If you were to open your own bar, what would it be like?
Would you make it so that you weren't allowed in without a shirt and tie, or no dress code whatsoever?

What drinks would you serve/specialise in? What drinks would you never, ever serve, under pain of death?

Alt: Least favourite teacher at School, and why?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:24, 129 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

No wankers with comedy t-shirts

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:26, Reply)

That's a very roundabout way of saying "no bashes"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:28, Reply)

I'd be up for that.

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

Mine would be like a Gentlemen's club, dark wood, leather chairs etc
Smart dress, tie and jacket essential and we would specialise in gin.

Alt: Mr. Christie the Warden, he hated me and I hated him
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:26, Reply)

Cheap as possible, no dress code and large beer garden.
Really good simple food, small menu that changes regularly, like 4-5 mains 2-3 desserts and a few sharing platter things.
I'd try to get rid of cocktails or anything more complicated than spirit/mixer.
I'd have it so you can buy a fridge full of beer for the table, then whatever you don't drink gets refunded to you.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:28, Reply)

That last bit
is a brilliant idea.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I think so.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Is this not Wetherspoons?
Apart from the bit about the food being good.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

The only problem I have with weatherspoons is the people.
I think getting rid of Jaeger bombs and jugs of cocktails will keep a lot of the scum away.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:31, Reply)

How about the food, decor, toilets, staff, ambience, TV's constantly on etc etc

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:32, Reply)

'The ambiance',what sortof wanker are you?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:34, Reply)

One that likes a pub with a nice atmousphere
not just sticky floors and vomit in the urinal
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:35, Reply)

You're going for a quick pint somewhere not setting up house, whipping out an ambianceometer and refusing to set foot inside as the vibes ain't right seems somewhat churlish

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Also weatherspoons are pretty clean and have regular neutral redecs, SO I DON@T KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Would you eat in a McDonalds?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I woudl kill for a quarter pounder right now.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Three or four times a year, on 'special occasions'
I'm not Lord of the Manor or anything
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:44, Reply)

As a treat?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:44, Reply)

As a freebe, I have friends in high places
I would pay for it though
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Me either but minimum standards usually apply.
This is why I hate myself when I go in a Wetherspoons. It makes me feel a bit dirty.

3 or 4 times a year I will go in one for a Large Mixed Grill or a breakfast.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:46, Reply)

I am quite a fan of the large mixed grills

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Nothing like the meat sweats at lunch time.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Yes, it's not 5* dining
But it's a larged mixed grill with a drink for £8.50, not exactly going to complain.

Then again, there's another pub that does the best lamb I've ever had outside the home for £8.50 too, hmmm
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Today?
Bit hot for all that.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Couldn't get there, eat it, and get back to work in an hour, sadly
Saturday, however, is a different matter. They also do rather excellent pints of Peroni in there.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Lunchtime mixed grill is affectionately known as a "load up".
See also chinky load up.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Racist

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:01, Reply)

R L
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Most staff at weatherspoons seem alright to me.
No more cunts than any other pub chain.
I don't mind the TV's on either, and pub toilets are pub toilets.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I realise that you are born and bred in MK
but surely you can muster a little more taste than these posts suggest?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:36, Reply)

I wasn't born and bred in MK.
But classing 100+ different pubs as "scummy" is fucking moronic.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:39, Reply)

It isn't in a way shape or form
Wet5herspoons are aimed at the dregs of society and are therefore nasty, souless pits of despair
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:43, Reply)

You're an idiot.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I think you'll find most sane people would rather have a pint of decent beer
in an nice old pub, with original fittings. Than the 'Ferry style' wetherspoons full of drunks and losers
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Is that why they're all being shut and weatherspoons is doing alright for itself.
Running pubs outside of freeholds is a mugs game
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:49, Reply)

^this.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:51, Reply)

They really are not.
Some are, but there are genuinely some nice ones. Compare the flea pit that is the one on Balham High Road to the The Prior John in Bridlington.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:48, Reply)

I'm not sure weather you count as an 'expert' or not.

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:50, Reply)

weather? Shurely you mean Wether?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:51, Reply)

whether
/pedant
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Wether-spoons.
Hence the capital W, binarybollocks.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Fucking hell, it's a spell off round here

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Having experienced them as a drinker
and while sober, I probably do.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:52, Reply)

SCARPE 4 CAMRA!

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Mine would be a milkshake bar
just to play it safe.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:29, Reply)

So you could bring all the mongs to the yard?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

It's a public service
so you always know where they are.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:34, Reply)

No kids allowed.
Free minibus taking locals home when shitfaced.
Decent food made with fresh local ingredients.
No estate agents allowed.
Large beer garden.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

70's biker bar
Twats and hipsters are scared of bikers so would stay out.

Least favourite teacher. Mr Clemo. Everyone fucking loved him and all the girls fancied him but I could see through his false facade. Plus the cunt once bollocked me for something I hadn't done and when I managed to prove I hadn't done it said "Sometimes in this life you have to take the blame for things you haven't done, get used to it" I intend to claim he raped me right in the arse 15 years ago and then say the same thing back at him.
( Peej, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:30, Reply)

I'd have a pub where at 8pm the background music isn't
suddenly yanked up to 11 in anticipation of PARTY TIME
( Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:35, Reply)

This is a very good idea.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:39, Reply)

My pub would be called the Go Go Gadget Arms
Its doors would be manned by flamboyantly gay Ninjas who would critique everyone's dress sense on the way in and refuse entry to anyone who looked a bit fighty/poor/from Derbyshire/like they might sing along to the chorus of "Sex on Fire".

I would personally supervise and rework the contents of the jukebox daily. VNV Nation and Lady GaGa would feature heavily.

The bar would have a Foster's pump which would not serve Fosters, but if anyone asked for a pint thereof an AUSSIE SIREN would sound and the entire bar would point and laugh whilst chanting "three innings defeats in your back yard" repeatedly.

And some other stuff I haven't thought of.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Alt: Coffee and tea.
Under no circumstances could you use a card for purchases under £25. Go to the cash machine you lazy cunt instead of slowing down service for everyone.

Edit: And I would have someone clearing glasses and wiping tables at ALL times. And re-introduce smoking.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:39, Reply)

This!
I used to work in a pub and we paid a guy to collect glasses, wipe tables and nothing else.
( Peej, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Did he smoke?
I'd have a slam dunk if he did.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:57, Reply)

He shouldn't be paid
Every good pub needs a mental bloke who voluntarily goes around collecting glasses, being the manager's best mate and generally pissing off the staff. All on the off chance that they *might* gift him a drink.
He is, of course, already drunk.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:00, Reply)

We've all done it. Ahem.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Have you also collected dog-ends
then rolled your own tabs with them?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

For mine, I'd have no dress code, as I've found that how people dress doesn't change how much of a wanker they are
I'd have a pool table, I'd show sports on TV (only if requested though, and it'd be in a seperate room to the main bar). I'd have live bands on from time to time, but I'd prefer a well stocked jukebox.

There would have to be a large beer garden, as there are very few of them round here, makes me realise just how much I actually miss using them.

There would be a minimum of 4 ales on at a time, with at least 1 being locally sourced. Cocktails would only be allowed once a week, pitchers are a no-no.

EDIT: I'd also allow suggestions for what the next ale should be!

Drinks banned would be Fosters, Carlsberg and Pepsi, it's real Coke (and Diet) or nothing.

Alt: Mr Iain McKie, my rugby teacher in Year 7. What a cunt.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:39, Reply)

I have no problem with any of that
except for the Pepsi thing. Being as I don't drink, I usually end up on the Cola when I go out, and there appears to be something in Coke that I'm allergic to. Brings me right out in a nasty rash. Bizarrely, Pepsi doesn't have the same effect, so I've switched allegiances.
What I don't get is why pubs have to choose one or the other. They serve more than one type of lager, more than one type of ale, usually more than one type of cider, so why not more than one type of cola? Even if only one was on draught, it would make my life easier.

Damn you, Real Coke! *shakes fist*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:47, Reply)

This is a good point
Ah well, you'll just have to get by with lemonade
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:50, Reply)

As long as you have diet...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:52, Reply)

There's no taste to it!
But, if you insist.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:53, Reply)

bottle of lambrini and a park bench, that's all you need

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:42, Reply)

A man of my advancing years needs a cushion on a chair.
I could wear 3 pairs of keks I suppose.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:44, Reply)

oh sorry, I didn't realise you were a friend of Darth

(Quinton had to abandon other account as i broke it, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Careful is my watchword.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Five Star - Sister Addict

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:47, Reply)

Sam Fox - (inappropriately) Touch Me

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Well, maybe three bottles.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:45, Reply)

1) Cocktails, good ones, none of this "Sorry mate, we've got no mint so used creme de meths instead" bullshit. On the back wall would be a herb garden that would be used to make cocktails.
2) Food menu that changes every month depending on what's seasonal and what we can get on special offer from the local butchers/finshmongers/whatever
3) A function room that can be used for free to local groups on the condition that if a paying client comes along, they get first dibs.
4) Move and Film nights, comedy nights, quiz nights...etc.
5) Film/tv night will be in the huge beer garden on a big projector so people can smoke at the same time.
6) A selection of flavoured ciggerettes, as well as normal ones, and you can hire one of those arabic pipe things.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:51, Reply)

I like the film night idea

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:52, Reply)

That last point makes it sound more like an opium den...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Our local is a pretty good example of how to do a nice pub
It's an estate pub, so doesn't get much in the way of 'passing' trade, so the landlady has gone out of her way to get people in.

There's a free lending library in one corner of the lounge, where you can take away any book as long as you promise to bring it back after.
She has free pool on Thursday nights and Sunday afternoons, a coffee morning for old dears, followed by a lunch club where she cooks them a hot dinner (with pudding).
There's also pool league night, pub quiz night, live music on a Friday, and any sports events on terrestrial TV are shown on the big screen.
Plus, she lets dogs in, which is nice.

In fact, the only downside is that screaming kids are allowed in too. Bastards. It's a fucking pub, not a crèche!
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:52, Reply)

That sounds absolutely excellent

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:53, Reply)

You like screaming kids?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Everything but the screaming kids, I mean

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Admit it.
You love the sound of kids screaming.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Yeah, but she doesn't serve Pepsi either : (

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:04, Reply)

So what is the pudding like?
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO..... LAWL.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Oh, you are a wag.
You know when I'm a merry widow, and I have loads of money and I'm looking for a toyboy?

Guess where I *won't* be looking.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:02, Reply)

The Terry Wogan fan site?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Togs
Never a-fucking-gain
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Gosh darn it !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 13:01, Reply)

Rotating roster of real ales
SIA trained barstaff to deal with wankers.
Free wifi.
Child free days.
Dogs allowed.
No cheap lagers.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Free Wifi attracts wankers
My pub would have a no laptops policy and anyone entering a pub quiz will have to hand their phones in, anyone caught cheating will be put in stocks and have the slops trays poured over them, they will then be covered in wasps.
( Peej, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:01, Reply)

This is the best idea so far!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:02, Reply)

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:02, Reply)

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

My perfect pub is thus
Open fire. No children.

Beers in proper tapped casks behind the bar. Local beer from The Hogshead Brewery and the Shere Brewery. A couple of gas pumped lagers for those that don't know any better.

A couple of good Somerset ciders.
( Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Excellent choices
I love a good old 'rough and ready' country pub.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:04, Reply)

+ lic lavatory bumming.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:06, Reply)

very good

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:08, Reply)

All excellent choices
Sounds pretty similar to a place I used to drink in.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Theres a pub in Falmouth where all the beer is poured right from the cask,
the casks are all behind the bar and cooled with damp bar towels. Its the best bar in town. Wankers are banned and no frills. If anyone comes to Cornwalland i'll take them there for a pint
( Peej, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:13, Reply)

I would call mine 'Bar Humbug'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:03, Reply)

No LARPers or gays. Or foreigns.
In fact I would only allow midgets in.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:04, Reply)

How would they get up onto the bar stools?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:05, Reply)

The bar would be v low, as would the seats.
God you're thick.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:07, Reply)

We already set the bar low for you Monty.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Oh man Lusty is going to kick your arse

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:10, Reply)

7 dwarves walk into a bar
Too high for them to see over innit?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:06, Reply)

I'd give a free Guinness
to any midget turning up dressed as a leprechaun on St Patrick’s Day – provided they could prove they got to the bar on public transport.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:12, Reply)

20% off for any midget ordering a round of 'shorts'.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:16, Reply)

I'd have a 'foot of ale' glass behind the bar.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Haha
I would suggest that you don't allow anyone in at all.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:05, Reply)

We should open a bar together monty
with your credit history and my work ethic, what could go wrong.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:06, Reply)

My brother and I discussed buying a pub once.
We agreed that we would both be dead within a year if we did.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:10, Reply)

and broke

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:10, Reply)

At busy times, people would be banned from sitting on bar stools at the bar, or standing drinkning at the bar for that matter
Fuck off you selfish cunts I need a sodding gin
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Absolutely this, with one amendment
busy all
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:14, Reply)

My best business idea
is to open a chip shop in Jerusalem called 'Arbeit Macht Fry'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Good Lord
Chips set you free
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Work makes you dead.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Those lazy cunts.
Even with that inspirational motto over the gates the workshy bastards still did fuck all. Most days they didn't even get dressed, just dossed about in their pyjamas. Fucking students.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Idea for a series:
a sitcom about a secret Hassidic kamikaze squadron, called 'Torah! Torah! Torah!'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:26, Reply)

More of this please
Keep 'em coming
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:28, Reply)

A sitcom based around a mining company
called "Borer! Borer! Borer!"?
( Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:31, Reply)

A sit com about a father forced to send his triplet daughters out on the game to make ends meet
Called "Whore 'er! Whore 'er! Whore 'er!"
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Oh, jolly good.

( Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:35, Reply)

A sitcom based on the idea that Supermans father has had two identical clones made of himself
called "Jorel! Jorel! Jorel!"
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:39, Reply)

Less good
They do all seem to be jumping on the getting stuck/dying bandwagon though, don't they?
I mean, I was quite into the Chilean miners in the early days (when they were still underground), but with the Welsh ones and now Yorkshire the whole thing has got too mainstream for my liking.
/hipster
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Monty's patent contact lens two part cleaner.
The final solution will make your eyes sparkle.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:32, Reply)

A period drama about the famous Ashley family,
focussing on the bad behaviour of the youngest daughter - who later in life became a famous retailer of floral print dresses in a Victorian style.

Called 'Laura! Laura! Laura!'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:38, Reply)

Good call, I couldn't think of a famous Laura.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:39, Reply)

Something something French composers
Fauré! Fauré! Fauré!

/not very good at this
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:42, Reply)

A documentary investigating potential sightings of Madeleine McCann
"Saw her! Saw her! Oh actually no I didn't, sorry"
( Kroney, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:39, Reply)

A young, american TV character is kidnapped, cloned, and made into a human centipede with her two clones
Called "Dora, Dora, Dora!"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:41, Reply)