THIS JUST IN:
it's over to Monty Boyce with the spreads news.

'XO Marmite just tastes like regular Marmite - although the rather natty packaging almost justifies the inflated price tag. More disturbing news from the peanut butter aisle: a large jar of Whole Earth peanut butter is now retailing for just shy of THREE ENGLISH POUNDS. I mean really, fuck off you cunts. Now back to Martin in the studio'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:22, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Marmite is shit
and fools who buy is deserve to be ripped off by fake 'new' products
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Oh dear.
And now you must die.

:(
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:26, Reply)

I should have saved my pennies for an infinitely-more sensible 'foam sword', right?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:26, Reply)

exactly

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I've just watched John Bishop's Britain from Saturday night.
There was a LARPer from Norwich on it. He seemed sensible and well adjusted.

pffft.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

John Bishop's that annoying scouse guy?
sometimes larpers can appear normal
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)

This guy reminded me a little of Kim Newman

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I think John Bishop is superb, definitely my favourite new comedian
But is it just me, or does he not suit being a presenter?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:33, Reply)

He is hilarious
I thought he was alright as a presenter, actually.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:34, Reply)

It might have just been the couple of episodes of that series I've seen
But he just seems so robotic on it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:35, Reply)

But he's a Scouser. Scousers are funny! and charming! And lovely!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:36, Reply)

Well, I'm slightly scouse, what does that make me?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Gay as a fucking window, old boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Too delicate to slam properly?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:45, Reply)

*pisses pants*
You ARE funny.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:40, Reply)

He's the most scouse Scouser I've ever had the profound misfortune to listen to.

( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Big teeth too

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:36, Reply)

As long as he's not giving you a blow job
that's hardly a problem, is it?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:38, Reply)

He looks like Bez. And isn't funny.
What's to like?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Just a pointless observation...
and perhaps he has honed his technique so that the teeth are not a problem?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:40, Reply)

strangely
he's the only scouser I've ever been able to stand listening to
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Buy one get one free on 3 packs of jaffa cakes in Waitrose at the moment.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:25, Reply)

*nods* not a bad deal

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Thanks Monty:
Whole Earth peanut butter is shit so our viewers may wish to avoid same. Back over to our Spreads correspondent with news on Heinz Sandwich Spread.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:28, Reply)

Heinz sandwich spread: it's basically just vomit in a jar.
Back to you in the studio, Keith.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Thanks Bob.
And Toast Toppers?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

gash peasant food

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Gash: a bit fishy for my tastes.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)

how do you feel about Gentleman's Relish?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:33, Reply)

I have a sock for that.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:34, Reply)

I don't like the stuff with lumps in.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:34, Reply)

like vomit, yet delicious

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)

This thread is full of mouth-wrongs.

( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Avoid all Peanut Butter, because it's fucking disgusting.
And I disagree on the XO Marmite, I found it to have a deeper, more intense taste.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:29, Reply)

22=clueless.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

23=genius.
EDIT: And I've just discovered that this was my 15,000th comment on QOTW, woo!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

24=RTA

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

I can't drive.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)

You don't need to to get run over.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Hmm, you make a good point.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:33, Reply)

I thought that XO wasn't as nice as regular Marmite
and the consistency wasn't as good
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

choosy moms choose jiff

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

We call it Cif.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

we didn't used to

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

She's talking about peanut butter, we're talking about bog cleaner.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)

These cultural barriers are too much

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:33, Reply)

I thought Jiff was taht squeezy lemon thing?
You only ever see those around pancake day.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Actually, I think you'll find we call it acieeed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:37, Reply)

The South African Dog Fucker?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:36, Reply)

sith Ifrikun Dug Facker, sheerly?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:37, Reply)

Yiss. How remuss of me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:38, Reply)