Cheap as possible, no dress code and large beer garden.
Really good simple food, small menu that changes regularly, like 4-5 mains 2-3 desserts and a few sharing platter things.
I'd try to get rid of cocktails or anything more complicated than spirit/mixer.
I'd have it so you can buy a fridge full of beer for the table, then whatever you don't drink gets refunded to you.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:28, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

That last bit
is a brilliant idea.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I think so.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Is this not Wetherspoons?
Apart from the bit about the food being good.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

The only problem I have with weatherspoons is the people.
I think getting rid of Jaeger bombs and jugs of cocktails will keep a lot of the scum away.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:31, Reply)

How about the food, decor, toilets, staff, ambience, TV's constantly on etc etc

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:32, Reply)

'The ambiance',what sortof wanker are you?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:34, Reply)

One that likes a pub with a nice atmousphere
not just sticky floors and vomit in the urinal
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:35, Reply)

You're going for a quick pint somewhere not setting up house, whipping out an ambianceometer and refusing to set foot inside as the vibes ain't right seems somewhat churlish

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Also weatherspoons are pretty clean and have regular neutral redecs, SO I DON@T KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Would you eat in a McDonalds?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I woudl kill for a quarter pounder right now.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Three or four times a year, on 'special occasions'
I'm not Lord of the Manor or anything
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:44, Reply)

As a treat?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:44, Reply)

As a freebe, I have friends in high places
I would pay for it though
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Me either but minimum standards usually apply.
This is why I hate myself when I go in a Wetherspoons. It makes me feel a bit dirty.

3 or 4 times a year I will go in one for a Large Mixed Grill or a breakfast.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:46, Reply)

I am quite a fan of the large mixed grills

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Nothing like the meat sweats at lunch time.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Yes, it's not 5* dining
But it's a larged mixed grill with a drink for £8.50, not exactly going to complain.

Then again, there's another pub that does the best lamb I've ever had outside the home for £8.50 too, hmmm
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Today?
Bit hot for all that.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Couldn't get there, eat it, and get back to work in an hour, sadly
Saturday, however, is a different matter. They also do rather excellent pints of Peroni in there.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Lunchtime mixed grill is affectionately known as a "load up".
See also chinky load up.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Racist

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:01, Reply)

R L
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Most staff at weatherspoons seem alright to me.
No more cunts than any other pub chain.
I don't mind the TV's on either, and pub toilets are pub toilets.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I realise that you are born and bred in MK
but surely you can muster a little more taste than these posts suggest?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:36, Reply)

I wasn't born and bred in MK.
But classing 100+ different pubs as "scummy" is fucking moronic.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:39, Reply)

It isn't in a way shape or form
Wet5herspoons are aimed at the dregs of society and are therefore nasty, souless pits of despair
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:43, Reply)

You're an idiot.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I think you'll find most sane people would rather have a pint of decent beer
in an nice old pub, with original fittings. Than the 'Ferry style' wetherspoons full of drunks and losers
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Is that why they're all being shut and weatherspoons is doing alright for itself.
Running pubs outside of freeholds is a mugs game
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:49, Reply)

^this.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:51, Reply)

They really are not.
Some are, but there are genuinely some nice ones. Compare the flea pit that is the one on Balham High Road to the The Prior John in Bridlington.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:48, Reply)

I'm not sure weather you count as an 'expert' or not.

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:50, Reply)

weather? Shurely you mean Wether?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:51, Reply)

whether
/pedant
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Wether-spoons.
Hence the capital W, binarybollocks.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Fucking hell, it's a spell off round here

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Having experienced them as a drinker
and while sober, I probably do.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:52, Reply)

SCARPE 4 CAMRA!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:55, Reply)