Am just going to list people Nakers is marginally cooler than
in order to see how many comparisons Monty's got filed away in preparation for this abuse-fest of a thread.

Jamie Oliver
David Walliams
Richard Blackwood
Gillian McKeith
Louis Walsh
Robbie Williams
Robin Williams
The Spice Girls

Have a go at those while I think of some more, or possibly about food, again
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 15:50, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I heard that Nakers is single-handedly responsible for the careers of all of those people

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 15:52, Reply)

I've heard he IS those people
All of them. Have you seen them in a room together (apart from the TV Quick awards)?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 15:54, Reply)

Then death is too good for him
We should train cats to alternately piss on and chew off his kneecaps
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 15:55, Reply)

Good death move

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 15:57, Reply)

That's a trick Mortal Kombat missed
not enough cats
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Agreed

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:00, Reply)

If I suspect for a moment
that you are criticising the British Will Smith (tm) I will personally drown you in the Regent's Canal in Camden and I assure you that is NOT a euphemism. Got it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 15:56, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 15:57, Reply)

I fucking love that description of Blackwood
It's like calling Nakers the new Genghis Khan because people think of a word beginning with "Mong" in each case
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:01, Reply)

He actually referred to himself in that way.
He made it up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:03, Reply)

I know. That's why it's so funny.
"Hey, I'm black, and a comic, and a rapper! So I'm just like Will Smith!"

Yes dear. I'm white, like to think I'm funny and say "cunt" a lot, but no-one's comparing me to Peter Cook.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:06, Reply)

Paedo cock, more like.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:10, Reply)

I know the mantra "If you haven't anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" is anathema to the lifeblood of B3ta
but in this case, "If you haven't anything funny to say..." would be apt.

tl:dr etc - that wasn't very good
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:14, Reply)

Compared with Nakers
Jamie Oliver is like Steve McQueen in Bullitt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 15:57, Reply)

Needs MOAR hubcaps

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Compared with Nakers
David Williams (I will not call him by his stupid stage name cf Darren Brown) is like Dirty Harry.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Dirty cunt more like

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 15:59, Reply)

Compared with Nakers
Richard Blackwood is like Will Smith.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:00, Reply)

nice

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:00, Reply)

YO HOMES, TO BELL-END!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:01, Reply)

I'm feeling more suggestive already.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:02, Reply)

Your child will smell like hammers

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 16:07, Reply)