?" and smiley. It was quite a culture shock.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:17, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

We are LOVELY and that's why you all hate us, it's not because we're fat.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:19, Reply)

we don't want people being all smiley and helpful
if I wanted a chat I'd go see my mates.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:21, Reply)

well fuck off the internet then

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:22, Reply)

I wasn't talking about now
I meant in a restaurant or a shop
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:24, Reply)

I know.

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:27, Reply)

I know you know

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:27, Reply)

I know you know I know

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:29, Reply)

the potion with the poison is in the flagon with the dragon

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 14:14, Reply)

My girls are going to be so disappointed in us.
Our shop assistants look at you like you're not fit to empty their bins.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:21, Reply)

Mostly lovely.
New Yorkers can fuck the fuck off. People from Virginia are nice enough though.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:21, Reply)

This is true.
My friend Laurie certainly is.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Americans who have been to England always seem surprised at how polite I am.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:24, Reply)

I went out with an American girl for a bit.
She had to learn how to eat properly with cutlery when she came here. She was fucking brilliant though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:28, Reply)

what, did she just use her hands to smash the food into her face?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:29, Reply)

You eat like trained chimps.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:35, Reply)

Chopped it all up first, and then ate it all by fork with an elbow on the table.
I mean, really.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:36, Reply)

the heathen
/has never ever done that in her life, honest
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:38, Reply)

I still love you, no matter what.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:41, Reply)

*beams*

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:49, Reply)

I've known a few Americans who do it
it's really weird.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:57, Reply)

^oh, this. With the cutlery, I mean.
They're fascinated to watch me pile food on the back of my fork. It's like they're watching some tribal ritual or something.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:30, Reply)

I've only seen this in movies.
You actually do that?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:34, Reply)

It's how you'rer meant to do it.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:35, Reply)

You'rer not wrong.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:37, Reply)

my gonzism is getting wurs

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:38, Reply)

see also, not holding the knife like a pen.

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:56, Reply)

I have great pals in New York. They're excellent people.


Perhaps they just thought you were a wanker and didn't mind you knowing this?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:25, Reply)

No, really.
The Americans I was travelling with remarked on the fact as well. This one guy who worked in the left luggage facility was a complete and total tool. I had to deal with him four times in the course of my visit to the States, and he was a dick every single time.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:27, Reply)

You only disliked him because you were in the left luggage department and he was mocking your name.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:36, Reply)

Hahah I was in New York once and a shop assistant took it 'one louder' by asking 'how are you?'
I was somewhat annoyed by this fatuous enquiry so instead of the 'fine thanks' she was expecting I made up some lies about how 'not good, actually, my cat's just died and my dad's just lost his job' or similar and the look of dismay on the poor girl's face actually brings on a pang of guilt to this day.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:24, Reply)

You've just shattered my illusion of you being a sociopath.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:25, Reply)

I'm lying, really I think it's funny.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:26, Reply)

I was about to resoundingly mock you for feeling guilt

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Guilt is for the weak.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:35, Reply)

you tit
It's because we CARE. Or pretend to care. One of those two.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 29 Jul 2011, 13:28, Reply)