You weird cunt.
alt: I've just eaten three Yorkie biscuit bars. I feel really quite sick. Lunch is postponed as a result.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:22, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've just had breakfast so lunch is postponed here too.
why weird?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:24, Reply)

That's quite an odd picture. I don't dislike it particularly, but it's a bit weird.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:26, Reply)

it is weird
that's why I like it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:26, Reply)

This
my first reaction was 'eh?' followed by 'ha! that's ace'.
(berk, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:30, Reply)

I'm a fan of illustrationy type artworks

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:31, Reply)

I like the clouds and the sunset mostly
the crazy tentacles and tiny child are a sort of weird bonus.
(berk, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Aubrey Beardsley?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I like that stuff
see also, the illustrations from Kipling's Just So Stories
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:36, Reply)

My brother bought my daughter a Hans Andersen fairy stories book illustrated by Edmund du Lac.
He really was a superb illustrator.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:38, Reply)

indeed he was
if you haven't already, get your daughter Just So Stories and read them to her. They are fabulous.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:39, Reply)

I grew up on them shits, yo.
Rikki Tikki Tavi or whatever his name was. Marvellous stuff. I am a huge Kipling fan.

NB anyone thinking of replying using the word 'kippled' - just fucking don't.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:41, Reply)

I strongly believe that those stories are at least partly responsible for the way my mind works

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:43, Reply)

They were fantastic
I also loved Stalky and Co. And Kim. Can't remember who it was who said that Kipling managed the incredible feat of writing about a truly good man and making him interesting
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:51, Reply)

I have fond memories of my dad reading me Kipling's stuff when I was very young
as well as making up stories about Beowulf.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:54, Reply)

I had problems reading until I was about seven so my dad used to record himself reading
stories so I could listen on a dictaphone when he was away on business.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:55, Reply)

that's awesome

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 13:05, Reply)

Have you read Seamus Heaney's Beowulf translation?
Not a patch on the old Penguin classics one, I think.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:56, Reply)

It's a shit adaptation
or 'interpretation' as I believe he likes to call it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 13:01, Reply)

'A shitcunt paddy wanker' as I believe I like to call him.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 13:02, Reply)

Remarkably apt
To be fair I acknowledge my taste in literature and poetry is pretty stuck in the past.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 13:06, Reply)

*old-skool fives*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 13:11, Reply)

...give a dog a bone!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 13:51, Reply)

I have not

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 13:05, Reply)

You are a lucky man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 13:12, Reply)

I happen to like it.
It's Norn Iron, innit.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 14:50, Reply)

It provokes my inner twat

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:27, Reply)

does your inner twat have tentacles?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:28, Reply)

no just a shiny red mac

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:30, Reply)

I wnated to buy some Rich Tea before and the bloke in the shop couldn't understand me and I'm not sure if I was making any sense but I really wanted some rich tea for some reason.
I tried saying it slowly, "Ritch Tea, you know, plain buiscits, crunchy, not crumbly, Ritch as in... ritch? Rich Rich tea." and he shoed me where the buiscits are but they only had chocolate ones which I deffo didn't want. I think I wanted them to go with some cheese. I ended up buying two cans of V and a packet of fags instead, and forgot about it 'till just now.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:33, Reply)

I imagine you're gibbering like a monkey at the moment
and this would be the reason why he didn't understand you.
( Kroney, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:35, Reply)

I think I'm now officially worried about you.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 12 Aug 2011, 12:44, Reply)

I'm alright, seriously, I just had a shower to help sober me up a bit.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 13:11, Reply)

It's ok everyone I have sent someone round to make sure he's not playing with sharp things
or drowning in Yop
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 14:29, Reply)