Following on from MB's rant
Which football team do you support?
Those people who say 'I don't support a football team' should include details of where they are from and/or who their Dad supports.
( WormuIus, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 13:59, 194 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I support Leicester City
On account of me being born in Leicester and I didn't want to support the teams that my friends did because I didn't know where those places were.
( WormuIus, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:01, Reply)

You get points for doing the right thing as regards your choice of football team
But the football team you support are shit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:17, Reply)

"This just in, a Mr Pot has just been arrested for a racist attack on a Mr Kettle"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Are you just assuming that Darth's team is shit
or do you, in fact, know a thing or two about football?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Let's be honest, it could be either

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:26, Reply)

I know a little about it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:29, Reply)

I'm a Liverpool fan
This is due to growing up in fairly close proximity to Liverpool, and with the choice being between Liverpool and Everton, it wasn't too difficult a choice.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:03, Reply)

I have no interest in football
nor does anyone in my family.

I am originally from High Wycombe
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Out of interest
What did you do at junior school when the othe kids were getting interested in football?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:05, Reply)

I don't mind playing football, although I am shit at it
I just really couldn't give a shit about who wins anything. See also: every other sport.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:07, Reply)

So when your mates were talking about this stuff.....
On reflection, I suppose I got interested because everyone else was. Still, love football and rugby.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:09, Reply)

as far as I recall
my mates didn't talk about it, which is fortunate because I have a very low tolerance for hearing about it.

None of my mates who I see regularly support a team, or go out of their way to watch matches other than internationals, and even then no one actually cares.

I do have some mates who are fairly rabid fans, but they know I don't care, so they don't bring it up.

From where I stand I find the whole attitude towards it really weird. As if there is something wrong with you if you don't support a team.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:10, Reply)

I think a lot of people like supporting a team for the "crack"
as it were. I have worked in Newcastle for 18 years and I love the piss taking and wind ups. I fucking hate it when it goes beyond that.

See: Geordies who just hate EVERYONE from Sunderland as they are from Sunderland (and vice versa). It should be about a laugh and taking the piss, no further than that.

Case in point was a "friend" who is a copper. He came back from a Newcastle - Sunderland match a while ago, looking forward to going to work in Sunderland that night quote "to crack some Mackem heads in". FFS, he is now most certainly an ex-friend
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:16, Reply)

He sounds like a cunt.
The Liverpool vs United arguments at my place are just entertaining, the silence after we beat them is simply magnificent.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:18, Reply)

He is a major cunt
I can't even bring myself to look at him now
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:20, Reply)

part of it is regional
I lived in High Wycombe till I was 8 or so, then moved to Devon, where there are only a few teams, all shit.

but the main thing is that I just can't begin to make myself even pretend to care about some cunts playing sport.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:18, Reply)

There is care and care though
I've supported Sunderland all my life but if they get beat, nothing changes. I just enjoy watching football and have "my" team to cheer

You mentioned that you watched the Grand Prix at the weekend. Did you really not give a fuck who won? If so, why watch it?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I'm exactly the same.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:21, Reply)

because it's interesting to watch even with no vested interest
I appreciate a display of skill or a spectacle as much as anyone
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Do you watch football then?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:34, Reply)

I wouldn't seek it out
but I don't have anything against it. I'm not saying it's bad or anything, just that I don't have any interest in it, and I find extended conversations about it really really tedious.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Barcelona
Because I was born there, my family support it and it's the best team in the world.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:04, Reply)

I love how true your final point on this is
Real Madrid have all the money in the world, but they're still not even close to as good as you.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:07, Reply)

I was being a bit sarcastic
I can't care much. In a couple of years another team will be the best in the world. That won't keep me at work, or pay my mortgage.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Well, even with your sarcasm, you were correct.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:21, Reply)

We don't watch much of your football. I mean it's not as popular as NFL here.
I was suprisingly a fast fan of the US team during the men's world cup, I quite enjoyed it watching it.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Milton keynes dons
because I like tennis
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Sunderland
Born in South Shields, parents are Sunderland supporters. No choice in the matter!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:12, Reply)

clearly man utd
but i am from manchester, so it's allowed.

on those lines, here's me telling my 70 year old yorkshire dad that i am dating an asian guy: "let's just say, you won't like the fact that he cheers for india in the cricket."

"why does he do that?"

"well, his dad's from india."

[pause]

"if he doesn't want to cheer for england, what the bloody hell's he doing here?"

"he was born here, dad. he can cheer for fucking iceland if he wants."

[pause]

"hmm. he's not a fucking chelsea fan is he?"

all about priorities...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:14, Reply)

You're from Wilmslow, that hardly counts!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:16, Reply)

excuse me
where do you think all the bloody players live, eh??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Haha, good point.
Fair few in Prestbury and Alderley Edge too!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:19, Reply)

All the Crewe players seem to
live in or around my parents' village
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:24, Reply)

those are just suburbs of greater wilmslow, darling

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:24, Reply)

...shit.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:27, Reply)

You were born in Halifax though
The Shaymen need your support
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:18, Reply)

my dad and my brothers and my uncle do
in fact, my dad used to play for town back in the 60's.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:24, Reply)

I was about to ask if he was anyone I'd have heard of
Then I remembered we were talking about Halifax Town
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:27, Reply)

he did once score three own goals in one match
i don't think he got man of the match that day.

well, from the other side, maybe.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:28, Reply)

I don't support football
and I get embarrassed for others when they talk about 'our team' or 'our men' or 'our victory'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:16, Reply)

That's becuase you've conflated a football team with a football club.

( WormuIus, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I can't really see any difference
and it's all the same. It's still embarrassing to hear them talk as though they could've influenced the victory/defeat in any way, or when the possible achievements of 11 men on a field, has a direct personal link to their mood.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:24, Reply)

just for you
I referred to "their" seasons rather than "our" seasons, below.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:25, Reply)

while I broadly agree with your viewpoint
(and like to take the piss out of these people) people also say the same of their country winning a war
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Saying that 11 men have an effect on mood
What about :

cinema
books
theatre

These are all designed to change your mood
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:31, Reply)

All of those things have an emotional impact
but no-one feels personally invested in them. When I watch a film I don't feel a personal connection to the actors, or will them to act well or feel emotion when they don't. I take it as entertainment. I have no problem with people who like to watch football just as a sport, but I think the emotional attachment to a team is odd.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:37, Reply)

It's human nature to pick a side

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:55, Reply)

I'm with TLiC on this
And I support him fully. All you other posters are shit.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:08, Reply)

the club includes the supporters
the team doesn't
( WormuIus, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:53, Reply)

I support West Bromwich Albion
as my mother's father supported them. Absolutely nobody else in my extended family gives a damn about football as far as I know.

I did grow up near West Bromwich, so there's that. And I prefer them to some of the "bigger" clubs as their seasons generally tend to be desperate struggles or giant goalfests, depending whether it's an odd or even year.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Nice team
Nice fans
Nice ground.

*thumbs up*
( WormuIus, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:22, Reply)

I feel validated ONLINE

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:24, Reply)

boing boing

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:28, Reply)

The Lord's my shepherd

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:30, Reply)

I support Nottingham Forest
Because I was born in Nottingham and was a season ticket holder from the ages of 8 to 19, when I moved away.

It is now too late to support a good team.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Looking forward to the new season?

( WormuIus, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:22, Reply)

I will be if we sign a fucking striker
Otherwise, no
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Why not go for N'gog?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Obvious answer is obvious

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Laughter?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:32, Reply)

1st Prize!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:33, Reply)

We have enough striker who are unfamiliar with the vague direction of a barn door, thank you

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:34, Reply)

Ishmael Miller needs matches

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:37, Reply)

matches shooting
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:38, Reply)

shooting bacon
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:39, Reply)

no one
my dad vaguely follows Stoke, but only because that's where he's from and his mates follow them.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:22, Reply)

I think some Great Uncle
or something played for them, too
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:26, Reply)

The poor bastard
I'm so sorry. Give him my condolences.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:29, Reply)

This means little to me
and I suspect mostly if they are doing shit, it he's removed from it enough to just take the piss out of his friends.

weren't they in some kind of big game recently that people gave a shit about?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:30, Reply)

there's a general perception of them
as a team of thugs with a one-track and ugly approach to the game. But they've actually expanded their repertoire in recent years and do play some nice football at times. Just for a bit until they get overstimulated and have to go back to hoofing it long to the big man up front.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:39, Reply)

I don't support a team as football is a game for plebs
My father doesn't support a football team either for the same reason.

I hate Fulham and Chelsea more than other teams though as they clog up my part of London with their drunken offensive fans, pissing in the street and screaming bile into the air
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:27, Reply)

+stealing coats

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:29, Reply)

I support Manchester United because my father was from there
I grew up in Loughborough and I have no idea if they had a football team or not, I can't remember ever having seen supporters around the place. Almost all my friends supported Liverpool back then.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Loughborough Dynamo
or Leicester City.
( WormuIus, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:13, Reply)

I mostly have Swansea City
because their supporters park in my road and make it take ages to get to MOrrisons
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:33, Reply)

Bradford City.
But I like Wednesday to do well for the sake of a quiet life
(DeeDee, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:34, Reply)

This is where things go wrong!
Mrs Cow is a Newcastle supporter and her daughter likes Liverpool. We have a mixed up house. I have suggested, only for peace and quiet mind you, that our two kids would like to support AC Milan as they play in red/black (i.e. Sunderland and Newcastle). I even volunteered to take them to matches.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:35, Reply)

I think that's a good idea.
I live in Leeds now, and if my kids think they're being Leeds fans I'll kick their faces off. I'm actually thinking of suggesting they follow AFC Garforth 'cos they get lots of old Brazilians. Plus it's only down the road from me.
(DeeDee, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Excellent plan!
Who was who played for them a few years ago?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:38, Reply)

Socrates is the first that springs to mind.
Thay had Gazza as manager for all of a week as well
(DeeDee, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:40, Reply)

I should imagine all that hemlock must have slowed him down a little, no?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Nothing stops Gazza!
/deliberate misunderstanding
(DeeDee, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Only because he was a fucking pussy.

( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:45, Reply)

pre-poisoning, post Bill and Ted

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:45, Reply)

I have no interest in football. My dad did like football and he died an alcoholic.
A lesson for us all there, I feel.

He supported Charlton, which is probably why he turned to drink.

I am from Guildford and my nearest team is Woking Town. I shan't be supporting them because they're shit and Woking is full of pikeys. Also because I have no interest in football.

Edit: I have, however, occasionally played as Woking Town on Championship Manager.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:38, Reply)

If you are interested, my paternal Grandfather supported Glasgow Rangers
as he was from Goven. He only died of lung cancer because the alcoholism didn't get him first.

My maternal Grandfather, from whom I get the majority of my genes (with the notable exception of my taste for booze), thought football was a bloody silly idea and supported Clifton RFC. Also rallying.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Ooof, pikey blood there Kroners. Jocko pikey blood - the worst.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:47, Reply)

My family history is bizarre, Monty.

( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:48, Reply)

better effort to be childishly and pointlessly rude, here
family history face

alt:

family sexual
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:51, Reply)

I do not support a football team.
I am from Winchester. My father and brother have a similar total lack of interest in sport of any kind.

The only relative I can think of who gives a toss about any sport is my cousin who is eight. Like all good Anglo-Japanese boys in the Nottingham area he supports 'Man United' who I am led to believe are a popular 'soccer' 'side'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:38, Reply)

I hear that "Man U" are also really "into film"

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Is that so?
I'm surprised I haven't run into them on the multifarious 'film' forums I frequent.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:48, Reply)

My Dad wasn't interested in football either.
I think he called it a "tart's game".
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:47, Reply)

It's more about hair than sport.

( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Mine described it as
invented by morons, played by morons and watched by morons.
I don't think he was that keen on it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Like modern art?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Also Man U is an anagram of Amun
who was the deity of the poor and was the "protector of the road", watching over those who travelled in his name.

/alltheirfanslivemilesawaylols
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:49, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:53, Reply)

I bought a new bike this morning
and I have recently developed an interest in international test matches.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:43, Reply)

gay

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:46, Reply)

So's your mum.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:51, Reply)

she just told you that so you'd stop begging her for sex

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:52, Reply)

sex cake
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:57, Reply)

I wish I was watching this afternoon, I want to see that Anderson wicket.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Football? Is that still going on?
I don't support a football team because I am not interested in football. The same is also true of my dad.
When I was in junior school and it was de rigueur for the boys to like football I supported my home team Coventry City for a while, until I discovered that a girl I liked preferred Liverpool, so I liked them for a while. Another girl switched my allegience back to Coventry again just in time for their one and only FA Cup win. None of these girls ever showed any interest in me and I soon lost all interest in football.
I find the whole home team thing a bit pointless anyway as it is not as if they draw their players from the local area, is it?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:48, Reply)

a fair few do
the problem is at the very top level it's difficult for kids coming up through the youth system to get a game so they tend to bugger off to a lower league club miles away.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:51, Reply)

A Coventry girl?
Bet she was a goer.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Not with me she wasn't
And also we were both only 10 years old.
/Freefair defence
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:53, Reply)

I lost my virginity when I was 9.
(This may be untrue)

It's totally true.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:54, Reply)

15 for me

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:55, Reply)

This should have been the question.
Although I am sure it has been posted before.

I was actually 8.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:56, Reply)

Were you seduced by a 15 year old AA?
In Coventry?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:58, Reply)

Yes.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:00, Reply)

I'm not sure whether I find it entertaining the fact that SYFTS is actually 15 years older than me...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Don't. That's like negative paedo'ism.
I was doing you, before you were born.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:18, Reply)

BTW
15 years.

Fucking thanks.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Not at all!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

I was three.
My dad was right randy old cunt in them days.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:58, Reply)

I knew something didn't look right about that Bruce Lee.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:59, Reply)

He died because he was too fit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Did he take an aspirin?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Yes. And he smoked a joint.
Also, the Shaolin masters had him killed because he was showing Westerners their Kung Fu secrets.

He told me all this over chicken Kievs and Bird's Eye Waffles, followed by Vienetta, just before he died.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Tsk, Shaolin Masters, eh?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:07, Reply)

They're right old cunts according to dad.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:13, Reply)

And here I was believing that it was a simple brain haemorrhage did nobbled him.
That'll teach me for believing everything the Illuminati disseminate, I suppose.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:15, Reply)

You need to WAKE UP from their TRICKNOLOGY.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:17, Reply)

Shaolin bastards more like!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:17, Reply)

YEAAAH.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:18, Reply)

A Coventry girl?
I bet she had no areas of merit and people only went into her on their way to somebody else.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:56, Reply)

The slag.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 14:59, Reply)

This is a terrible response to what is quite possibly
my best ever post.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Sadly this is true.
Or something.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Stop messing with my head!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:02, Reply)

This is probably your 2nd best ever post too
Although it only really works if you watched the action unfold live
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:06, Reply)

That is a top response.
EDIT: I tried!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:00, Reply)

You're shit

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Which 'team' do you 'support', Wormulus?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Team ream?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Sponsored by Amyl Nitrate
for a smooth entry.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:07, Reply)

THIS JUST IN:
it's over to Monty Boyce with the spreads news.

'XO Marmite just tastes like regular Marmite - although the rather natty packaging almost justifies the inflated price tag. More disturbing news from the peanut butter aisle: a large jar of Whole Earth peanut butter is now retailing for just shy of THREE ENGLISH POUNDS. I mean really, fuck off you cunts. Now back to Martin in the studio'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Marmite is shit
and fools who buy is deserve to be ripped off by fake 'new' products
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:25, Reply)

Oh dear.
And now you must die.

:(
( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:26, Reply)

I should have saved my pennies for an infinitely-more sensible 'foam sword', right?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:26, Reply)

exactly

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I've just watched John Bishop's Britain from Saturday night.
There was a LARPer from Norwich on it. He seemed sensible and well adjusted.

pffft.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

John Bishop's that annoying scouse guy?
sometimes larpers can appear normal
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)

This guy reminded me a little of Kim Newman

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I think John Bishop is superb, definitely my favourite new comedian
But is it just me, or does he not suit being a presenter?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:33, Reply)

He is hilarious
I thought he was alright as a presenter, actually.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:34, Reply)

It might have just been the couple of episodes of that series I've seen
But he just seems so robotic on it.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:35, Reply)

But he's a Scouser. Scousers are funny! and charming! And lovely!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:36, Reply)

Well, I'm slightly scouse, what does that make me?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Gay as a fucking window, old boy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:41, Reply)

Too delicate to slam properly?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:45, Reply)

*pisses pants*
You ARE funny.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:40, Reply)

He's the most scouse Scouser I've ever had the profound misfortune to listen to.

( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:35, Reply)

Big teeth too

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:36, Reply)

As long as he's not giving you a blow job
that's hardly a problem, is it?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:38, Reply)

He looks like Bez. And isn't funny.
What's to like?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Just a pointless observation...
and perhaps he has honed his technique so that the teeth are not a problem?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:40, Reply)

strangely
he's the only scouser I've ever been able to stand listening to
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Buy one get one free on 3 packs of jaffa cakes in Waitrose at the moment.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:25, Reply)

*nods* not a bad deal

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Thanks Monty:
Whole Earth peanut butter is shit so our viewers may wish to avoid same. Back over to our Spreads correspondent with news on Heinz Sandwich Spread.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:28, Reply)

Heinz sandwich spread: it's basically just vomit in a jar.
Back to you in the studio, Keith.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Thanks Bob.
And Toast Toppers?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

gash peasant food

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Gash: a bit fishy for my tastes.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)

how do you feel about Gentleman's Relish?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:33, Reply)

I have a sock for that.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:34, Reply)

I don't like the stuff with lumps in.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:34, Reply)

like vomit, yet delicious

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)

This thread is full of mouth-wrongs.

( Kroney, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Avoid all Peanut Butter, because it's fucking disgusting.
And I disagree on the XO Marmite, I found it to have a deeper, more intense taste.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:29, Reply)

22=clueless.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

23=genius.
EDIT: And I've just discovered that this was my 15,000th comment on QOTW, woo!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

24=RTA

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

I can't drive.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)

You don't need to to get run over.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Hmm, you make a good point.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:33, Reply)

I thought that XO wasn't as nice as regular Marmite
and the consistency wasn't as good
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

choosy moms choose jiff

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

We call it Cif.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:30, Reply)

we didn't used to

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:31, Reply)

She's talking about peanut butter, we're talking about bog cleaner.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:32, Reply)

These cultural barriers are too much

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:33, Reply)

I thought Jiff was taht squeezy lemon thing?
You only ever see those around pancake day.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:33, Reply)

Actually, I think you'll find we call it acieeed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:37, Reply)

The South African Dog Fucker?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:36, Reply)

sith Ifrikun Dug Facker, sheerly?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:37, Reply)

Yiss. How remuss of me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Aug 2011, 15:38, Reply)