Ironically, I just posted my first QOTW entry in months and it's 100% true
I had to be very tactful with my choice of words on Monday night, when consoling Ms Foxtrot's sister about another boy-related disaster. How does one answer the question "What is so wrong with me? Why do I only attract such wankers?"

By lying. That's how.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:48, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

"stop fancying wankers, you fucking idiot"
this answer to number 2.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:50, Reply)

She really has picked some wankers
Which is why I had to lie. The back-up response is obviously "all men are wankers" which is even worse.

I went with "I don't know, you're just unlucky" or some such, which was a lie because I know perfectly well that many of the traits she likes in a man are omnipresent amongst wankers.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I really think you should consider being honest.
I mean, it's unlikely to help, but at least she might understand better.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:00, Reply)

this
plus it feels good to stick it in peoples faces when they're being stupid
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:01, Reply)

I see where you're coming from
but I have to live with her. And I know her, she needs a bit of a wallow before the brutal truth will even be heard, let alone tolerated.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:02, Reply)

I had to answer "what does it mean when a guy says they're not sure they want a serious relationship"
the other day, I was tactful.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:51, Reply)

It means they are conkers deep in your mate.
fuck tactful. People need to learn to be honest and not be stupid. Because, otherwise, when people really don't want serious relationships, no-one believes them.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Good on you
I'd have been tempted to go with "It means he's already fucking your sister"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:55, Reply)

because youre fat and ugly and thats all youre ever going to get

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Oh I disagree, most people are fucking wankers so even the attractive nice people still end up with them from time to time.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:52, Reply)

poor attractive people, they have it hard enough already :(

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:58, Reply)

No, the awnser is "Have you meet my mate Gonz? He's from the internet, but he's not like the others, if anything, he'd be grateful himself".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Sorry mate you're still too short
You also need to be obsessively clean
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:56, Reply)

how tall is gonz?

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:58, Reply)

He said 5'7"ish last time I mentioned it

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:03, Reply)

I am taller than Gonz.
I don't know how I feel about this.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)

That means his head is just the right height
to snuggle into your bosom.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:05, Reply)

he's tall enough to kiss my chin

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Damn straight.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)

What are the chances of her actually being attracted to a nice guy?
My friend is in the same position, yet she's finally got a nice boyfriend, and isn't happy with him. Fucking idiot.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:53, Reply)

you shouldn't be with someone just because they're nice

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Nice = gay

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Piss off, I'm nice... oh

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:57, Reply)

nice = wimp

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:57, Reply)

not necessarily
but "just nice" isn't a reason to be with anyone, I agree.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:58, Reply)

It should all be about the cock.
Although I hope my wife doesn't think that.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Oh she does.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Oh man, I bet you swept your hand through your glossy lustrous mane while you wrote that.

(Bazongaloid, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:11, Reply)

Yeah, but then you shouldn't moan about "never meeting anyone nice"
which is what they all do.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 11:59, Reply)

if blokes would fucking shape up we wouldn't complain all the time

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:00, Reply)

If women had realistic expectations
they wouldn't be complaining all the time.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:04, Reply)

I expect to be treated with common decency.
However, I do not represent the entire female community, this is just what I want.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Yes you would.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:08, Reply)

it's true I complain about everything
but I really meant we wouldn't complain about only meeting wankers
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Wanker just means "somebody did something that I didn't like and I felt hurt by"
It's impossible to not be a wanker where women are concerned.
( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:11, Reply)

to be fair, there's a fuck load of women that are bitches, why hasn't anyone mentioned that?

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:13, Reply)

It's just taken as read.

( Kroney, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Because
B1TCH3Z A1NT $H1T
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:15, Reply)

FUCK B1TCH3Z G3T $$$$$M0N3Y$$$$$

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Plus, I'm always wanking.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Aug 2011, 12:15, Reply)