Until you are yourself the subject of daytime TV I think you're OK.
I personally would fucking love a cold beer.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:09, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

all this talk of champagne is making me ache for it

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:10, Reply)

And some champagne?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:11, Reply)

Mine was better - it had more capitals and needless extra exclamation marks.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Needs MOAR eleventyone

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Whatever
Mine was first. Yours was nowhere.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:13, Reply)

...AND SOME CHAMPAGNE, TOO!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:11, Reply)

... and a good hard fucking, too?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:12, Reply)

WITH A KNIFE!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Actually hang on, ewww....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:13, Reply)

This one I liked.
I shall click it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:14, Reply)

With a novelty rolling pin.

( Kroney, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:15, Reply)

that's not a knife, that's a spoon.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:16, Reply)

A kilospoon?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:16, Reply)

I can see you've played knifey-spooney before.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:22, Reply)

*fives*

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:22, Reply)

^ i don't understand all this fuss ^
:(
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:14, Reply)

You said you were aching for it.
We all joked you meant sex.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:16, Reply)

I wasn't joking.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Watch this man.
He has a mighty stick.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:18, Reply)

It's 37 and 1/2 inches.
just saying.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:22, Reply)

so about this big then?
|__|
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:27, Reply)

no, just over 3 feet
I've never felt the need to exaggerate.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:30, Reply)

sigh
feet inches
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:31, Reply)

it's a hockey stick
it really would be cock all use if it was 3" long, dear.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:32, Reply)

just like any cock
that was only 3" long, then.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:34, Reply)

you seem a little preoccupied with this
is the new man a little lacking?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:49, Reply)

=/
i dont do sex
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:18, Reply)

It's what you might call a deliberate misunderstanding borne from your unintentional
double entendre of "aching for it".
( Kroney, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:16, Reply)

I mean PHWOOARRR, EH?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:17, Reply)

It's not bad actually
goes well with the houmous and the burning sense of shame that comes from the thought of no job interviews
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Yes, but onion hummous
is made from onions and chickpeas, which are good for you. And you will get interviews, I'm sure you will. It just takes time!
(berk, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:19, Reply)

I'm debating getting Jobseekers allowance
worth it do you reckon?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Possibly, I don't know what hoops you have to jump through to get it though
is there literally nothing you could do? Have you been round all the temping agencies?
(berk, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I need to get work soon
or I'm just going to get down and not bother. Been round the temping agencies to an extent, but a lot of the stuff available requires me standing up for eight hours a day or whatever.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:24, Reply)

You may be eligible for incapacity benefit, I don't know
but there should be plenty of typing and filing jobs around, you shouldn't necessarily have to work in retail or cleaning etc where you have to stand up for hours on end.
(berk, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:29, Reply)

£58 a week for fuck all.
I'd snatch their arm off.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 2 Aug 2011, 14:22, Reply)